Posted on 09/23/2003 6:48:59 PM PDT by carlo3b
~Saying good bye~
Dealing with loss, and surviving...
Learning to live with death, divorce, absence, separation, and change. Escaping uncertainty, fear, loneliness, bitterness, emptiness, anger or hate.
Grief, and how to cope, is far too difficult a topic to stumble upon with simple words. No one, least of all me, could possibly understand the full range of pain, or the depth of emotion each of us feel at that dreadful moment when we experience a real loss. Dealing with the loss after all, is a vital first step on the long journey to healing. Each of us must confront this necessary and painful process to discover our own way to continue.
Accepting the loss of someone or something is the first step to healing, hope, and future happiness.
With any loss or life altering change, we must accept our emotions. We have to allow ourselves to face the inevitable truth, a sorrowful fact that something dear to us has ended, or someone we love has departed, and nothing will ever be the exactly the same again. That is the hardest part, taking the first difficult step, is facing the facts.
We must develop an understanding with the new reality. We have to accept the truth, and with the truth we can prepare to begin again.. We must start over. There has to be a time to grieve, and a time to mourn. Fear of change is the hardest part, but it is a beginning, and we must begin again."Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed."Grieving, is our tribute to true love.
-Michael PritchardFinding a way to say good bye doesn't mean that we have to learn to forget. Our loved one will never be forgotten, nor must we rush to resolve what the loss has meant. Love lasts forever. Falling in love takes time, and it grows. Slowly, and carefully we allow ourselves to fall deeply in love and finally, with passions and emotions aside, we discover the warmth and gentleness of enduring and everlasting love.
True love will be in your heart forever, but pain of loss doesn't have to. What we must learn is to survive the emptiness, the absence, the silence... We need to to learn to live on with the memories of better times, and find our peace in our everlasting love..
Our loved one may have departed this life. They have not abandoned us, they remain in our pleasant memories. But, they have advanced us into a better place.. in eternity there is no pain, there is a place were they are at peace. We will meet again.. in that peaceful place."We cannot change anything until we accept it."Mourning is forever, there is no real ending point, no time limit. It requires work, and time. It does get better. It does become livable. But the experience of a profound loss, changes us in profound ways. Love held you together in life, and it will hold you together after things change. Little things remembered will trigger moments of sadness, but it will also bring back a warm memory of a happier times. We have to give balance to those strong but competing forces. Strolling down memory lane can bring a tear, but it will remind us of that deep and abiding love that only a very few ever experience. How fortunate you really are, to have lived in the rarefied air of true love...
-C. G. Jung, Psychological Reflections"If you have loved once, you can and will again.. Only a true lover can find love in all it's hiding places"Mourning, and missing are a natural and personal process that only you can set in motion. It cannot be rushed and it cannot happen without your participation. But eventually, and strangely, everything begins to come together, pieces fit and are found that seemed to be forever missing. One day, without notice a soft light begins to emerge and a whisper of life sprouts.. life will return, and you will find peace..
-C J Morelli"People only see what they are prepared to see."Regret, is the longest and loneliness road to heartbreak, bitterness and defeat.
-Ralph Waldo EmersonOne of the most difficult experiences one can confront, is that of a sudden loss. The one that didn't have to be. Someone taken, at once.. and forever. No one is prepared for that. All we can to do to protect ourselves against those unavoidable but tragic happenings, prayers help, but actions are better.
Everyone has to protect themselves against the potential, maybe even the probable, or is it, the eventual... LOVE my FReeper FRiends, love is what is important, showing and accepting love today, NOW, will save the agony of regret tomorrow... and forever..
However, the loss that arrives unnoticed, and sleeps in your bed, and eats at your table, the one that avoids confrontation, and says nothing much at all. I speak of the cruel loss of omission.. Allowing a love to die slowly, malnourished.. loss that comes from the pain of neglect.... Love today as if there will be no tomorrow...
Living with loss is difficult enough without having regret. Most of us take life and living for granted, and why not, what could change.....I love you...
By Chef Carlo J. Morelli, Falling Leaves from the Diary of a Single dad
It was the reason that I sat and wrote this today.. dealing with grief is overwhelming in a time like this.. give them what I wrote in a week, it may not do the trick, but it will start the process.. I pray.. I know the pain of loss and as I wrote in this message you have to begin to begin...
I pray for everyone who's going through difficult times and need a little love and support from their FReeper FRiends. We are all here for you whenever need us.
You're a very special man, Carlo. Take it from one who knows.
Go ahead and curse to God he can take it he has broad shoulders.
I've walked through many a valley with God and unfortunately, I have'nt always performed like a hero.
His grace is sufficient.
I have been blessed in so many ways, and being surrounded with wonderful folks here on FR is all that anyone could ask for.. Thank you for your kindness and stay close, perhaps drop a line now and then and be sure to visit our website to pick up a recipe or 2, and a bit of ramblings from yours truly.. :)
Poor dear.. I am happy that I may add a little comfort into an otherwise troubled day.. but tears were not my goal. I as a man, of course, I never.. repeat NEVER cry, so I wouldn't know about that stuff.. (/crossed fingers)... :o)~
Oh my how I know how loosing someone can hurt everyone in it's destructive path..Been there, done that... See above post #103
Yes indeedy.. Got it!! *<]8^)~
Thats my boy...blush Yes indeed, he is a fine writer, actor, and concert pianist. If you haven't seen this..notes to myself, on September 11, 2001 you are in for a shock. There is a set of these guys..I have a 17 year old in his 2nd year at Lamar Univ.
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