Rush Limbaugh's Comeback Strategy

10/2/03 | self

[brbethke]

Rush Limbaugh's Comeback Strategy

As a scandal, the Limbaugh Drug Affair has a reek suspiciously similar to that of the nude photos of Dr. Laura that surfaced when she became too outspoken a critic of Bill Clinton. Nonetheless the story is out there, the critical damage is already done, and since it's almost impossible to fight the kind of overwhelming schadenfreude that is now coursing through the American body politic, Limbaugh would be well advised to skip that battle and go straight to the second principle of political redemption:

Americans love a repentent loser.

Or to put it in more concrete terms: it's called the Betty Ford Clinic, isn't it? And one of the well-known traditional differences between the parties is that, while Democrats typically abuse cocaine and marijuana, Republicans traditionally abuse Johnnie Walker Black Label and prescription meds.

So with this as a guiding principle, here's how Rush Limbaugh can make his comeback:

1. Tomorrow, in his opening monologue, he tearfully announces that he has an addiction, it's out of control, and he's checking himself in to the Betty Ford Clinic. Then he turns the golden EIB microphone over to a guest host, leaves the studio, and the remaining three hours of Open Line Friday are filled with emotion-choked calls from fans wishing him well, talking about their own 12-step experiences, and praying on-air for his speedy recovery.
    
2. Sometime next week, his attorneys quietly cut a deal with the prosecutors and cop a plea, bargaining it down to treatment, probation, community service, and a hefty fine.
    
3. In about a month, Rush re-emerges from treatment and in a move that stuns and surprises everyone, makes his first public appearance on Oprah, with Donovan McNabb on one side and Bret Favre on the other. Favre talks about how hard it was to kick Vicodin. Limbaugh makes a moving and tear-filled public apology to McNabb, saying, "It was the drugs talking." McNabb, grudgingly, forgives him. Oprah finally recognizes that Rush is a victim, lays hands upon him, and absolves him of all his sins.
    

Of course, it may be not be this simple. Rush's redemption may require additional appearances on Dr. Phil or Larry King. But if Rush plays this right, he can be back on ESPN by the start of playoffs, along with his new best friend, golf buddy, and co-host, Donovan McNabb.

Because, hey, there ain't no way the Eagles are making the playoffs...

[knowtherules]

That would be Johnnie Walker Blue Label please.

[jocon307]

Sounds like a plan to me!

You should be in Public Relations.

[Pukin Dog]

I have a better suggestion. STFU.

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[dennisw]

Only problem he's not on pills any more.

[Southflanknorthpawsis]

I stopped listening to Rush over a year ago for reasons that are not important, but...........

I still think he's a good guy and this attack makes me so sad.

This whole drug thing is being played as if he's some kind of loser druggie.

I bet there are plenty of people who know of someone who unintentionally becomes addicted to pain killers.

It's so easy to sit in a zone of a pain free life and judge.

I have a brother that cannot get through his daily life without narcotic pain drugs. In his case, they are prescribed for him, but if they were'nt, I don't know what he would do. (he has severe vascular pain and even lost his lower leg due to a brown recluse bite).

If, BIG IF, Rush is hooked on pain drugs it is not for kicks. He probably got that way because he badly needed pain relief.

It just makes me sad.....period. There, but for the grace of God.............

[knowtherules]

Why don't you go grab a vallium?

[MrsEmmaPeel]

Why not come out swinging, say he was framed - that to the media its the seriousness of the charge and not the truth that matters, that's the fault of a Vast Left Wing Conspiracy

[ladyinred]

I am one such person myself, I daily live on pain meds due to a condition I have. I am fortunate enough to have a specialist who understands that I need it in order to have any quality of life. This is not always the case, and it needs to change. There is NO Reason for anyone to live in pain, yet some doctor's are so scared of addiction or whatever, that they won't help their patients.
I was thinking today about this, what would I do if I didn't have such a good doctor? I understand this all to well, and if Rush needed the meds, he should have got them from the doctor, but who knows if he could have or not? I have seen all too many times the attitudes in the medical profession concerning Chronic pain sufferers and it needs to be addressed!!!

[Not_Who_U_Think]

I can't see why he should need to cut a deal, I've heard nothing about a criminal investigation. As a buyer he's not the one they're interested in. I guess a possession charge is possible though.

But as others have said, I have a hard time squaring this with his amazing level of performance. Whenever I've taken painkillers my brain is so foggy I have a hard time carrying on a conversation, much less have the clarity to do a 3 hour talk show at the highest level.

One thing that I admire a great deal is his ability to continue to perform as he lost his hearing. On another planet, I was in the radio biz, and the ability to hear yourself is critical. Just changing brands of headphones can ruin your edge - but he managed to carry on almost as if nothing was different. I couldn't have done that, and he gets a tip of the hat for being able to.

[fourdeuce82d]

Sorry to hear about your brother- best wishes for a recovery, as much as is possible.

you wrote- If, BIG IF, Rush is hooked on pain drugs it is not for kicks.

I have no idea if the story is true or not- but the amounts being discussed are so huge...I don't think pain management could be the reason. Actually, since the numbers work out to something like 90 tabs/day...it sounds like a crock. Beyond the effects of Hydrocodone, the acetaminophen (9grams/day?) would cause you liver to turn green, glow in the dark, explode, and catch cancer.

Hope it's all a crock, and hope your brother's health improves.

[ConservativeStandUP]

You just cost me a keyboard! LOL

[feedback doctor]

In the mid 90s I worked at a televison station. A local athlete displayed some very bad, unsportsman like behavior. Our sportscaster commented on it, with video, and said the kind of behavior was unacceptable. End of story. NOT!

The next day the NAACP called the station to demand an apology. (Said athlete was African-American). The sportscaster said he had nothing to apologize for, race was not the issure, behavior was. The next day the guy is called in to meet with General Manager, and the NAACP. He is not allowed to talk, most of the talk is threats of picketing from the NAACP (and other actions), and groveling by the manager. The NAACP and the manager "write" the sportscasters apology. On the way out the door the head of the NAACP whispers to the sportcaster, "Maybe you'll learn your place, boy." The sportscaster never went on the air again. He walked out that day, and ended up persuing a business idea that he had put on the back burner while he had his "TV" career. He now is quite comfortable financially. Oh, BTW, that "bigoted" guy, his great-great-grandparents were slaves.

[Southflanknorthpawsis]

I have seen all too many times the attitudes in the medical profession concerning Chronic pain sufferers and it needs to be addressed!!!

Amen !!!! With all that is available, no one should suffer needlessly.

[Southflanknorthpawsis]

Thank you for your kind wishes. He's had a very rough time for about 9 years and an unrelated problem has kept him in the hospital for nearly 7 months (off and on) for the past 2 years.

He is currently in the hospital, but is being sprung on Saturday. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! He was admitted on July 6th and we nearly lost him. But praise God, he is doing much better.

I agree that this could very well be a crock. Either that or it is partly true and has been blown way out of proportion.

[WackySam]

I have a better suggestion. STFU.


Ditto.

[Chuck N]

In a worst case scenario...even is Rush Limbaugh were addicted to prescription pain killers, what is the big deal? Lots of people have had drug problems. Look at Bill Clinton, a true, real world COKE HEAD and they pay an idiot like Bill CLINTON to spew his trash lies and liberals respect him. Check out his nose. He's a doper and he had access to the Nuke Briefcase!!! Rush Limbaugh is a talk show host and not a neuro-surgeon. His job doesn't require him to be unmedicated. The drugs he puts in his body are his business. That is a personal problem. I don't hear any kind of incoherency in Mr. Limbaugh's talk show. As a matter of fact, he's an absolutely articulate speaker and his ideas are nothing short of brilliant. I personally love his perspectives. I think these attacks on him are carefully planned to try to destroy his credibility. I believe there is little chance for that because Rush Limbaugh is too strong and intelligent of a person. Even if he was addicted to pain killers, I wouldn't hold that against him. Maybe he's in pain! I wouldn't think less of him for taking pills. I second the motion and will also show my support by subscribing to RUSH 24/7. GO RUSH!!!

[Skip Ripley]

Why don't you give the man a chance to fully respond to these allegations before you call him a "loser" and plot his resurrection?

I don't think that's asking too much...

[workerbee]

Tomorrow, in his opening monologue, he tearfully announces that he has an addiction, it's out of control, and he's checking himself in to the Betty Ford Clinic.

Tell ya what -- you hold your breath and I'll watch out for those flying pigs. 'K?