Head of Red Lobster Replaced After All-You-Can-Eat Failure

Associated Press ^ | 9/24/03 | Richard Gibson

[Sir_Ed]

"Dunno. The Chinese buffets seem to make it work."

We've got one of those Chinese buffets here in town, and it is one weird place.

The staff literally gets replaced EVERY week! We go there about two times a week, and every week there is a new manager and new waitresses...it's spooky! I finally asked one of the few people who spoke a little bit of English where everybody went that was there the week before and he said "They miss their villages."

And not a single one is an Oregonian, nor have they ever lived in Oregon. I asked one of them if the buffet is the same one as the one in Medford, and he just stared at me, I said "You know, Medford, 30 minutes away?" and he said he didn't know where it is. I don't think any of them lived in Oregon before they got their jobs, and I dunno, it's just weird!

But the food is sure good, I don't see how they make money...they have crabs, prawn, crayfish, salmon, ribs, really expensive food, and lots of it, all for less than $8.00.

Ed

[thepizzalady]

My thought exactly. Read the headline 3 times, and still envisioned some sort of Frankenstein monster lobster.

[Ichneumon]

Golden Coral tried this a few years back, and it was a short experiment. A buddy of mine and I managed to eat 9 plates a piece one night. I think it was only $14 then. No way did they even come close to making up their cost.

I ate 10 lobster tails at a buffet once. But then, I was about 20 at the time and had a metabolism that burned off any quantity of food with no problem. Wish I could still say that...

[Ichneumon]

If they would learn not to overcook their fish they would do more business.

They've gotten better at that in the past couple of years. Or at least the ones around here have.

[Diddle E. Squat]

"Red LobSTER!"

"Red LobSTER!"

[natewill]

Now a very well prepared lobster dish is another matter. My wife and I did spend over $100 one evening for an all-you-can-eat lobster celebration. It was my way of telling my wife how much I love her.

"I love you, honey. Here's a plate of fresh steamed sea cockroaches"

[Ichneumon]

Crab is too difficult to eat (you have to work for it)

That's why I generally skip Snow Crab, even though I enjoy all types of seafood. On the other hand, when King Crab is available, ooh baby... It's more expensive than Snow Crab, but a) it tastes better, and b) it's bigger, so each leg or claw segment gives up a much larger chunk of meat. Great stuff.

[Ichneumon]

Dunno. The Chinese buffets seem to make it work. Some have snow crab legs and you can eat as many as you want.

Yeah, but they have 99 other kinds of food for you to fill up on also. Not many customers will fill up on nothing but crab.

But if a restaurant is stupid enough to have an all-you-can-eat crab-and-only-crab special...

[Ichneumon]

At a minimum, a restaurant must prepare their food better than I can.

Since restaurants have preparing and serving food as their very business, it always amazes me how many of them can't even manage to do it with minimal competence. I mean, many dishes seem to have had the flavor surgically removed... How in the heck do they *do* that?

[natewill]

So if FR opened a restaurant, what dishes/cuisine would we offer?

[natewill]

So if FR opened a restaurant, what dishes/cuisine would we offer?

[Wacka]

Isn't squab young pigeon?

[Wacka]

I worked at a Denny's ~20 years ago when coffee was 40 cents a cup. The manager told us it cost them 3 cents, that's why they offered free refills. There's no way they would lose money on coffee. Imagine what the profit margin at Starbucks is nowadays.

[strela]

Darden Restaurants Inc. Wednesday said it had replaced the head of Red Lobster, its biggest chain, after an all-you-can-eat crab promotion went awry.

I don't suppose my observation that "a fish rots from the head down" would be particularly welcome at this juncture, would it?

[Tall_Texan]

Several years ago, an "all you can eat" Chinese buffet opened down the street from my office. I and several co-workers went during the Grand Opening week. Although the food was edible, I quickly lost my appetite as I watched, all around me, tables full of grossly obese people shoveling-and I mean shoveling- food into their mouths as fast as they could swallow. And they went back for plate after plate.The sights were so disgusting, I never returned to the restaurant.

I used to have a roommate that weighed over 350 lbs and I could see the palpable look of fright from managers whenever we walked into a buffet restaurant. One time we were at a pizza buffet run by an Asian man who came out after the second trip to the buffet and announced,

"That's all you can eat."

My friends argued that "all you can eat" was generally the descretion of the customer, not the restaurant.

But the guy persisted with his heavy accent,

"Yea. the sign say 'all you can eat'. Well, that's all you can eat."

I guess it all depends on your translator.

[KneelBeforeZod]

here in california there are tons of "hot pot" places. And a foul place called "Todai"

you cook at your own table on a little grill...but its all you can eat for $17-25...

all you can keep down maybe is a better description. but endless piles of chicken, seasoned chicken, lamb, pork, seasoned pork, beef, seasoned beef, sushi, random fish, crab, lobster sundays, salads, and even creme brulee

[Tall_Texan]

And not a single one is an Oregonian, nor have they ever lived in Oregon. I asked one of them if the buffet is the same one as the one in Medford, and he just stared at me, I said "You know, Medford, 30 minutes away?" and he said he didn't know where it is. I don't think any of them lived in Oregon before they got their jobs, and I dunno, it's just weird!

I'll bet they're all still voting Democrat in Oregon, though!

[KneelBeforeZod]

Homer: All you can eat- hah!

Lionel Hutz: Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film, Neverending Story.

Homer: Do you think I have a case?

Lionel Hutz: Now Homer, I don't use the word "hero" very often. But you are the greatest hero in American history.

---

Lionel Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, in your own words, please tell us what happened after you and your husband were ejected from the restaurant.

Marge: We pretty much went straight home.

Hutz: Remember, Mrs. Simpson, you're still under oath.

Marge: We drove around until 3:00 in the morning looking for another open all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant.

Hutz: And when you couldn't find any?

Marge [weeping]: We went fishing!

Hutz: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do these sound like the actions of a man who's had ALL he could eat?

Fat Jury: [murmurmed agreements]

Fat Jury Man: That could have been me!

[stands2reason]

I worked at Red Lobster myself many years ago...Gaaaa, the drugs you could find at that place---unbelievable. Is there a full-service restaurant in America where you can't get hard drugs from the first cook AND the bartender?

[Ichneumon]

I used to have a roommate that weighed over 350 lbs and I could see the palpable look of fright from managers whenever we walked into a buffet restaurant. One time we were at a pizza buffet run by an Asian man who came out after the second trip to the buffet and announced, "That's all you can eat."

Sounds like Louie Anderson's "Chinese Buffet" comedy routine. Anderson is a large, overweight stand-up comedian whose signature is a hilarious bit about him being kicked out of a Chinese buffet.