St. Paul, in a famous passage, talks about all of the things he would do in order to save people -- he would do one thing to save one, and another to save another.
The Orthodox standard is that of a pious ascetic monastic saint, living "the angelic life." Next to that, all of us fall short and miss the mark, so the question is how we pursue our life-long attempt to get there. There is a combination of strictness and mercy that is the hallmark of good Orthodox father-confessors -- strictness in teaching (as strict as the hearer can bear without going into despair), and mercy in forgiving and allowing for shortcomings (in a way that will encourage and give tools to the faithful to do better in the future.)
The starting point that a father-confessor will take is not with do's and don'ts, but rather with laying the groundwork of a life of prayer, from which ever higher levels of ascetical struggle can be built. Trying to do it in the reverse fashion is like starting a building by constructing the roof first.
Yes, exactly what I was trying to say earlier. Thank you for your much better words.
Yeah, Kosta, what Agrarian says! Besides, if our spiritual fathers didn't show mercy, all the Greeks would still be pagans. :)