Posted on 09/22/2003 8:03:35 AM PDT by twittle
Like most aging potheads, I adored "Cheech and Chong" movies when all we had was Mexican dirt weed to maintain a mellow.
The original poster boys for NORMAL cracked me up with their dopey antics in East L.A. Who could resist a brand of humor that came with a cloud of cannabis smoke?
The pair rocked for a decade and banked major bucks before federal thugs put the screws to Mary Jane and told a generation to "Just Say No."
By the mid-80s, Cheech and Chong had gone the way of Hope and Crosby. Today, however, the two are on very different paths. Tommy Chong raised a hot-looking daughter, whose claim to fame involved appearing nearly naked in a caveman film. Cheech Martin, meanwhile, proved savvy and now enjoyed the spoils of the entertainment industry.
Cheech has become a TV mainstay. He's the ideal sidekick against the aging, but still dashing, Don Johnson in "Nash Bridges." Cheech has also parlayed his character into several decent flicks, including "Tin Cup," and "Dead by Dawn."
In short, Cheech has gone far considering half his brain got fried in the 70s.
Life has been a bit hazier for Chong, who now faces a nine-month stint in federal prison for peddling pot pipes over the Internet.
You heard right. The federal boys charged with keeping watch over terrorism took time out from the search for Bin Laden and went after a hippie icon. I wonder if John Ashcroft sleeps well knowing he has caged a 64-year-old for selling bongs?
If you don't see something wrong with that picture, you're higher than Jimmy Hendrix my friend.
Then again, maybe we should praise the ever-vigilant watchdogs at Patriot Act Central for capturing another dangerous criminal and saving the nation from an imminent threat.
All I'm saying is karma has done a number on the pair. One of them will cower in fear during "shower time" at Lompoc, while the other gets steady work in Hollywood.
All the same, Cheech's latest flick "Once Upon a Time in Mexico," is a federal offense. The film should simply go up in smoke.
"Once Upon A Time In Mexico" is a horrible movie that wastes the combined talents of the always sexy Salma Hayek, the normally rock solid Willem Dafoe, and the extremely watchable Johnny Depp.
Nothing works in a story that involves a Mexican coupe thwarted by a Mariachi player. The flick has no plot beyond a liberal use of bullets, blood and complete senselessness.
Depp plays a somewhat unstable CIA operative, who plots and kills and plots and kills and eventually hires El Mariachi (Antonio Bandaras) to assassinate a renegade general bent on seizing control of the government.
Mass killings, silly shootings and stunts beyond the level of Neo from "The Matrix" follow in absurd portions.
In short this film sucks worse than Ashcroft's piano playing. Nothing to see here folks.
Until next time, Mr. Hernandez has left the theater to troll the Internet for something useful like pictures of Asian babes "loving long time."
Nickey Hernandez is a former private investigator who hopes the War on Terror makes more sense than the War on Drugs.
He almost wandered to the refrigerator and failed to finish the article.
Um, what article?
Where are the twinkies?
Pirates of the Caribbean was a lot of fun.
The absence of a healthy sexual adolescence and a non-existant sense of humor causes a lot of damage when growing up. It causes some very strange behavior. Like seeing cold stone granite breasts as a danger to the state, and arresting Tommy Chong.
OTOH, if this is being orchestrated by Chong & Co. to get nine months of free PR promoting their new film soon, dopers get the last laugh on Ashcroft.
Given that the article is from Vail Trail, the author of the article probably is the proofreader (and editor, and printer and ...).
And yes, I would feel a lot safer if Ashcroft would pull all his people off of Porn and marijuana and put them on counterterrorim for the time being.
Time enough for cleaning up porn and drugs after he has made sure we aren't gonna have Anthrax or Ebola or U-235 scattered over us.
So9
Despite his politics, I hope he at least gets nominated for Best Supporting Role.
They both blew some big dope.
Well, there are a lot of useful idiots out there who think an expanded police state is a good thing. There are even a lot of "conservatives" who are too ignorant to realize that the Constitituion was written to prevent such state actions rather than to advocate them.
Tommy Chong, James Trafficant, and the like.....pay their fines, hire pleasant attorneys, are pleasant to the help, and don't throw feces at the judges.
The perfect criminals for the system. Of course this is entirely a zero sum gain regarding the needs of our nation and this needs to be explained to the Justice Department in a completely unambiguos way.
Better to Flash-Bang and shoot Eagle Scouts than to keep us safe from our real enemies. Our enemies know this and they have studied us long and hard.
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