This is a joke, right?
You won't believe this! . . . or maybe you will!
YIKES!
Perhaps the most controversial departure from all other translations is a return to the selection of books which were held in the highest esteem by the early Church in the first two centuries. So, for instance, Revelation is out, the Gospel of Thomas is in.
I see from the review, too, that the Archbishop of Canterbury not only "backs" the translation, but wrote the Foreword:
From the Foreword by Rowan Williams, Archbishop of Canterbury"What would Christianity look like, what would Christian language sound like, if we really tried to screen out the stale, the technical, the unconsciously exclusive words and policies, and to hear for the first time what the Christian Scriptures were saying? John Henson has devoted much of his life to wrestling with this challenge, and has for many people made those scriptures speak as never before-indeed, as for the first time. Patiently and boldly, he has teased out implications, gone back to roots, linguistic and theological, and re-imagined the process in which a genuinely new language was brought to birth by those who had listened to Jesus because they knew they were in a genuinely new world.
John's presentation of the Christian gospel is of extraordinary power simply because it is so close to the prose and poetry of ordinary life. Instead of being taken into a specialised religious frame of reference-as happens with the most conscientious of formal modern translations-and being given a gospel addressed to specialised concerns-as happens with even the most careful of modern "devotional" books-we have here a vehicle for thinking and worshipping that is fully earthed, reconisably about our humanity. I hope that this book will help the secret to be shared, and to spread in epidemic profusion through religious and irreligious alike."
Wasn't there some controversy about this AofC when he got the post? (So hard to keep all the controversies straight nowadays . . .)
Somehow the crowd crying "Give us Barry" just doesn't have the same ring.
Please tell me this isn't for real. Please tell me this is just a bad dream....
>> But in the new version, he says, “My advice is for everyone to have a regular partner.
>>Husbands and wives should strive to meet each other’s sexual needs. . . . <<
An odd way of putting it, but this is a biblical concept. (I Cor 7)
>>It’s not good to refuse a partner.” <<
Husbands and wives are told not to withhold sex from one another, except with consent for short times for fasting and prayer.
But um, not refusing a "partner?" THe use of the word, "Partner" makes this just plain sick, even using "partner" as a euphemism for sex mate, because absent the specific reference to marriage, what does "partner" mean? "Thou shall be date raped?" (Let's not kid ourselves that the use of the word "partner" is used to include gay "sex.")
The A of C is a lunatic.
Rowan the fuzzy does it again ping.
Breathtaking.
The Antichrist is here.
Inspired by Satan.
The Times (London)
June 23, 2004, Wednesday
St Paul urges more copulation for couples in sexed-up Bible
BYLINE: Ruth Gledhill, Religion Correspondent
THE Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, has given his personal backing to a new translation of the New Testament in which St Paul's notorious condemnations of gay sex are deleted and Christians are told to go out and have more sex.
Instead of condemning fornicators, adulterers and "abusers of themselves with mankind", the new version of his first letter to Corinth has St Paul advising Christians not to go without sex for too long in case they get "frustrated".
The translation appears to contradict the authorised King James version which, in a passage in I Corinthians vii, often used to back the celibacy requirement in the Roman Catholic priesthood, quotes St Paul saying: "It is good for a man not to touch a woman."
The new version, which Dr Williams says he hopes will spread "in epidemic profusion through religious and irreligious alike", turns St Paul's strictures against fornication on their head.
St Paul's words now are: "Some of you think the best way to cope with sex is for men and women to keep right away from one another.
"I think that is more likely to lead to sexual offences.
"My advice is for everyone to have a regular partner. Husbands and wives should strive to meet each other's sexual needs. They should submit to one another for that purpose. It's not good to refuse a partner."
The translation also changes the original Greek and Hebrew nomenclature into modern nicknames. St Peter becomes "Rocky", Mary Magdalen becomes "Maggie", Aaron becomes "Ron", Andronicus becomes "Andy" and Barabbas becomes "Barry".
In other passages the translator John Henson, a retired Baptist minister, renders "demon possession" as "mental illness" and "Son of Man", the phrase used frequently to refer to Jesus, as "the Complete Person".
Parables become "riddles" and to baptise is now to "dip" in water. Salvation becomes "healing" or "completeness" and Heaven becomes "the world beyond time and space."
Mr Henson is the translation co-ordinator for ONE, a network of radical Christians that was one of the first organisations in Britain to make the case for "inclusive language", in a 1981 pamphlet Bad Language in Church.
In his foreword to the new version of the New Testament, which also includes the non-canonical Gospel of Thomas, Dr Williams describes it as a work of "extraordinary power" because it is "so close to the prose and poetry of
ordinary life". He writes: "Instead of being taken into a specialised religious frame of reference -as happens even with the most conscientious of formal modern translations -and being given a gospel addressed to specialised concerns...
we have here a vehicle for thinking and worshipping that is fully earthed, recognisably about our humanity."
Dr Williams is himself not known for his use of accessible language, and has been criticised recently for his use of obtuse and arcane theological phrases. In his foreword however, he praises Mr Henson's translation for screening out "the stale, the technical, the unconsciously exclusive words and policies".
DIPPING INTO A NEW TRANSLATION
Mark 1:4
Authorised version: "John did baptise in the wilderness, and preach the baptism of repentance for the remission of sins."
New: "John, nicknamed 'The Dipper', was 'The Voice'. He was in the desert, inviting people to be dipped, to show they were determined to change their ways and wanted to be forgiven."
Mark 1:10-11
Authorised version: "And straightway coming up out of the water, he saw the heavens opened, and the Spirit like a dove descending upon him. And there came a voice from the heaven saying, Thou are my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased."
New: As he was climbing up the bank again, the sun shone through a gap in the clouds. At the same time a pigeon flew down and perched on him. Jesus took this as a sign that God's spirit was with him. A voice from overhead
was heard saying, 'That's my boy! You're doing fine!' " Matthew 23:25
Authorised version: "Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!"
New version: "Take a running jump, Holy Joes, humbugs!
Matthew 26:69-70
Authorised version: "Now Peter sat without in the palace: and a damsel came unto him, saying, 'Thou also wast with Jesus of Galilee.' But he denied before them all, saying, I know not what thou sayest".
New: Meanwhile Rocky was still sitting in the courtyard. A woman came up to him and said: "Haven't I seen you with Jesus, the hero from Galilee?" Rocky shook his head and said: "I don't know what the hell you're talking about!"
As many have already pointed out, this is so extreme as to be a caricature of itself.
In other words, it lacks Satan's customary subtlety.
The 20th century was supposed to be Satan's. It's over. I suspect Satan may be lashing out in desperation as he feels his power waning.
I still can't believe this isn't a joke.
Does he also say to use a condom?
Ping.
}:-)4