Interesting you mention Satan...because this 'Bible' doesn't. Jesus isn't tempted by Satan in this heresy. The temptation thoughts just pop into His head. Here's an excerpt:
"Jesus felt he needed to spend some time in the desert to be clear in his mind which direction his life should take. (2) He went without food for about six weeks. By then he was near to starvation. (3) The thought came to him, "If I am God's Chosen One, all I need to do is to order these stones to become bread." Then he remembered some words from the old books, "People cannot live just on bread. They need God's words as well." (5) Then he had another idea. He saw in his mind's eye the temple in Jerusalem. (6) "Perhaps if I were to jump off the highest point I could prove I come from God? It should work like the song,
"God has friends who only wait
To lift you when you fall;
Soft your feet will touch the ground
Without a scratch at all."
(7) But then Jesus thought again of some other words from the old books, "You must not push God too far." (8) Then his mind formed another picture. This time he seemed to be looking down from a very high mountain on all the countries of the world. (9) Jesus thought, "All this could easily be mine. All I have to do is to be cunning and gain the support of the right people." Jesus quickly dismissed these ideas. He thought "These are the ways of evil. The old books tell us the only one we should try to please is God.
(11) Then Jesus felt at peace. Some of God's helpers arrived to look after him. "
There's no Satan and no angels and guess what else. Jesus goes around preaching about the New World Order. Doesn't that explain everything about this 'Bible'.
"(17) It was then Jesus started to say to people, "Turn your backs on wrongdoing. The New World is on its way!"
The laughable excerpts are from:
http://one.gn.apc.org/Translation.htm#Matthew
Forgot to also mention the female-gender Holy Spirit at Jesus' baptism took the form of a pigeon. Good thing it didn't poop on Him in this version.
" 16) After Jesus had been dipped in the river and was climbing up the bank, there was a sudden gap in the clouds and he experienced the coming of God's Spirit. She was like a pigeon flying down and perching on him. A voice from overhead was heard to say, "This is the one I love and I'm delighted with him."
Actually, on one level, I do like the thoughts popping into his head like that. That IS how Satan works. If we only understood that our bad ideas were Satan speaking to us, we would recognize him much more easily.
"There's no Satan and no angels and guess what else. Jesus goes around preaching about the New World Order. Doesn't that explain everything about this 'Bible'. "
The next tranlation will remove Jesus.
So if they removed Satan completely from Jesus' forty days in the desert, then what did they do to Chapters 1 and 2 of Job, where Satan has, uh, a bit of a role?
"And God was talking to some of his helpers, and Satan strolled in. God said, 'Lucifer, 'sup? Where you been, dawg?"
"And Satan replied, "Y'know. Just chillin'.'"
"God said, 'You seen my man Job? He's hardcore. Nobody like him.'"
"Satan replied, 'Feh. You let me at him, and he'll be hatin' on you in no time, yo.'"
Bleah.
}:-)4