Geek Eye for the Luddite Guys

FORTUNE ^ | Monday, September 22, 2003 | By Grainger David

[ScuzzyTerminator]

Geek Eye for the Luddite Guys
The experiment: Let loose three tech experts in an average family's home. The result: gizmo nirvana (well, almost).
FORTUNE
Monday, September 22, 2003
By Grainger David

Ted Larson arrives at geek headquarters smack in the middle of the much-awaited season premiere of UPN's latest Star Trek show, Enterprise. The former chief technical officer at an Internet startup, Larson sports blue jeans, a white Tech TV T-shirt, and loafers with white socks, and is carrying a large, tattered FedEx box that contains his own homemade, gyroscopically stabilized, self-balancing robot.

The other geeks introduce themselves. Dean Heistad, 36, is a director of technology in the information technology department of Time Inc., FORTUNE's publisher. Paul Ross, 32, owns Sound Integration Singular, an audio/video store in Coralville, a suburb of Iowa City. Larson, 37, details his own stellar geek credentials. His favorite geek movie is Videodrome, starring Debbie Harry; his robot, which he designed with a friend from robot club, balances using a gyroscope, a two-axis accelerometer, and motor feedback. Few others have figured out how to do it, he boasts.

Larson turns the robot on. A row of green and yellow lights begins blinking. Suddenly the three-tiered, Leaning Tower of Pisa-esque contraption stands straight up and starts scurrying around the room like R2-D2 gone berserker. "All the robot guys at the robot fair were like, 'Whoa!' " Larson says of his recent trip to the San Francisco Robot Expo. " 'No way! I can't believe you got that to work!' "

The geeks have arrived.

This is no ordinary reunion of the nerds. These geeks—as different from nerds as orcs are from trolls—have been assembled as part of an audacious experiment: Can they deliver digital happiness to a small part of America and enable FORTUNE to ride the success of the hit reality show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?

Ride? Make that improve on. In the show, a straight guy gets new clothes, a redecorated apartment, a real haircut, and personal grooming tips. Yet in real life, it's pretty clear that guys and their families aren't looking for cleaner bathrooms and matching belt-shoe combos, but for gadgets. Plenty of gadgets. In the last quarter, Best Buy saw same-store sales rise almost 8% from the previous year; Wal-Mart, Target, and Kmart are also aggressively pushing into consumer electronics. But get some of these gadgets into your home, and Best Buyer's remorse quickly sets in: Did I buy the right DVD player? Why won't the wireless access point work with the PC? Do I have a PC? Which got us to thinking—fashion is fun and all, but wouldn't it be better if the Fab Five were a team of super-tech-savvy geeks who could solve these real problems?

Sure it would. So we assembled a Fab Three, headed by Heistad, and paired it with the most typically tech-less family we could find: the Burkes of Sterling, Va., who consist of a salesman father, a stay-at-home mother, and two small children. Heistad grilled them on their tech needs—really, all they wanted to do was send digital pictures of the kids to Grandma. Heistad came back with a shopping list that would get them that, plus a home theater, a wireless network, new computing, a tricked-out music system, and GPS positioning capabilities. FORTUNE's requirements: The products needed to be practical, easy to use, fully installed, basically idiot-proof, and very, very cool. We'd pick up the bill for the Burkes, paying a set media rate when companies offered it, retail when they didn't. (We let the geeks pick their own uniforms, though: They chose The Matrix: Reloaded T-shirts and Tevas.)

For three days the Fab Three took over the Burkes' home. And at the end, it was nearing digital nirvana. But, O, Fortuna! It is not so easy being geek.

From the Oct. 6, 2003 Issue

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[Arkie2]

Now this is a show I could get into!

[Congressman Billybob]

You bet. As soon as this show is scheduled, I'm there. And my family will make every effort to sign up for this. LOL.

Congressman Billybob

Latest column, "Lessons for Iraq from General Washington, Major Andre, and Der Fuhrer Adolf Hitler," discussion thread on FR. Article is also on ChronWatch.

[4mycountry]

Sweet!!

[VOA]

bump

[Little Pig]

The big problem with this idea is that they got geeks, not techies. It needs to be "Techie eye for the Luddite guy". They got two executives (geeky, maybe, but neither has had his hands "dirty" for several years), and one uber-geek who borders on Asperger-level, and could probably design a better remote than the ones they spent 3 days failing to configure, or at least add legs to the ones they had, so it would come when you called (hey, a remote that would never get lost, what an idea!). The problem is that none has been in the trenches of real-world tech, either ever or not for a long time, and so they have no idea how most things work. They spent three days half-assing the setup of a lot of neat crap, without taking the time to explain to the homeowners how it worked or why it made things better, to say nothing of what to do when the inevitable crash happened. They did what they would do at their own home, counting on their ability to scrape through when it didn't work right later. Too bad these poor people don't have that ability. Not to mention they forgot to install the alarm system these people will need, now that their house is such a tempting burglary target.

[Arkie2]

I love Mail Call,American Chopper, Junkyard Wars etc. In fact, there are only a few series I bother to watch anymore. This one sounds like it has promise.

[Little Pig]

Forgot to add: They gave these people a fish, when they should have taught them HOW to fish.

[shezza]

I'm drooling. Mmmmmmmm...technology.....

[lorrainer]

[FourPeas]

I'm a reformed geek; Mr. FourPeas is a really old ultra-geek. Initially, the whole idea sounded intriguing. After reading the article, I can't imagine anything more boring. Between the two of us, we've attempted enough upgrades/installs/implementations/whatever of various technologies to understand, if not lived through, all the struggles that these "geeks" face in the show. I just can't understand why I'd want to watch someone else go through it.