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I need help making some very important decisions
none ^ | 07-21-04 | Me

Posted on 07/21/2004 3:37:21 PM PDT by AAABEST

A little over a month ago my dad was diagnosed with inoperable cancer in his left lung. The plan was to go through chemo to try and bring it under control. He has since undergone one round of chemo.

The other day he took a turn for the worse and had to be rushed to the hospital, he was very pale and had to be rushed to the hospital because of shortness of breath.

He now is unconscious and on life support. In addition to having double pneumonia he has several blood clots, one of which is lodged in his lung. The cancer turned out to have spread to his liver and I believe his heart (according to my aunt). He can not breath on his own right now.

This all happened very suddenly, I just talked to him on a few days ago.

Anyway my aunt (his sister who is actually closer to him than I) called me last night to let me know what was going on and said that there was no hope she was opting for taking him off the respirator. I'm not aware of all of the legalities, medical intricacies etc. I told her that as long as things followed the teachings of the church, I would trust any decision she makes. IOW no removing of food and water, last rites etc.

Today I get out of a meeting and have a message from her and the doctor to call them. I call her she has him call me back. It turns out this is MY decision to make, even though I'm not there. I asked the doctor if there is any hope that he could regain consciousness, he tells me that he's not God and that the chances are slim but there is a remote possibility. One of the reasons for his lack of conciousness is all of the drugs they have to administer to manage pain and keep his heart going.

At that point I told him that this simply was not my decision to make. As long as there is a chance that my dad could become conscious and make these moral (and legal) decisions on his own with his own life, I couldn't possibly give this "OK" that they want.

It's not that I don't want to, it's that I simply can't.

In any case his cancer is inoperable and incurable and the doctor said that he's never seen anyone in this condition live more than a few months regardless.

Also, I'm all the way down here in Southwest Florida and he has 2 sisters visiting there from out of state and others that his condition would cause a hardship for. I'm leaving Fri night or Saturday and will only be able to stay in Atlanta until Mon or Tues.

I know I could never give permission to take him off life support if there is a chance he could come out of this, even if only for a short time.

If anyone has any advice or input I would appreciate it. If you want to post prayers that's fine, but I know that nearly all of the blessed people here will be praying for him without my asking whether they are post their prayers or not. It's just the way you are.

His name is Walter.


TOPICS: Prayer; Religion & Culture
KEYWORDS: prayerlist
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To: AAABEST

God bless you and your family. Under the circumstances, I don't see anything wrong with your decision.


121 posted on 08/01/2004 9:37:26 PM PDT by lakey
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To: AAABEST

AAABEST;

(((((HUGS)))))

And TONS of prayers. This is one of the hardest decisions a family member has to ever make. But it is also one of the most loving decisions you'll ever have to make too.

It sounds like your Dad is really sick. It would be so wonderful if he could just wake up and tell you what he would like for you to do. I pray that will happen. But it doesn't sound like thats an option right now.

I have to ask a hard question. Do you want him to come out of his comma for him or for you? If it were me that was the patient, and I were suffering and so sick, being in a comma, in light of what is ahead for him, being comatose might not be so bad, and it is a peaceful way to die. Just falling asleep and all.

But as a son, talking to your Dad again probably seems like a darn good thing right about now. (((((AAABEST))))) How I wish I could make that happen for you. You'll just have to make "holding him" do.

My heart just breaks for you my friend. Which is why you got the hug first thing.

When I worked hospice for a few years, and helped families come to these very decisions, they always came to the right ones. You just need to go see your Daddy. Look at him and hold him. You'll do the right thing for him.

If he's meant to wake up and make this decision, by George he will. IF not, you'll be there to do it.

Just know that our prayers will follow you when you go.

God Bless and may the prayers we send, and the love of our Father sustain you in the days ahead.

We'll be gone for a month. We'll be thinking about your Dad and you. Tons of prayers for ((((((Walter))))))

FRegards, VH&W

PS If we can find internet connections while we are on the road we'll check in. So please ping us with any updates.


122 posted on 08/02/2004 1:38:22 AM PDT by Vets_Husband_and_Wife (Don't be a Girlie-Man... vote Republican!)
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To: MeekOneGOP

Thanks for the heads-up!


123 posted on 08/02/2004 1:39:20 AM PDT by Vets_Husband_and_Wife (Don't be a Girlie-Man... vote Republican!)
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To: AAABEST

My deepest condolences for your family. May our Lord Jesus truly comfort you and your family at this time.


124 posted on 08/02/2004 5:11:32 AM PDT by HarleyD (For strong is he who carries out God's word. (Joel 2:11))
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To: AAABEST

Sincere sympathy on the loss of your dad. Words are not adequate so I'll just offer prayers for him and for you. May you find peace.


125 posted on 08/03/2004 8:43:02 PM PDT by celtic gal
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