[T'wit]

I read the headline and thought it had to do with rapture brought on by reading the Washington POST. This would be such a horrible affliction, nobody could survive.

[kansas_goat_roper]

Don't be fooled by the pretrib rapture fairytale. The rapture will occur after the tribulation and prior to the the wrath of God poured out in the ungody at the 2nd advent of the Lord.

Yes we are not appointed to wrath although the Lord said we would know tribulation and that we should expect it and be prepared for it.

[NYrepub2000]

The rapture, Someone pls. find me this rapture ever mentioned once in the bible????????? This word does not appear once in all the bible.

[Ff--150]

WhatNot!!! Howdy!!!

Keep posting this stuff, would ya? Literally about to actually hit the floor chuckling at these replies.

[PAR35]

I just scanned the story, and I found one questionable statement about the scriptures.

When Jesus’ disciples asked Him about the signs that would be a precursor to His coming and the end of the age His response, recorded in Matthew 24, was:
Wars and rumors of wars
Nation will rise against nation.

What He really said was that these were not signs of the end times.

Mt 24:4-14 are signs that "the end is not yet" (verse 6)

Mt 24:15-18 speakes of the tribulation, shortened, of course, for the sake of the elect. (verse 22)

Mt 24:29-31 Then Christ will come again, not secretly, but so that the whole world knows.

Try reading the Bible rather than stories like this, and you can become a a-mil and you won't have to worry about being left behind.

[LadyDoc]

I think it is absurd that a bunch of fairly affluent American Christians think they will be "raptured" and never have to face persecution, while our Christian Brothers and sisters are suffering persecution and death in Africa, China, VietNam, Indonesia, etc.

You believe in the rapture? Fine.

But wouldn't it be better to prepare for persecution that will probably come to the US in the next twenty years? If this happens, what will you do? complain because God didn't perform a "deus ex machina" to save your little bottom?

[Travis McGee]

Please show me where in the Bible "the rapture" is mentioned.

[WhiteGuy]

So, should I go ahead and mail my mortgage payment or not?

I mean, if this predicted event is about to happen, I'd like to keep hold of my cash.

A guy at work was badmouthing me because I'm Catholic.

He tells me that unless I "come on down" at one of pastor Rod Parsley's "Come to Jesus" sessions, I'm heading straight to H-E-L-L.

I told him that Parsley was a fake, and that he was a splitter.

He got so pissed that he went out during break and keyed my car. He also took a dump on the hood, but he swore it wasn't him.

(Lying is a sin right?)

He's such a hypocrite, I know for a fact that this guy watches "The Osbornes" on MTV and I heard him listening to Howard Stern in his truck one morning.

Some christian.

Another guy thought it would be funny to bring some "special" brownies in and leave them in the breakroom.
We knew that "mr. holier than you" would be all over free food.

Sure enough, old "mr. you're going to hell" ate about half the Tupperware bowl before his shift even started and spent the next 6 hours sneaking back to the breakroom and stealing snacks out of the lunch boxes that we all leave in the Frigidaire.

He got caught and was suspended for three days!

Ha! that was funny.

Oh, I almost forgot, will the rapture really cause people to go floating up through the air? I'd love to get some video of that! It would be a guaranteed winner on "America's Funniest Home videos".

But seriously........................

[Cvengr]

Good post,...looks like there won't be any shortage of handmaidens who've let their lamps run out of oil.