Posted on 11/19/2004 11:24:44 AM PST by NYer
Would the Church be better served if priests were married? Those who propose lifting the celibacy requirement claim that this change would bring about a great increase in vocations, would provide parishes with priests who better understand the problems of family life, would make the priests themselves happier, and would generally improve the Church all around. It sounds lovely. But the advocates of a married clergy need to give a little more thought to the real consequences of their blithe slogans. Perhaps they will listen to a wife who has been there.
Let us consider a typical, moderately large parish in an affluent American community, in which three priests live in a rectory that also houses the parish office. What changes would have to be made if the priests of this parish were married?
First, there would have to be many more priests at the parish. A celibate man can give all his time to the parish; a married man must give priority to his family. So these three priests must become five or six, leaving the "priest shortage" right where it was, even if the removal of the celibacy rule doubles the number of priests in America.
But that's only the beginning. The stipend of a priest is nowhere near enough to support a family; it's not even half enough. The salary of a married priest would have to be about three times the current stipend in order to keep a priest's family above the federal poverty line. (Would young men flock to the priesthood so they can support their families in near-poverty?) If the parish does not want the priest and his family to be the poorest family in the neighborhood, probably unable to afford even to send their children to the parish school, the salary would have to be higher still. Now figure in health insurance premiums for a wife and several children per priest.
And, of course, those six families can't all live in that rectory, and the parish offices can't be in the home of just one of them. So we now need six houses, and extra space somewhere else, to replace the one rectory. If the priests are expected to furnish their own housing, their salary will have to be increased even more.
Thus, supporting married priests will cost that three-priest parish more than six times what it now spends to support its priests. Does any parish consider itself that affluent? Is the average parishioner willing to multiply his offering by six? In all likelihood, the priests will have to work outside the priesthood to bring in income. Of course, their time for the parish and parishioners will decrease. So the parishioners, even if they could somehow support their six priests, would still find themselves short of priestly attention.
The financial burden is one thing, but there is also a very heavy emotional burden to be borne by priests - and their families. One hears the argument that "Protestant ministers can marry, and it works well for them," but the fact is that it doesn't work well. How many of the advocates of a married priesthood are truly aware of the struggles of a Protestant clergyman's family?
Every married pastor faces, throughout his career, the tension between the needs of the church and the needs of his family. Some find ways to resolve it to their satisfaction; most do not. Both church and family require more than half of a man's time and energy. Both can be demanding; and churches, which generally have no interest in a pastor's emotional health, are particularly demanding. The effects of this tension show up in families in various ways. Some wives - and many children - of pastors blame the church for depriving them of husband or father and leave the church, and even Christianity, altogether. One pastor said he expected his tombstone to read "Daddy's Gone to Another Meeting. " Another came home from a trip to find that his young son didn't even know he had been away - he was home so rarely anyway. Many a pastor's wife considers herself the next thing to a single parent.
On top of this, a pastor's wife and children are themselves without pastoral care. No man, however talented or dedicated, can be pastor and husband or father to the same people. The objectivity required of the pastoral role is missing. But the minister's family cannot seek spiritual direction and sustenance elsewhere; loyalty and the need to avoid the appearance of a split in the family require that they remain at his church. When the father's career and the family's spiritual life are one and the same, the spiritual life suffers badly.
A priest or minister is seldom off duty. Any family activity is likely to be interrupted, often for the most trivial of reasons. A vacation at home is impossible for a clergyman's family; if he's around, he's assumed to be available to his flock. The bum-out rate among Protestant pastors is very high. If relaxing the celibacy rule increases the number of priests, it will have to increase it enough to make up for the large number who will leave the priesthood when they, like so many of their Protestant colleagues, find the toll it takes on the families impossible to accept.
Or if a priest's wife leaves him, and the priest wants to continue functioning as a priest, what is the bishop supposed to do? Pretend everything is fine? What sort of message would that send? Would many parishioners be scandalized? Would others feel they now have permission to dump their spouses? And how well would any of them be pastored by the priest going through this private anguish? Or should the bishop quietly and quickly ship the priest (and his children?) off to a remote outpost in the diocese, hoping no one will be the wiser? This tactic has not won the hearts of Catholics where the problem has been pedophilia or some other violation of the vow of celibacy.
Or should the priest be laicized? Many would see this as the only solution that fully honors the sacrament of Holy Matrimony. Could the institution of marriage, already stretched to the breaking point and denigrated to the point of virtual irrelevance, survive the spectacle of separating and divorcing priests who are allowed to continue functioning as priests? But others would feel that automatic laicization would punish the priest for transgressions that were, in most cases, not entirely his own or for a tragedy that was not entirely his fault. And is any of us ready to hear this announcement from the pulpit: The special third collection today will be for our Alimony Fund?
It is a fact that most Christians see their clergy as men set apart, not quite "real people," regardless of the steps the minister or priest takes to counteract that view. This impression, strong in Protestant churches, is even stronger among Catholics, because Catholic priests are set apart by their ordination in a way Protestant ministers are not. This sense of separateness extends to the pastor's family. A minister's wife who is pregnant may find that church members are uncomfortable with her as a living symbol of the pastor's active sexuality; a minister's children often find the expectation that they will be models of good behavior, piety, and academic achievement a crushing burden. Close friendships within the church can prove impossible to establish, depriving the pastor's family of the bonds with other Christians so important to spiritual growth. The difference between the Protestant and Catholic understandings of ordination means that a priest's family would suffer this isolation to an even greater degree than a Protestant minister's family does.
In discussing the need for more vocations, it is easy to offer facile solutions, to say that many more young men would become priests if priests could be married. There is little evidence to support this contention; but even if it were true, the cure would be worse than the disease
The unmarried man cares for the Lord's business; his aim is to please the Lord. But the married man cares for worldly things; his aim is to please his wife; and he has a divided mind. 1 Corinthians 7-32-33, NEB
Dear Kolokotronis,
You're welcome.
Actually, in my own first post to this thread, I made similar comments against the arguments contained within the posted article.
"That would be about my timeline! :)"
I'm more hopeful than you are. ;-)
"But no reason not to have a cup of good sweet cafe and a piece of baklava together (like I'm doing right now)!"
That sounds good, but I'm not that big on dessert. If we're eating Greek, there is a chicken-lemon soup that I really, really love...
sitetest
"That sounds good, but I'm not that big on dessert. If we're eating Greek, there is a chicken-lemon soup that I really, really love..."
Avgo-limano soupa (egg/lemon soup) Great soup, my favorite. Be careful with the beaten egg yokes, if you do it wrong, you get lemon flavored scrambled eggs...but they're good too!
I do hope everything works out for you guys on the priest shortage. Around here they have "twined" parishes and the priest corps gets older and older and smaller and smaller.
I didn't say that. I said ...the church has made the invitation of ordinaton to nearly nobody. The probelem is that the misinterpretation of what St. Paul is saying has made the invitation "attractive" to a cohort that is populated by too many with wrong motives. Ordination should not invite just "sexual super athletes."
You are truly blessed in your diocese,which one our you in?
/sarcasm
"Avgo-limano"
Yes. The first time I had that was at a Greek deli near the University of Maryland. Owned by this Greek fellow (imagine that). He was a bit gruff. My wife and I were poor in those days, and when we'd eat out, ate where we could get lots of food for small amounts of money.
Anyway, on our first visit, the owner came over to take our order. I asked, "What's good?"
He looked at me stonily and said, "Nothing."
I replied, "In that case, I guess we'll leave!"
He realized quickly that he was about to lose his only two customers, so he persuaded us to stay. They had the soup that day. It was really really good.
That was 20 years ago. I still order it when I can find it.
sitetest
Dear Kolokotronis,
Almost forgot:
"I do hope everything works out for you guys on the priest shortage."
Thanks. But in the Archdiocese of Washington, we're holding our own. Under Cardinal McCarrick (mostly despised here at FR), vocations have about doubled, and appear to be moving beyond that point.
Over the next ten or so years, it'll be tight, as a large cohort of priests will be retiring, and the recent upsurge in vocations will not have had enough of an effect to help much.
However, in terms of the sacraments, in Washington, we are fortunate in that many priests come to study at the Catholic University of America.
Sometimes, we actually do get to three priests in a single parish - a pastor, an associate pastor, and a priest living in residence. It makes it easier to maintain the Mass schedule, and for providing other sacraments.
But these priests are supported by other dioceses/orders, and really don't do much, if any, pastoral work.
sitetest
Dear JohnnyZ,
That would be unusual here for a "moderately large parish," with two exceptions:
As I explained to Kolokotronis, we have a lot of priests from other parts of the country here to study at the Catholic University of America, or to work for various national Catholic organizations (like the USCCB).
These priests will sometimes live in residence at parishes. They help out with Mass and stuff, but don't really do pastoral work.
And, with regard to the article, they derive their support from their own orders or dioceses, and thus, married or no, would present no financial burden on our parishes.
The second exception is that there are a few priests here and there who work in secular fields and who are not assigned to parishes. They don't live at any parish, and receive no real income from any parish. Nonetheless, they will often help out with the weekend schedule of Masses.
Again, with regard to the article, these priests would place no additional burden on parish finances.
sitetest
I feel sorry for you for two reasons. First, you should eat more egg-lemon soup; second, restaurant soup is for Americans!
Try this:
Ingredients:
1-2 quarts Chicken Broth
3 Whole Eggs
3 Whole Lemons (Squeezed)
Enough Pepper
Enough Orzo (cook it a little)
Enough Salt
* Beat egg the eggs until they are very smooth with no bubbles.
* Add lemon juice to mixture while continuing to beat.
* Put some hot chicken broth in bowl (not much and dribble it in) and gradually (by spoonfuls) add some of the egg mixture into remaining chicken stock pot. The soup can be hot but not too hot.
* Do this slowly...adding a little at a time, as not to curdle otherwise you'll get chicken lemon scrambled eggs.
* Soup can be heated over a very low heat and stirred constantly.
* Add the orzo, salt, pepper, and any other seasonings to taste. Enough means if you like it use more, if not use less.
* Do not boil!!!
Best way to get the broth is to boil an old chicken or a rooster. Skim off the fat and use the chicken in the soup.
That's the way we make it for ourselves. Its good for you!
Dear Kolokotronis,
"I feel sorry for you for two reasons. First, you should eat more egg-lemon soup; second, restaurant soup is for Americans!"
Thank you! That's how I feel about folks whose mothers didn't teach them how to make good Italian meatballs, or good Italian gravy (tomato sauce, to all of you who are not Italian).
I will say, though, that I've been fortunate to find a few very, very good Greek restaurants over the years.
But, I will print out the recipe and my wife and I will give it a go. She is looking over my shoulder, and we're discussing how much orzo we can get away with (we're supposed to be on Atkins). ;-)
Thank you again!
sitetest
Charlotte.
Huh? A celibate pries has a low salary because he gets free housing. Okay.
However, a 'married' priest could do the same for the same amount of money? I am DEFINITELY missing something here. What about the family's clothing, school sports, summer camp? What about trips to the shoe store? A celibate priest requires a pair of sturdy, basic black, Florsheim shoes. A family ... well ... no need for me to even begin to list their footwear needs. What about the Orthodontist? And ... what about college tuition?!!
I have obviously missed something in your post .. thank you for clarifying it.
Would you or may I post it as a separate thread? This speaks volumes!
" She is looking over my shoulder, and we're discussing how much orzo we can get away with (we're supposed to be on Atkins). ;-) "
All you want! Its good for you, just like good oil (you know what I mean). A curse on Atkins!
By the way, we have my wife's Aunt Constantina's recipe for gravy...from Napoli; like dying and going to heaven, which I trust is where Aunt Connie is. She weighed over 400 pounds when she died, a very old lady!
Dear NYer,
Yes, part of the compensation received by priests is free housing and food, at least in our archdiocese. Our own priests live in a very comfortable house, at no charge. Surrounding parishes have more humble rectories (our pastor was a general contractor before becoming a priest, and he oversaw the building of a large, beautiful new rectory - it's about 5000 sq ft), but nonetheless, the priests live in them without cost to them.
Priests in the Archdiocese of Washington make about $20,000 per year. I think that pastors get a little more, and others a little less. For a single fellow without any housing cost, that's pretty comfortable.
"However, a 'married' priest could do the same for the same amount of money?"
Well, that's not what I actually said. Here's what I actually said:
"If a married priest could live in our rectory with his family, it would be unnecessary to increase his salary three-fold. It might not be necessary to increase his salary to even double."
In other words, in contradiction to this article, it would not be necessary to triple the married priest's salary (say, from $20,000 to $60,000) if he were to live in the rectory. Frankly, if we're offering folks free housing plus $60K per year, maybe I might sign up!
With free housing costs, it might not even be quite necessary to double his salary. Housing costs can be real bear around here.
Frankly, without any housing cost, a pastor could live modestly, but comfortably, in this area on an extra $30,000 - $35,000 per year. Especially if the local Catholic school admits the kids for free.
I'm not saying that a married priest wouldn't need more pay than a single priest, only that it wouldn't be triple if the priest and his family could live in the rectory.
The article grossly exaggerates the financial implications of a married priesthood.
I don't think that Washington is out of line with other dioceses. From an article from the Detroit Free Press:
http://www.freep.com/news/religion/priest5_20040405.htm
"Detroit priest salaries will range from about $12,000 for new priests to about $20,000 for priests still running parishes in their late 70s. Besides salary, priests get a $10,257 annual transportation allowance, plus housing, food, health care and pension contributions."
There, including his car allowance, a pastor gets a bit over $30,000, plus housing and food.
sitetest
Frith,are you a member of Wicca?
Has the Time Come to Consider Making Celibacy Truly Optional In the Western Church?
Catholic Scandals: A Crisis for Celibacy?
Celibacy of the priesthood is a church strength, not a liability
Celibacy s history of power and money
Pope: Priests Must Stay Celibate
Giving Thanks for the Good Shepherds ( A Defense of Priestly Celibacy)
Don't end celibacy for priests
Priestly Celibacy And Its Roots In Christ
How to Refute Arguments Against Priestly Celibacy
Priestly Celibacy Reflects Who - and Whose - We Are[Father George W.Rutler]
Tracing the Glorious Origins of Celibacy
God’s call to celibacy for the sake of His Kingdom - by Card. George
Vatican Says Celibacy Rule Nonnegotiable
Bishop Attacks Move to End Celibacy
A response to Fr. Joseph Wilson's defense of mandatory celibacy
The gift of Priestly celibacy as a sign of the charity of Christ, by Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Archbishop Dolan:"We Need to Be Renewing Our Pledge to Celibacy, Not Questioning It"
Celibacy is gift cherished by church
Celibacy Will Save the Priesthood
Celibacy Defended by EWTN's Fr. Levis
The (Catholic) Church Has Always Prospered When Celibacy Is Honored
John Paul II Hails "Inestimable Value" of Priestly Celibacy
For Priests, Celibacy Is Not the Problem
Fr. Shannon Collins Discusses Celibacy
5 Arguments Against (Catholic) Priestly Celibacy and How to Refute Them
I strongly support a Chaste Celibate Catholic Clergy and Religious.
Thank you for your honest input to this discussion! And, there you have it! From the mouth of one who has experienced this first hand!
Though not qualified to speak on a long term basis, I can certainly attest that from my one year experience in an Eastern Catholic Rite US Church, there are solid and valid reasons why the prelates who come here are chosen exclusively from the celibate clergy. Even with our scaled down mass schedule - 2 liturgies per week (only one on the first weekend of the month), no priest can attend to the parish family and his own family, without sacrificing the needs of the parish. Life in the US is far more complex than in the Middle East and demands the constant nurturing and attention of a celibate prelate.
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