Sex-Starved Marriages - Women Struggle to Cope With Spouses' Low Sex Drives

ABC News ^ | 09/26/03 | John Stossel

[cajun-jack]

just check out www dot anywebcam dot com real people doing real stuff..free 30 day trial..you will be surprised..

wife and i have been married 32 1/2 yrs..still have sex at least 3 times a week...she gets "hers" at leat 5 or 6 times every time...might be cause we are coonasses or it might be that we still find each other "hot" after all these years.

[Vigilantcitizen]

"I'm not sure hormones have as much to do with this issue as simply that reality bites."

Yep. And the reality is, you ain't going to be happy with each other if it's always "The same old, same old".

I'm still fairly young at 36, but I've learned it takes work from both sides to make a long duration, committed relationship work without boredom becoming a problem, and both sides share the blame when things go wrong.

[mlmr]

Diabetes causes nerve damage.

[Afronaut]

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in a perfect order, spotless, clean. So's the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you."

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Marty asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door." Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on
the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married'!"

[TrappedInLiberalHell]

I realize that no one is perfect, but it is kinda difficult to get excited about your spouse if she/he weights 300 lbs. and does absolutely nothing to change their appearance.

So you're the guy who ended up with my ex-wife...(just kidding!) Actually, she would spend 20 hours straight sitting around playing Everquest. Turns out she was having an online affair with someone she met through the game. It was pretty humiliating. I'm a big believer in trying to make a marriage work, but it takes two, and she was making no effort whatsoever, not to mention her reneging on that whole 'love, honor, cherish' thing.

[Concentrate]

When one partner is unhappy in the bedroom, it often creates tension that spills into other aspects of the marriage.

It's true. ABC says so. In fact, if you're not copulating like bunnies daily, there is no point in raising the children, much less honor any other agreement.

[Newbomb Turk]

When we were younger and thinner, sex was fairly abundant. But we've both gained weight, and I'm convinced that is the primary source of the problem.

Testosterone production, the male sex hormone is really knocked down by any extra body fat.

My doctor convinced me to loose a few pounds and it made a huge difference in my attitude and overall life.

[sarasmom]

Again, your previous marital problems dont seem to be related to low male partner sex drive.
I dont see how your bad marriage relates to this topic.
Please bash your ex, and women in general, elsewhere.
I loved my former husband. I could not endure an unnatural married lifestyle.
He exhibited a "normal" and compatible sex drive, prior to our actual marriage.
From 60-0 in 60 seconds.
It took me many years after our divorce to finally understand that he separated love from sex.He could not have sex with the woman he loved.
He had several "girlfriends" after our divorce, and had a "normal" sex life with them.He didnt even like them, so he could enjoy sex with them.
Sadly, he finally married one of the women he "hated", and she eventually murdered him.
I still mourn him.

[Vigilantcitizen]

"*LOL* sometimes you gotta exchange coupons for backrubs...."

Both of you are right. Back rubs are good "bartering" currency and can be used to make things "spicy" and different.

[ChemistCat]

Awww. That's wonderful.

[CaptBlack]

And the two couples names are Barrett and Cummings? ROFL

I thought the exact same thing!!
LOL!!!

[wardaddy]

that's very sad...I'm sorry.

[Concentrate]

"I value myself, um my sexuality as a woman. And to have it turned down over and over repeatedly says you have no value as a sexual being. … I need to feel loved. And I feel loved through sexual contact."

Who would want to sleep with a thing like that? Ugh! What man could get a woodie for that? No thanks!

[Newbomb Turk]

I would venture to guess that non-masturbators are in the minority, for both sexes.

90% of Americans masturbate and the other 10% are liars.

[Tunehead54]

Ladies. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

---

Ducking now!

[wimpycat]

That's just fine, but careful you don't swing too far in the other direction and expect to find someone with no "issues" whatsoever. All people are flawed in one respect or another, and just to make it more challenging, people change over time, and not at the same rate or in the same ways.

Happily married people are prepared to put up with a certain amount of imperfections and "issues"; some larger and some smaller. That's why they're happy.

[Darksheare]

Where did I bash women in general?
This is an example from personal experience.
Please go bash men in general elsewhere.

[ChemistCat]

My husband can't stand it that I'm not answering you. :-)

Really, on a scale from one to digging-loved-ones-out-of-rubble, not getting backrubs much isn't very high on my list of worries. :-) He works, goes to school full time, after 24 years of serving his country, and does much of the housework because I can't. He does rub my hands and feet when the neuropathy is bad. I'm not sure when he'd have time to give me backrubs. It was meant to be humor, 'kay?

[Neets]

Darksheare has a right to post what he wants, wherever he wants ....

and he is my friend and and he has never bashed me as a woman.

[ChemistCat]

I think you're misunderstanding him--the concept of a wife who actually wants more affection than a husband will provide her is obviously very painful to him. On that level, yes, he's on topic.

But he has also made his own bed. Maybe what he's reading here will give him the strength to get out and find a more positive place for himself. He's already moved from "absolutely won't get divorced" to "It's something I'm working on quietly."

I'm sorry for your bad experiences with your late ex. You and I both know it doesn't have to be that way if people will be honest with each other and take responsibility for what they really want out of life.