Posted on 09/23/2003 6:48:59 PM PDT by carlo3b
~Saying good bye~
Dealing with loss, and surviving...
Learning to live with death, divorce, absence, separation, and change. Escaping uncertainty, fear, loneliness, bitterness, emptiness, anger or hate.
Grief, and how to cope, is far too difficult a topic to stumble upon with simple words. No one, least of all me, could possibly understand the full range of pain, or the depth of emotion each of us feel at that dreadful moment when we experience a real loss. Dealing with the loss after all, is a vital first step on the long journey to healing. Each of us must confront this necessary and painful process to discover our own way to continue.
Accepting the loss of someone or something is the first step to healing, hope, and future happiness.
With any loss or life altering change, we must accept our emotions. We have to allow ourselves to face the inevitable truth, a sorrowful fact that something dear to us has ended, or someone we love has departed, and nothing will ever be the exactly the same again. That is the hardest part, taking the first difficult step, is facing the facts.
We must develop an understanding with the new reality. We have to accept the truth, and with the truth we can prepare to begin again.. We must start over. There has to be a time to grieve, and a time to mourn. Fear of change is the hardest part, but it is a beginning, and we must begin again."Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed."Grieving, is our tribute to true love.
-Michael PritchardFinding a way to say good bye doesn't mean that we have to learn to forget. Our loved one will never be forgotten, nor must we rush to resolve what the loss has meant. Love lasts forever. Falling in love takes time, and it grows. Slowly, and carefully we allow ourselves to fall deeply in love and finally, with passions and emotions aside, we discover the warmth and gentleness of enduring and everlasting love.
True love will be in your heart forever, but pain of loss doesn't have to. What we must learn is to survive the emptiness, the absence, the silence... We need to to learn to live on with the memories of better times, and find our peace in our everlasting love..
Our loved one may have departed this life. They have not abandoned us, they remain in our pleasant memories. But, they have advanced us into a better place.. in eternity there is no pain, there is a place were they are at peace. We will meet again.. in that peaceful place."We cannot change anything until we accept it."Mourning is forever, there is no real ending point, no time limit. It requires work, and time. It does get better. It does become livable. But the experience of a profound loss, changes us in profound ways. Love held you together in life, and it will hold you together after things change. Little things remembered will trigger moments of sadness, but it will also bring back a warm memory of a happier times. We have to give balance to those strong but competing forces. Strolling down memory lane can bring a tear, but it will remind us of that deep and abiding love that only a very few ever experience. How fortunate you really are, to have lived in the rarefied air of true love...
-C. G. Jung, Psychological Reflections"If you have loved once, you can and will again.. Only a true lover can find love in all it's hiding places"Mourning, and missing are a natural and personal process that only you can set in motion. It cannot be rushed and it cannot happen without your participation. But eventually, and strangely, everything begins to come together, pieces fit and are found that seemed to be forever missing. One day, without notice a soft light begins to emerge and a whisper of life sprouts.. life will return, and you will find peace..
-C J Morelli"People only see what they are prepared to see."Regret, is the longest and loneliness road to heartbreak, bitterness and defeat.
-Ralph Waldo EmersonOne of the most difficult experiences one can confront, is that of a sudden loss. The one that didn't have to be. Someone taken, at once.. and forever. No one is prepared for that. All we can to do to protect ourselves against those unavoidable but tragic happenings, prayers help, but actions are better.
Everyone has to protect themselves against the potential, maybe even the probable, or is it, the eventual... LOVE my FReeper FRiends, love is what is important, showing and accepting love today, NOW, will save the agony of regret tomorrow... and forever..
However, the loss that arrives unnoticed, and sleeps in your bed, and eats at your table, the one that avoids confrontation, and says nothing much at all. I speak of the cruel loss of omission.. Allowing a love to die slowly, malnourished.. loss that comes from the pain of neglect.... Love today as if there will be no tomorrow...
Living with loss is difficult enough without having regret. Most of us take life and living for granted, and why not, what could change.....I love you...
By Chef Carlo J. Morelli, Falling Leaves from the Diary of a Single dad
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds: "What does love mean?"
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca - age 8
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny -age 7
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that when they kiss." Emily - age 8
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen," Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6
"There are two kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them." Jenny - age 8
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day." Noelle - age 7
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still pals even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine - age 5
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is more handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. If you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget," Jessica - age 8
An author and lecturer once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most loving child. The winner was a 4 year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."
Maybe we should ask these kids to vote, their insight is awsome!! Take care carlo.
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4
Oh Jeeeshh! AND THEN WHAT?
WoW! What a talent this young man has. I was so wrapped up in the story that the abrupt ending slightly confused me for a moment.
It is a wonderful and healthy gift to be able to relese your feelings and emotions in written words. Bless you for your touching post.
That's beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing. -sniff-
Best wishes to you, Carlo.
Whenever there is rain, flowers will inevitably bloom. Whatever the dark days befall upon our lives, soon there will be a day that gives birth to promises... It's our duty to our families, our friends and our God that we make each day worth his sacrifice..
Lest we foreget our promise to ourselves to live to honor the memory of those that advance us into heavens eternal life... GOD BLESS YOU...
It's always darkest before the dawn
when your world is weary, when all is dark,when dreams die and fade away, and all of life is stark,
take heart in gentle love, for she waits in the wings,
and where she walks, fairies dance and angels sing,
though you cannot see her, she weaves a silken touch,
leaving footprints in the sand, sprinkling spells and such,
lighting the dampened corridors, the dark corners of your mind,
leaving you breathless, bewildered by her kind,
goodness glints in her eyes, hope is in her arms,
and all you've ever dreamed of, rests sweetly in her charms.
~J. Blagojevic
Footprints in the Sand
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it. "LORD, You said that once I decided to follow you, You would walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times of my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed You most You would leave me."
The LORD replied, "My son, My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
Author: Margaret Fishback Powers
I wouldn't necessarily suggest anything - just be there for that someone with compassion, nonjudgementalism, and a shoulder for them to lean on.
That special someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop, and is always there to wipe away your tears.
Someone who makes you believe that there really is hope and there truly is
good in the world.
The one and only, who convinces you that there really is an
unlocked door just waiting for you to open it.
Have you kissed them lately.. I mean really kissed them and told them how very much they mean to you.. Have you told them lately that you loved them????
Isn't this a good time to say..... I LOVE YOU
.. and I do my FReeper FRiends..
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