[SATIRE] SCHWARZENEGGER ADMITS PRAISING O.J.

The Borowitz Report via Email ^ | 10/5/03 | Andy Borowitz

[lorrainer]

Updated October 5, 2003

Breaking News

SCHWARZENEGGER ADMITS PRAISING O.J.

Happened on Rowdy Movie Set, Actor Says

The Schwarzenegger gubernatorial campaign took yet another body blow today, as a 1997 interview revealed that Mr. Schwarzenegger effusively praised former football star and murder suspect O.J. Simpson while on a rowdy movie set.

In the interview, the actor reportedly said that he admired Mr. Simpson for his ability "to maneuver his way out of really bad things he is accused of."

Expanding on his theme, Mr. Schwarzenegger said, "If you get accused of terrible things but still manage to get away with them, you will go far in America," adding, "O.J. Simpson is the man!"

Campaigning in Pomona today, the embattled actor sought to explain his praise of Mr. Simpson, accused of murdering his wife Nicole in 1994.

"Yes, it is true, I said I admired O.J. Simpson, but I said it on a rowdy movie set," Mr. Schwarzenegger said. "On a rowdy movie set you will say you admire people you would not say you admired if you were not on a rowdy movie set."

Continuing his explanation, Mr. Schwarzenegger said, "I can't imagine ever saying that I admired O.J. Simpson for murdering his wife, since I am strongly opposed to the murdering of wives.""

At his side, Mr. Schwarzenegger's wife Maria Shriver added, "Arnold has never shown even the slightest intention of murdering me, and I think that would make him a great Governor."

Hoping to put the latest controversy to rest, Mr. Schwarzenegger concluded, "It is true that I admired O.J. Simpson, but I certainly did not admire him enough to grope him."

The Borowitz Report Waste Someone's Time: Forward to a Friend.

[lorrainer]

Well, it's just about this bad...

[Support Free Republic]

 

	Keep Our Republic Free Or mail checks to FreeRepublic , LLC PO BOX 9771 FRESNO, CA 93794 or you can use PayPal at Jimrob@psnw.com
STOP BY AND BUMP THE FUNDRAISER and say THANKS to Jim Robinson! IT'S IN THE BREAKING NEWS SIDEBAR THANKS!

[Torie]

Simply hilarious. It is always hilarious when grabbing a tit is equated with murder and admiring evading the punishment for it through playing the race card.

[Kay Soze]

"At his side, Mr. Schwarzenegger's wife Maria Shriver added, "Arnold has never shown even the slightest intention of murdering me, and I think that would make him a great Governor."

See women can support him and trust him!

ha ha ha funny post.

[Ronin]

Lord love a DUCK!!!

There is no way I would run for public office!

Can you imagine every conversation you have ever had. All the wild and crazy things you said to get laughs and some of the really DUMB things you said coming back to haunt you like this?

This might be the bullet that hits. The racism thing didn't work, the groping didn't work, the Hitler comments were yawned off -- but naturally the OPFOR saved their best shot for last.

I have no idea what this is going to do, but it won't be good. O.J. is poison.

[Kay Soze]

"At his side, Mr. Schwarzenegger's wife Maria Shriver added, "Arnold has never shown even the slightest intention of murdering me, and I think that would make him a great Governor."

See women can support him and trust him!

ha ha ha funny post.

[Torie]

The article is satire Ronin, and unfunny satire.

[cake_crumb]

The Borowitz report huh? The National Inquirer was busy or something? OJ SIMPSON? It's MONDAY. He's supposed to be murdering little old ladies and kicking puppies now!
OJ SIMPSON...ROWDY MOVIE SET....EMAIL NEWS....GEEEEEEEEEZ

[GeronL]

thats as fake as all the other allegations

[Ronin]

This is satire?????

Uh... er.... uh....

*thermonuclear blushes*

[Torie]

If you click on the link you will find this self serving and inaccurate comment: "The brilliant satirical Web site."

[PRND21]

This whole election is satire, it seems.

[Ronin]

I am going to hide under my bed for a while. This is embarrassing.

[lorrainer]

I enjoy good SATIRE now and again. I think the Arnold-accusation thing has gotten out of hand, don't you?

[Fledermaus]

Wait a minute...wasn't OJ found not guilty? Are the whites in California dissing Arnold for admiring OJ? Didn't all the blacks think OJ as also not guilty?

The left wing dilemma shows it's ugly head again. During the OJ trial, the feminazis had to take a back seat to the race hustlers. Then they had to take a back seat to Clinton's pecadillos.

Now the same left denounces Arnold for the same thing they did? I still love the fact Maria Shriver's husband is getting the full Dem-Slime treatment her uncle is so good at.

Payback is he$$.

[Troublemaker]

Wow, using a double murder for satire...funny stuff. I also enjoyed the other funny articles on his web site. You know the ones saying that Trent Lott is going to replace Rush and the one attacking the White House. The best part is the author works for CNN...that's great! (can I now place a sarcasm tag here)

[greydog]

In a related story it was confirmed that that Arnold is a gay lesbian transsexual born from Hitler's genetic experiments..........

[ETERNAL WARMING]

"Yes, it is true, I said I admired O.J. Simpson, but I said it on a rowdy movie set,"

Oh. That's different then. Apparently anything you say or do on a "rowdy movie set" doesn't count.

Anyone who votes for this immoral, stuffed shirt is crazy.

[ETERNAL WARMING]

*thermonuclear blushes*

Ditto. But that doesn't change the fact that he is an immoral, stuffed shirt.

[kingu]

Don't be embarassed, the trollers from DU are likely now sending copies to Drudge, posting it on their website, and racing to give a copy to Code Pink so it can be used in tomorrow's ad. 'News Report confirms that Actor supported suspected former spouse killer!'