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And there are reasons why we make exceptions to them. Adherence to a rule for the sake of the rule is the way of the Pharisee. When the rule fails to be helpful and instead becomes harmful, we can address the situation. We do this on a case-by-case basis. Just because a bishop bends or waves a rule in one case, doesn't mean he'll do it in another. That is for the bishop to decide. If anyone has a problem with that, they can deal with it by either taking it up with the bishop or minding their own business.

I disagree. A rule is a rule. Where do you stop making exceptions? In looking at one way, you forget to look at it the other way. Take contraception, for example. One might say that a "legalistic" rule prevents one from being a true Christian. One might also want to look at it as a lowering of the faith to make it easier for some people who just don't think following a certain rule is fun. Refraining from using condoms is not a stumbling block to faith.

"I disagree. A rule is a rule..."

St. Paul, in a famous passage, talks about all of the things he would do in order to save people -- he would do one thing to save one, and another to save another.

The Orthodox standard is that of a pious ascetic monastic saint, living "the angelic life." Next to that, all of us fall short and miss the mark, so the question is how we pursue our life-long attempt to get there. There is a combination of strictness and mercy that is the hallmark of good Orthodox father-confessors -- strictness in teaching (as strict as the hearer can bear without going into despair), and mercy in forgiving and allowing for shortcomings (in a way that will encourage and give tools to the faithful to do better in the future.)

The starting point that a father-confessor will take is not with do's and don'ts, but rather with laying the groundwork of a life of prayer, from which ever higher levels of ascetical struggle can be built. Trying to do it in the reverse fashion is like starting a building by constructing the roof first.