Elton John at Harley like engine oil in water

By now I'm assuming that Harley-Davidson has figured out whom to fire for putting Elton John in front of 150,000 of its best customers as the 100th anniversary party's grand finale.

"No, of course not," said Harley spokeswoman Amy Alarupi. "No one is going to lose their job over this."

How about a forced transfer from the Juneau Ave. office to the Juneau, Alaska, outpost?

There's nothing wrong with Elton John that being The Rolling Stones instead wouldn't fix. Anyone who says he was a good choice for these leathery bikers is still stuck in last week's mind-set that it's unpatriotic to say anything unflattering about Harley-Davidson or its party.

Harley threw a fantastic bash. It was fun, it was peaceful, it came off with surprisingly few mishaps and serious crashes, and it showcased and enriched Milwaukee. Plus, the biker babes were primo.

But final impressions count, and Elton John belting out his pop hits for a Harley crowd Sunday night was like mixing engine oil and water. Witnesses said people were streaming out of Veterans Park with each new song.

Can you imagine a beer-fueled Harley rider trying to dance to "Don't Go Breaking My Heart?" Didn't think so.

You like to see fans holding up cigarette lighters during a concert, but not with the idea of burning down the stage.

Elton John is close to the right age to headline for Harley riders, and the right weight, too. Being gay does not make him a bad match for the crowd, although the idiot concert-goers using words like faggot to express their disappointment would probably disagree with that.

But his music is all wrong for the audience. He's a diva in pants who speaks not at all to the rugged, rebellious, road-hardened rockers who ride Harley motorcycles, and those who pretend on weekends to be those things. He's Metallica at German Fest, Carole King at Metalfest, and a tie score at the All-Star Game.

The problem, as you already know, was the tremendous citywide guessing game leading up to the concert. Harley threw us into a frenzy by saying the performers would remain a mystery until they took the stage. We spent weeks speculating about every major act - dead and alive - who might show up.

Harley is lauded for its marketing genius and for knowing its customers and how much they like the Steppenwolfs, ZZ Tops and George Thorogoods of the world.

Yet it gave them Tim McGraw, a country singer crooning sweet love songs, and Kid Rock, who nobody heard of until he hooked up with Pamela Anderson. The average Harley rider has saddle bags older than this guy.

And, finally, Elton John as the headliner. I was at a family reunion that night and we were groaning at the television when he came on, and feeling fortunate that we didn't have to fight traffic and wait hours to buy beer and hot dogs to see this mismatch in person.

Bo Black must make it look easier than it really is to put the right bands in front of the right crowd. Harley may want to snap her up if Summerfest sends her packing as expected.

I wanted to ask Elton John's New York publicist, Fran Curtis, how the star thought the show in Milwaukee had gone. She didn't call me back Tuesday.

If you're Harley and you're throwing the party of the century, you'd think someone would have raised his hand at a staff meeting and said, "Excuse me - Elton John?!"

Because you can tell everybody this is your song, but that doesn't make it true.

You know things are bad when Movie Critic Richard Roeper is goofing on you:

There were better options for Harley's hundredth

September 3, 2003

BY RICHARD ROEPER SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST

One of the great things about going to a pop music performance is you never know when something might go horribly, memorably wrong and weird, whether it's Jim Morrison dropping his drawers in Miami, Elvis falling into a hysterical laughing fit while singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" Courtney Love disdainfully flashing fans or Fred Durst screaming creatively disgusting obscenities at Hawthorne Racecourse.

I mean, what makes a better story: reminiscing about the time you saw Frank Sinatra in concert and he was in fine form--or being able to boast that you were there on that legendary night in Hoboken when he was booed?

(Obviously we're not talking about genuine concert tragedies such as the fatal stabbing at Altamont, the stampede at the Who concert in Cincinnati or the deadly fire at the Great White performance last winter. If you were at one of those debacles and you escaped unscathed, you don't look back and laugh, you look back and thank your lucky stars.)

Another weird chapter in pop/rock history was written last Sunday night in Milwaukee--not so much for what happened onstage, but for WHO was on stage.

Not that it was the Who, mind you, or should I say the half of the Who that's still alive. Actually, Daltrey and Townshend would have been an appropriate choice; in fact, if the concert organizers had gone with the Who in the first place, they wouldn't be facing all this second-guessing now.

Besides, it would have given fans of Abbott & Costello a chance to have conversations along the lines of:

"Who's on first?"

"No, they're the headliners. Who's not first. First some other bands come on, then Who's next."

"Great album. But are they next or last? And who's on first?"

"No, Who's on last!"

But Daltrey and Townshend were nowhere in sight at the closing night concert of Harley-Davidson's 100th birthday festivities in Milwaukee. Nor were any of the other biker-friendly acts that were the subjects of hopeful rumors. In one of the most amazingly wrongheaded pairings of entertainer and audience in modern history, the headline act was none other than Elton John.

Can you feel the love tonight?

Harley-Davidson's first mistake was in not announcing the acts for Sunday's show in advance. The attempt to create an intriguing buildup also guaranteed that the rumors would swirl out of control, and fans would almost certainly end up disappointed unless the Beatles reunited. As one biker told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel last week, "I want Dickey Betts and the Allman Brothers, and Jerry Garcia back with the Dead."

Sure, no problem. And while we're at it, how about Jesus riding in on an Ultra Classic Electra Glide and delivering a closing prayer as well?

That same story in the Journal Sentinel was dead right in noting that biker favorites and rumored headliners such as Led Zeppelin, Meat Loaf, Bruce Springsteen, the Rolling Stones, AC/DC, the Eagles and U2 were already booked for the weekend or were highly unlikely to appear for other reasons, and that "music industry sources strongly suggest the mystery act will be Elton John . . . ."

Nevertheless, many in the crowd were deeply flummoxed Sunday night after the increasingly corpulent Dan Aykroyd, the 30-years-past-their-prime Doobie Brothers, the too-soft Tim "She's My Kind of Rain" McGraw and the self-parody that is Kid Rock surrendered the stage to the man who has worn gaudier jewelry than Kobe's wife after a bad fight, the man who has dressed as a giant bird in concert, the man who once called himself "Captain Fantastic" and dubbed his partner "The Brown Dirt Cowboy."

Sir Elton John.

As one leather-clad woman told a TV reporter, "We waited four hours for funeral music!?"

Are Bennie and the Jets bikers?

Clad in an electric blue suit, John gamely worked his way through a medley of hits, including "Rocket Man," "The Bitch is Back," "Philadelphia Freedom" and "Bennie and the Jets." Some fans cheered, some booed--and so many left early that by the end of the show, promoters opened the "VIP" section to everyone.

"Elton was the last person I expected to see," Paul Grinsell of England told the AP. "I don't think he typifies rock 'n' roll or Harley or America."

Cheers, mate.

No knock on Elton John; I saw him in concert at the Allstate Arena last April with Billy Joel on a night when both men were battling throat ailments, and it was a hell of a show. I think the guy's a genius, and I don't care what color his feather boa is when he's singing "Your Song."

And I love the great American story of Harley-Davidsons and the people who ride 'em as well. But I also love steak and chocolate--but I wouldn't think of combining the two. Some things just don't mesh well, under any circumstances.

To the people who thought it was a good idea to book Elton, just one question.

Air Supply wasn't available?

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.