Aging Actor Tony Randall Fantasizes About His Funeral

http://ap.tbo.com/ap/breaking/MGA1QFTLZKD.html ^ | Sep 24, 2003 | Joe Carey

[SamAdams76]

I'm surprised this guy is still alive. I thought he was dead years ago. Wasn't he the first metrosexual?

[lawdude]

"I would have on Tony Randall. = I would have bet on Tony Randall."

And you would have been right. I recall he acknowledged his homosexuality some years back but wanted a family anyway. I hesitate to guess the parentage of his daughter. That's their business.

Maybe Webb Hubble?

[TrebleRebel]

...and I thought my heart would break when I was told Raymond Burr was gay...

[mrustow]

Tony Randall is a classic - this is a cheap shot by him, but I have always been a fan.

Randall is 'Mr. New York.' I've bumped into him at the opera and classical music room at the W 4th St Tower Records, on the Subway, etc.

He is an oldschool NYer - hopelessly liberal, in that NYC way. I wish he wasn't, but he clearly is.

His is a cool guy and a class act, notwithstanding this cheap shot.

Tony Randall rides the subways? For real?! In 18 years in this town, I have into several actors and one TV personality on the street -- mostly on MacDougal Street (for non-NYers: where the best coffee is, or was ten years ago), in the Village, but I have NEVER seen anyone fasmous (or anyone famous, either) on the subways. If you've actually seen him riding with normal folk, I will forgive him his asinine remark, and a lot more. (BTW, do you remember what line, year, and time of night it was? If I repeat your story, I promise to give full attribution -- I herd from this NYHitman, er, I mean, HitmanNY).

[HitmanLV]

I too have run into him on the streets of Manhattan more than once.

Mr. Randall is a class act, and genuinely Mr. New York. I had 1/2-joked days after 9-11 that Mayor Rudy should have given 5 minutes of prime time TV at 8pm in NY for Mr. Randall to calm the nerves of NYers with some strengthening words, and keep their spirits up, in a Felix Unger kind of way!

I have bumped into Mr. R a few times. Once on the subway, once in Tower Records on W 4th & Broadway, shopping for records, just like everyone else. Gracious, classy, a true gentleman, and a fine face of NY to the world.

His wife is very attractive and very nice, much younger than Mr. R (I dare say approaching 4+ decades younger), and quite the buxom fresh faced young lady, I admit. With any luck, you may bump into her someday! ;-)

I'm not as big as you (5'8", 180lbs - I look kind of like a muscular wiseguy you would see as an extra on the Sopranos) but my favorite literal 'bumping into' a celeb was when I crashed into Mr. & Mrs. Rodney Dangerfield a few years back, and he was great even though I was clearly shocked at how young and beautful his wife was. Rodney & Mrs. R were wonderful, no harm done, though Rodney scuffed my shoe and felt bad about it. I let it slide - I finally gave him some respect!!!

[RichInOC]

For some reason, a gerbil pyrotechnics display seems apt.

[freekitty]

That's is niot a very nice thing to say about our President and Vice President.

I would think Mr. Randall would have more class. After all, President Bush and Vice President Cheney are no way like the horrible trashy Clintons and Gores.

[Hildy]

OMG...I wish I had never read this. Honestly, because I really liked him. This is just absurd.

[Cicero]

I should think he would have more important things to think about when contemplating his death. Good grief, 83 years old and he hasn't grown up yet.

[Cicero]

Well, now I wonder if the slimy interviewer didn't more or less lead him up to this and practically put it into his mouth. I'd rather believe that, come to think of it.

[ChemistCat]

Ah well, my kids haven't done that...we think that only what we've seen is normal, I guess.

[Hildy]

SO FREAKIN WHAT..He's a Democrat...HE'S FROM NEW YORK FOR GOD'S SAKE. So you don't agree with him. Big deal. I've had fantasies about Clinton like that... He comes into my store, while making a surprise visit to my town. As he walks in, I coyly whisper in his ear, "How does it feel to be forever known as the Impeached ex-President who sold his Country out?" All the media hears me. He turns red and looks like he's going to hit me as his secret service pulls him away from me. That's my fantasy.

My point? Why destroy Randall's whole life because of this one stupid fantasy that you don't agree with??? He was and is a great entertainer. The Odd Couple is one of the all-time best comedies.

[HitmanLV]

I started writing this post and got carried away. These are just some celeb run-ins I have had in my 34+ years growing up in NYC. I hope you enjoy them!

Tony Randall. I first bumped into Mr. Randall at Tower Records years ago, in the mid-1980s, I was in high school. I have seen him in there twice, I think. He was very nice and gracious, engaging. He was, as you may expect, shopping for classical and opera music!

The subway was around 1997 or 1998. Late morning (11am or so), going uptown on the 6 Train, I got off at my stop, 51st & Lex. He kept going uptown with his wife. Tony looked a bit more frail than I remembered him (he was in his late 70s at the time) and she sat next to him, holding his hand! Charming! She is a young, goodlooking woman, quite buxom I noticed (OK, OK, I have a habit of noticing that, what can I say?)

[My Dad used to work in midtown, and he would often go to church in Times Sq, about once a week, and on holy days of obligation. He would see MANY stars at church there regularly, in afternoon mass, in the 50s and 60s. I'll ask him for some names, they escape me at the moment. Must have been nice going to church on a weekday and seeing several actors and actresses being good practicing Catholics, going to a 12:00 mass for no reason other than wanting some spiritual guidence, huh?]

I'm surprised you have lived in NYC for 18 years and not bumped into Mr. R. He is very approachable and used to get around a lot, though I imagine he gets around less these days since he is over 80 now. I have seen him several times, and spoken to him on occasion.

I lived downtown. Prince & W. Broadway, for 34 years, not far from McDougal (where I went to St Anthony's Grammar School) so I know the area you mention very well. It's a good area to catch celebs milling about.

Memory Lane Time: NY is a great place to meet celebrities, more so than LA. Most of my interactions have been brief, nothing fancy at all. It helps to keep your wits about you, as often you will recognize the person after they have passed by. Some memorable celebs I have seen or met, and this is going way back to when I'm a kid:

Ryan O'Neal - Filming 'So Fine' near my grammar school, around 1980. We were very young. An obnoxious a$$, even to some kids he meets. Shameful.

Woody Allen - Spotted him MANY times in the upper east side, when I was in high school at Regis High, 1982-1986. I never spoke to him. He isn't very approachable, but is unmistakably Woody, what can I say? You will identify him from 2 blocks away if he is coming your way!

Me and my friend Carl also spotted Woody in the late 1990s near his old club, where he used to play the clarinet on Monday nights, one evening after work. We were hanging out talking, he walked by us and excused himself, and made his way down the street.

By the way, maybe a year ago, Carl bumped into Paul & Mrs. McCartney on 2nd Avenue shopping, and had some nice words with them. He said she was shopping, and Paul was being a very macho guy, paying for what his young bride wanted and lugging it around. It goes to show you, you can be a genuine macho appealing male, worth a billion dollars, who can have any woman you want, and you should gladly lug around your sweetheart's junk and pay for it with a smile!! TRUE LOVE!!!

Dom Deluise - AWESOME! Filming 'Fatso' also in the early 80s or late 70s. Delayed filming to talk to the kids, sign autographs, make funny faces, etc. Genuine and gracious - wonderful!

Al Lewis & Fred Gwynne - I put them together only cause they are both known for Car 54 and The Munsters. Al Lewis had a restaurant on Bleeker St for a while and would always be there, hanging out, talking with old ladies, kids, or anyone who came by. He would talk your ear off! Fred Gwynne lived on Prince Street about 2 blocks from me and I'd see him at our local Grand Union supermarket on occasion, or just on the street. He was on Broadway at the time, I think. VERY nice, gentlemanly, and my old grammar school was around the corner and he would hang and talk with the kids on occasion, recognizing him as Herman Munster, he would do the Herman laugh for the kids, and otherwise be a 'star' for a bunch of 3rd-6th graders. Class act. AWESOME GENTLEMAN!

Hugh Grant & Liz Hurley - Me and my pal Carl stopped for a late-night cannoli and cappuncio downtown after a long days work, Winter 2000, I think, just before they split up. We walk into Brunos, LaGuardia near Bleecker, about 20 mins before closing but they know us and let us in to serve us. Only one other couple in the store. Yep - a scruffy looking, unkempt and unshaved Hugh Grant, and a pockmarked, matted & oily haired, painfully thin Liz Hurley wearing coveralls. They looked like 2 bums, frankly. We didn't bother them, but they seemed like nice folks, and Hugh seemed to want in our conversation, which was funny. They were not obnoxious or bossy in any way.

Danny Aiello & Mrs Aiello - A running joke in NYC. Mr. A goes out onto the streets of manhattan, often in his warm up suit, with his wife, and just waltzes around town 'being' Danny Aiello. If you stop and talk with him, he will talk your ear off. Invariably, Mrs. Aiello gets sick of it (I guess she tags along to keep him out of trouble) and tells him to get moving! Funny!!! I have discussed my mom's seafood tomato sauce with him, in fact, and he seemed genuinely interested as only a FBI with a thick waist could be!

Mickey Dolenz and his bride - Holy crap, Mickey sure looks old -I am a big Monkees fan and bumped into him in Times Sq back in March 2002 or so, right before I left NYC. His new wife is very young, very goodlooking, leggy and buxom -like a Victoria Secrets Model. Nice folks, he was in a hurry, though.

Regis Philbin - We went on his show with Cindy Garvey back in 1984, in the audience as the Regis Philbin Fan Club. He got a huge kick out of it, kept us after the show, hung out with us for about 10 minutes just chatting. We were young teens - he was hanging out, joking, very engaging. Class act.

Val Kilmer & Ellin Barkin - They were dating at the time, mid 80s I think, and I met them at my old video club New Video. I was maybe 16 at the time. They were having difficulty choosing a film to rent, and we made some small talk about movies. I recommended a movie which they ended up selecting. Nice folks (I hoped they liked the movie).

Papa John Phillips - Met him wandering around SOHO alone, he was surprised someone my age recognized him. Very nice, not nearly the space cadet I figure him for. He pointed out he used to live downtown and likes the area a lot. I think I caught him on a good day, & I think he was surprised anyone my age (I was in my 20s at the time) recognized him.

Christina Applegate - Around Spring 1991 or so, I am coming back from Law School for a long weekend and I'm in Grand Central, I see a young lady really struggling with her bag. I'm a nice guy, and see the problem is the strap is 1/2 caught in the wheels and she is just pulling and getting frustrated. I say 'Hang on, maam,' kneel down and fix it for her, all the while having no idea who she was. She was very thankful and nice, genuinely moved that I randomly came by and helped her, and then I noticed just how goodlooking she was. As we part, it registers who she was, and is getting some attention from folks as she walks away. Much better looking than on TV, very nice to me also (after all I helped her out and didn't even hit on her).

Bruce Springsteen - Summer 87? He has just married that model and me and my brother and his friend bump into them coming to pick up their car at a garage on W3rd st between McDougal and 6th Ave. He was kind of curt with us, though he did sign my friends autograph and posed for pictures while they were getting his car. Shorter than I expected also. His wife was nicer and very pretty. After he left, the garage attendant told us he tipped him only a buck! Hahah!

Ric Flair - awesome awesome guy. Was attending a Wrestling Convention in Summer 1991 as a guest of honor. We met him in a hotel lobby. Nice suit, classy, and gentlemanly. Signed our autographs and thanked us for being fans. WOW!

Dave Thomas - Bumped into him in Times Sq, walking around, early 1990s. He seemed pleased that I recognized him, as I was a HUGE fan of SCTV. We even talked some Bob Hope, since I am a fan and I know he is a huge fan. He hung out with me for no reason except to chat for about 10 minutes before we parted.

Sandra Bernhard - I'd see her all the time in downtown NYC. She is hard to miss. Not very approachable, I have never spoken to her.

Amanda Plumber - Tony Award winner and Christopher Plummers daughter, actually a neighbor of mine, lived in my apartment building 2 floors down. Very nice, very sweet, very engaging. The only celebrity I can say I 'know' - that is, if I bumped into her today she would know my name, where she knew me from, and we would have a more meaningful few words than if I met a random star. Nice young lady!

Joey Lauren Adams, Ben Affleck, Kevin Smith - Bumped into all three after an advance screening of their film 'Chasing Amy.' Me and my pal Joe were the only ones who recognized them, even though everyone had seen the movie minutes before. All three were VERY nice - JLA's voice is not as shrill as it records on film, and she was much better looking (healthier, more vital) than she appears on screen, and Affleck was a very engaging and friendly man. What surprised us was that we would be talking to them, then (since we aren't obnoxious) realize they have someplace to be, begin excusing ourselves and wishing them luck. Every time we tried, Ben would strike up the conversation again, drawing us into the dialouge. It was funny - we ended up hanging with them for about 20 minutes before we got away, and to this day, my pal Joe insists Ben had a crush on one of us. WEIRD!!!!

Frank Sinatra: This one I have no memory of, but my mom tells the story. In the early 70s, I'm maybe 4 or 5 years old, and Mr. Sinatra would film in NYC and would be quite adamant that he would have to eat his italian food in one of the oldschool (ahem) Italian restaurants on Houston by McDougal and Sullivan. Anyway, we lived nearby. My mom is coming back from the grocery store with me (a tyke) and bumps into Mr. S. She doesn't know it's him. He sees her and me and makes some small talk, and asks which of the restuarnts he should go to today. She says they are all good, wondering what this idiot is talking with her for. He finally asks her if she knows who he is, and she says no. He announces he is Frank Sinatra, and my mom is like, well, "whoop-dee-doo, who cares?" like only a sassy Italian woman from the old country could do. He laughs it up a big one, and gives me a kiss cause I was a cute kid! I've been a Sinatra fan ever since!

Harlan Ellison: A$$hole of the highest order. Avoid this Science Fiction motormouth 'legend!'

Mario Cuomo - I'd bump into him maybe once every 3 weeks at the Barnes & Noble in Citicorp Building. I think he worked upstairs, I worked next door at 900 Lex at the time. Nice man, warm and engaging (though politically an ass).

Ed Koch - There was no missing Ed back in his day. I must have seen him 100 times downtown while he was mayor during his 12 years. He took the subway to work every day, still lived in his Village Townhouse a lot (shhhh..it was a secret!). If you would be milling around SOHO or the Village regularly on weekends, you would see Ed a lot. Nice guy, always 'in character' it seeemd!

An actor from That 70s Show - he is the 'cool' character in tinted glasses on the show, I don't know the man's name. He must have a place with his wife or girlfriend in downtown NYC. This is a curious case: he appears to believe he knows me for some reason. I'd see him on occasion at a deli on Prince & Thompson, in each case he agressviely makes small talk with me 'Hey man, how you doing?' 'I haven't seen you in a while, man!' and other chit-chat, though I have never met the man before. Strange! I must resemble someone he casually knows, but it's very funny to me! Nice, nice guy!

NOW MY FAVORITE STORY:

Lynda Carter - GORGEOUS and gracious, beautiful features, flawless body, I can go on and on! I met her outside of Trump Tower around 1990 or so. Since she superficially has a look that captures my attention anyway (ahem!) I notice this statuesque, raven haired beauty waiting for a car or a cab or something right by Tiffanys or Trumps. As I get close, I realize who she is and I lose my composure, not get animated but more shocked. She makes eye contact with me, this little fellow with a jaw dropping walking over to her like a zombie in Night of the Living Dead, flashes a wonderful smile of acknowledgement, extends her hand and says 'Hello.' I'm like 'Oh my God, Lynda Carter!' She smiles and laughs and agrees! I say I've been a fan of hers and love her work, and she thanks me. Then for a reason I'm still unsure of, I blurt out, 'I don't want to embarass you, but I have to tell you, you are the loveliest woman I have ever seen. In fact, you were my first crush on Wonder Woman in the 70s, and that was even before I knew what an attractive woman was!' She seemed shocked that I said this and I was afraid I said something to offend her, instead she leans down (Lynda in heels is over 6' I'd say, me in shoes, 5'8" I'd say!) to me and whispers 'That...is...sooo....sweeet!' and gives me a kiss on the cheek! I've been on cloud 9 ever since! ;-)

BEST STORY THAT'S NOT MINE:
A coworker of mine went to see a movie alone one weekday evening. Two african american couples seated right behind him, in a very empty theater, were being very loud and making a bit of noise. As they movie began, they didn't let up. He turned around and firmly, but nicely, asked them to quiet down. They were embarassed, apologized, and were quiet for the film.

One man in the couple? Mike Tyson!

If you want more stories, let me know! Ah, memory lane!

[mrustow]

Don't let me rain on your parade. Keep 'em comin'!

Most of the celeb run-ins I had were during the late '80s and early '90s, because that's when I used to hang out in Manhattan. In '94, I moved out to the Rockaways, and would commute to crazy places -- with rare exceptions, anywhere BUT Manhattan. Brooklyn, North Jersey, The Bronx, Jamaica, Queens. (And since 2000, I've been a stay-at-home dad.) Mostly college adjunct teaching. However, in 1997-98, I did moonlight as a security guard at, among other places, the big Toys'R'Us store at 34th & Sixth. In 1998, the NBA All-Star Game was held at Madison Square Garden, down the street from work. During dinner break, I went to get some gelati on Eighth Avenue (Polish bakery, I believe), and on the way back, noticed a compactly built black guy in a gray plastic warm-up suit walk by, who looked just like Mike Tyson, only smaller than I'd expected. Then I realized, IT WAS MIKE TYSON! I'm sure it was, because of the game. But the man who passed me was all alone.

I'm going to sign off now for the night, but will look again for your posts tomorrow.

P.S. Does "FBI" stand for "foreign-born Italian"?

[Timesink]

Fred Gwynne lived on Prince Street about 2 blocks from me and I'd see him at our local Grand Union supermarket on occasion, or just on the street.

Would that be the Grand Union on West Broadway & West 3rd St? Man, what a dump that was! And such snappy service! Nothing like standing in line for 45 minutes to buy a carton of milk.

Not that there was anything much better nearby, unless you wanted to do all your shopping at Dean & DeLuca. ("Ah, one quart of milk. That'll be $7.65, please!")

[MinuteGal]

I loved your "personal glimpses" post, Hitman. Much appreciated. Lively writing, also.

Are you sure you never met Walter Winchell? LOL.

Leni

[Timesink]

In 18 years in this town, I have into several actors and one TV personality on the street -- mostly on MacDougal Street (for non-NYers: where the best coffee is, or was ten years ago), in the Village, but I have NEVER seen anyone fasmous (or anyone famous, either) on the subways. If you've actually seen him riding with normal folk, I will forgive him his asinine remark, and a lot more.

Supposedly, Michael Bloomberg and Shepard Smith both take the subway to work. This is what they claim themselves; I've never run into either of them. (They do both work in places with extremely convenient subway stations.)

I too have not knowingly run into that many famous people in Manhattan, mainly because I never recognize them. My entire life has been someone standing next to me saying, "Hey, look! Did you just see him/her over there? That's so-and-so!" and me responding, "It is?" For some reason, if I'm not somewhere where I expect to see someone famous, they'll blend right into the crowd in my eyes unless there's something quite unique about their looks.

[HitmanLV]

Don't let me rain on your parade. Keep 'em comin'!

Thanks, I'll write some more later or tomorrow and post them! I'm sure many NYC Freepers have stories too!

...and on the way back, noticed a compactly built black guy in a gray plastic warm-up suit walk by, who looked just like Mike Tyson, only smaller than I'd expected. Then I realized, IT WAS MIKE TYSON!

Mike Tyson is much shorter that most folks think he is. In the 'Tale of the Tape' he is usually listed as 6', though by many accounts he is closer to 5'8". I'm sure the man you met was Tyson. Boxing legend & lore has Tyson, while coming up the ranks, get in his warmup suit and go to Bed-Stuy, in the cold winter, and beg for money, just to get mean and nasty for fight night. That's the champ!

P.S. Does "FBI" stand for "foreign-born Italian"?

Very close! FBI is 'Full Blooded Italian!'

[HitmanLV]

Would that be the Grand Union on West Broadway & West 3rd St? Man, what a dump that was! And such snappy service! Nothing like standing in line for 45 minutes to buy a carton of milk.

Yea, the market was at W. Broadway & Bleecker I think, not W. 3rd, but thats only one block south so we are talking about the same place. And you said it! Only the old Pioneer market (this is taking me way back to the 1970s) on the NE Corner of Bleecker/Minetta & 6th Ave was worse. It's a 'Banana Republic' now. It was a dump, plain and simple. One of the floor managers was a super guy though - a hunchbacked gentleman who was always so nice and friendly. He was the kind of guy if you looked at seemed to be scowling all the time, until you spoke with him, and he was a nice guy!

Not that there was anything much better nearby, unless you wanted to do all your shopping at Dean & DeLuca. ("Ah, one quart of milk. That'll be $7.65, please!")

Yep, that market was the only one nearby, especially after the Pioneer closed. The only other one nearby was a D'Agonstino's on University & 11th or so, way to far to walk.

As for Dean & DeLuca, I can't stand that place. It's only for imitation NYers and Posers, if you ask me. After all, who would be so gullible to pay $8 for a quart of milk? You do get that neat D&D bag though, so everyone on your way back home would know you were shi-shi! ;-)

[HitmanLV]

Leni,

Thanks, I'll post some more! And nope, I never met Walter Winchell, but I did meet Matt Drudge after his only live, studio-audience broadcast of his Fox News Channel show, Jan 1999.

They overbooked the live audience and didn't let us in, but ended up making room for everyone. It was fun! Michael Moore was a guest and the crowd hated him! Haha! Lucianne Goldberg was there, and she and Matt hung out for like 45 minutes afterwards, not rushing to leave, hanging out, talking politics, and signing autographs. Nice evening!