Why Catholics Leave the Catholic Church

"There are not over a 100 people in the U.S. that hate the Catholic Church, there are millions however, who hate what they wrongly believe to be the Catholic Church—which is, of course, quite a different thing."

In recent years a great many Catholics have left the Church. The reasons for leaving are varied, but the general trend falls into two categories: disagreements with Church teachings or a lack of interest. A few facts I found were as follows:

In 1997, out of 60 million Catholics, only 25% practiced minimally (yearly confession and regular Sunday Mass) ^[2].
In 1999, National Catholic Reporter conducted a study that showed a general decline in Mass attendance, while at the same time a trend toward more personal autonomy regarding all morals including the increased role of laity in the Church.^[3]
Most Catholics fail to have a firm grounding in their faith. From experience, they only go because they think they must do so. Consequentially, when confronted about what they believe, most Catholics don’t know what they believe or they give a dissenting viewpoint.^[4]
Many Catholics are drawn to Charismatic movements because they want the Church to be a vibrant social institution.^[4]

From these facts it appears that those who associate themselves with being Catholic rarely go to Mass or are able to defend their practice of attending Mass. Furthermore, many think of the Church as being a social institution, rather than a sacred institution. Is it any wonder then that so many leave the Church in the first place?

The problem is partly that of education and outlook. Very few Catholics step back and ask themselves what it means to be Catholic. They simply treat religion as being some “social function” that they must engage within. When the benefits of this functional institution fail to appeal to them any longer, they will undoubtedly cease to engage in it. Therefore, those who have left the Church only to return later will also understand that Catholics cause Catholics to leave.

Many lay Catholics fail to be examples and educators. Frequently, this is because it is “too hard” and we direct them to priests or other religious leaders. Unfortunately, these religious leaders may not always be the best examples, as has been illustrated by the recent scandals within the Church. In actuality, everyone is part of the Body of Christ and the Communion of Saints is required to do their part in ministry to those within and without the Church. We are all called to be saints; subsequently, are called to be examples of Christ to others.

My own story can be given as an example. I am a non-typical Catholic as I was educated in a Lutheran elementary. When I was able to go to a Catholic High School, I felt exhilarated by the fact I would be where I felt God was, in His Church. It wasn’t to say the Lutherans in my life were bad people. I knew many wonderful men and women who taught at the elementary school I attended. However, I felt going to a Catholic institution was a gift of grace. Unfortunately, God’s messengers at the school were hardly images of God’s grace.

Without getting into too much detail, I’ll say that several of them were hardly reflections of any of the virtues the Church expounds. If anything, they were downright mean, treated me like I was some robot for them to control, and the result was they eventually tore my heart out in my senior year. One counselor even went so far as to say to my father that he, the counselor, thought I would become a criminal. I couldn’t understand their negativity. I had done so well in school and they suddenly turned on me.

I’ll admit, I wasn’t the most stellar of Catholics. I didn’t attend Mass as much as I should have. But somehow, I gained the favor of the devout teachers at the High School, which might say something about me. After I left school, I was inexplicably drawn to a Catholic Church and prayed before the Blessed Sacrament and Our Lady. I prayed that God would make me find a way to be closer to Him. I attributed the fact that I didn’t get into more trouble than I did to God and those times I prayed to Him.

Even in those dark times, when I felt God hated me, I still instinctively loved Him. But I didn’t understand why things had changed so suddenly. It wasn’t until I was brought back to be a “full-fledged” Catholic that I finally understood the reason I had left. And once I looked at what the Church really taught, I able to fully accept the Church for what it is, not what people made it appear to be.

I feel my disenchantment with the Church came about because I had never been taught about the mystical aspects of the Catholic religion. Congregations are often taught too much about the social aspect of the Church and how God helps people in the here and now. During my early days in the Church, I never heard stories about saints and sacrifice. That was the problem; I was never prepared to understand that the Church is a sacred institution. What’s worse is that I never met anyone who understood that concept either, so when faced with the question of why I was Catholic I was unable to justify it, because in a sense I never was a Catholic.

To reiterate something I said earlier: Catholics cause Catholics to leave. But Catholics also help Catholics to stay. It all depends on how we are instructed. Because the better we understand the concepts of the Catholic faith the better we can defend our own belief. And the better we understand our own beliefs, the more we can help others understand their beliefs as well.

The sad part is that many “righteous” Catholics have very ungracious attitudes toward people in the Church. They treat “non-righteous” people as being less than Catholic and subsequently alienate them from the Church. These “non-righteous” Catholics, however, are not necessarily bad people. If anything, a great many of them are saints waiting to be instructed. But the problem is they are very hurt spiritually and, because other Catholics drive them away, they fall into the clutches of the devil.

As I explained, the reason I returned to the Church was because I accepted the Church for what it was, a Church of sinners. And all too often, we forget this truth and act just as self-righteous as those we condemn, because we are judging ourselves superior to them. And even if in truth we may be more justified than the “righteous,” we should consider the fact that we are not perfect either. If anything, we should begin to look at ourselves and ask if we could be treading the same path.

Below are a few tips for those who are considering leaving the Church or for those who have left.

Remember that just because you may not like the messengers, it does not make the message any less true. Imagine that you are being sent a love letter from someone who you dearly care about. The person delivering the message may be rotten, but you want the letter because it is from your beloved.
Look for good examples within the Church upon which to focus. For example, all the disciples had their quirks and Judas was one of those who Jesus originally called, but does that mean that Jesus was flawed because He chose them?
We should be thankful that Jesus allowed flawed humans to be his disciples because it serves as an example of hope for all of us. If they could be so flawed and still be close to God, what does that say for the rest of us?
Pray and pity those people who cause trouble within the Church. If we are true Catholics, we should never forget that Jesus called us to take up our crosses and follow him ^[5]. That included being mistreated by the “self-righteous” Pharisees.
Read about the saints and see how they too were mistreated during their lives and try to find a common bond. When you do this, you begin to become purified in your actions by learning patience and humility that comes with accepting trials.
Take the time to actually learn what Catholicism teaches and pray to be guided. When we understand that our problems may be actual graces from God so as to draw us closer to Him, we may better understand what is happening and as a result be able to cope better. In fact, these trials will make us better Catholics if not at least more noble people.

We are called to both the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy. The Spiritual Works include instructing the ignorant and counseling the doubtful ^[6]. But this includes instructing ourselves as well. If we do not instruct ourselves in our Catholic faith, then how can we help others in theirs? A great number of people, because of ignorance, do not realize the treasure that they leave behind. I should know because I myself was ignorant. And even though I felt God was with me during my darkness, I never realized how precious a gift God gave until I began to study and practice my faith completely.

Perhaps this was for the best, because it allowed me to understand the mentality of those who have left. I do not know for sure. But I do know that I have never felt closer to God than I have as a Catholic. To truly elaborate on this would take a book in and of itself. Not too long ago, after doing some research on Protestantism, I began doubting why I was Catholic. But, I came up with two reasons why I could never leave. The first was that I would not be able to rely on the intercession of the saints. In particular, I would have to give up on the great love I held for the Blessed Mother who had helped me out of my darkness. This didn’t make sense because if the saints were up in heaven, then that meant they were closer to God. And if they were closer to God that meant they could better pray for me, one who was encumbered with half my being in the world. So how could I give up that grace? How could I give up their spiritual friendship?

Second, and most importantly, it would mean that I had to give up receiving the Divine Being of Christ in the Eucharist. This made even less sense because St. Paul explicitly states in 1 Corinthians 11:28-29 (New Jerusalem Bible) to discern the Body and Blood when partaking it. Worse, it would mean forsaking the intimacy of actually taking Christ into me. I would be turning my back on Him!

These were the reasons I never considered it further and have never looked back. I can only hope that others see these as good reasons for not leaving or, better yet, for returning to the Catholic faith.