The Post Rapture Survival Guide

raptureready.com | Kurt Seland

[T'wit]

I read the headline and thought it had to do with rapture brought on by reading the Washington POST. This would be such a horrible affliction, nobody could survive.

[kansas_goat_roper]

Don't be fooled by the pretrib rapture fairytale. The rapture will occur after the tribulation and prior to the the wrath of God poured out in the ungody at the 2nd advent of the Lord.

Yes we are not appointed to wrath although the Lord said we would know tribulation and that we should expect it and be prepared for it.

[NYrepub2000]

The rapture, Someone pls. find me this rapture ever mentioned once in the bible????????? This word does not appear once in all the bible.

[Ff--150]

WhatNot!!! Howdy!!!

Keep posting this stuff, would ya? Literally about to actually hit the floor chuckling at these replies.

[Bismark]

Does the word "bible" occur in the Bible? Hmmmm

[eagle11]

No, rapture does not occur in the Bible. Neither does the Big Band, quantum physics, the evolution of the human species, knowledge of DNA, extrasolar planets, etc....

[Gamecock]

Actually, the Greek word Biblos appears 12 times in the New Testament. The modern English translation is a "written book, a roll, a scroll" This Greek word is where we get the word Bible.

[NYrepub2000]

Big difference when we are interpreting scripture and the languauges, even when interpreted it does'nt even mention the word rapture. THis notion we are all going to fly up into the Air in our flesh bodies and be raptured away is nonsense just wrong interpretation of scripture. When Christ returns we will be changed in a twinkle of an eye to our spirit bodies but not till Antichrist comes and leads many away,astray etc etc etc. The rising of our souls to meet with christ is what will happen and even those that lay in thier graves will rise at that time for final judgement.

[PAR35]

I just scanned the story, and I found one questionable statement about the scriptures.

When Jesus’ disciples asked Him about the signs that would be a precursor to His coming and the end of the age His response, recorded in Matthew 24, was:
Wars and rumors of wars
Nation will rise against nation.

What He really said was that these were not signs of the end times.

Mt 24:4-14 are signs that "the end is not yet" (verse 6)

Mt 24:15-18 speakes of the tribulation, shortened, of course, for the sake of the elect. (verse 22)

Mt 24:29-31 Then Christ will come again, not secretly, but so that the whole world knows.

Try reading the Bible rather than stories like this, and you can become a a-mil and you won't have to worry about being left behind.

[LadyDoc]

I think it is absurd that a bunch of fairly affluent American Christians think they will be "raptured" and never have to face persecution, while our Christian Brothers and sisters are suffering persecution and death in Africa, China, VietNam, Indonesia, etc.

You believe in the rapture? Fine.

But wouldn't it be better to prepare for persecution that will probably come to the US in the next twenty years? If this happens, what will you do? complain because God didn't perform a "deus ex machina" to save your little bottom?

[Travis McGee]

Please show me where in the Bible "the rapture" is mentioned.

[Not A Snowbird]

Neither does the Big Band,

How about jazz bands?

[WhiteGuy]

So, should I go ahead and mail my mortgage payment or not?

I mean, if this predicted event is about to happen, I'd like to keep hold of my cash.

A guy at work was badmouthing me because I'm Catholic.

He tells me that unless I "come on down" at one of pastor Rod Parsley's "Come to Jesus" sessions, I'm heading straight to H-E-L-L.

I told him that Parsley was a fake, and that he was a splitter.

He got so pissed that he went out during break and keyed my car. He also took a dump on the hood, but he swore it wasn't him.

(Lying is a sin right?)

He's such a hypocrite, I know for a fact that this guy watches "The Osbornes" on MTV and I heard him listening to Howard Stern in his truck one morning.

Some christian.

Another guy thought it would be funny to bring some "special" brownies in and leave them in the breakroom.
We knew that "mr. holier than you" would be all over free food.

Sure enough, old "mr. you're going to hell" ate about half the Tupperware bowl before his shift even started and spent the next 6 hours sneaking back to the breakroom and stealing snacks out of the lunch boxes that we all leave in the Frigidaire.

He got caught and was suspended for three days!

Ha! that was funny.

Oh, I almost forgot, will the rapture really cause people to go floating up through the air? I'd love to get some video of that! It would be a guaranteed winner on "America's Funniest Home videos".

But seriously........................

[WhatNot]

What He really said was that these were not signs of the end times.

Actually, if we look at the entire passage in context, we'll notice that there are three distinct indicators of time. The first is found in v 6, "the end is not yet". The second is found in v 8,"All these are the begining of sorrows." The third is found in v 14, "then the end will come". Also, I believe the Word is clear in v 24:29 when it says, "immediately after" it is referring to the close of the tribulation, a time period that will be marked by monumental cosmic distubances. See Isaiah 13:10 Ezek 32:7,8 And Rev 6:12-14

[WhatNot]

But wouldn't it be better to prepare for persecution that will probably come to the US in the next twenty years?

Lady, I've been prepared since the day I was Born--Born Again that is.

[WhatNot]

What's UP! Ff--150, long time no replies, oh well, I'll either see you here, there or in the air. God Bless.

[WhatNot]

What's UP! Ff--150, long time no replies, oh well, I'll either see you here, there or in the air. God Bless.

[LadyDoc]

Lady, I've been prepared since the day I was Born--Born Again that is.

Good. The important thing is not that one will be raptured or one will not be raptured, but that one is dedicated to the Lord, even if things don't go our way...

[Cvengr]

Good post,...looks like there won't be any shortage of handmaidens who've let their lamps run out of oil.