Fess up, boys-- stuff about men.

08-28-03 | by everybody who's ever had to deal with guys

[Liberal Classic]

<Eddie Murphy> Now THAT'S a fire! </Eddie Murphy>

[Teacher317]

11. The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
I don't have to look in the mirror anymore. I'm married, my life is over.
23. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, sleep next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
Whatever, just leave the damn thermostat alone!
26. If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.
There are THREE types of lettuce?!

ROFL! Your revisions are 100% correct!

[R. Scott]

That’s why God invented tattoos.
I have noticed a few hair removal commercials that seem to be directed at men. It’s bad enough that some people think our faces should be similar to women’s (no beard, small mustache allowed) but darned if I’ll shave or wipe the hair from my chest, legs, back and “bikini area”!

[bicycle thug]

"Remote controls are another thing, though."

I agree. Women also don't know how to change the channel often enough too I notice.

[bicycle thug]

"Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of women."

Girly men hide when eating how much they want to eat to spare feelings. Real men just eat faster if they do anything at all to spare the feelings of a jealous female. What sane person goes on a perpetual diet anyways?

Rule of thumb: if you don't inhale the plate, you weren't eating too fast. Works for me.

[DuncanWaring]

Lighting the charcoal - originally done by Prof George Gobel at Purdue.

At one point, he had it documented on his school-based web site; apparently the traffic was croaking the Purdue network, and it's gone now.

It can, however, be retrieved by going to archive.org and requesting it "take you back" to < ghg.ecn.purdue.edu/~ghg .

[bicycle thug]

From the site the picture came from:

"WARNING: an ignition source, such as a lit cigarette or one glowing coal, must be present before pouring on the LOX. If charcoal is PRESOAKED in LOX first, an explosion will result. One briquette presoaked in LOX is approx equiv to 1 stick of dynamite."

[AFreeBird]

Really good meals do not involve three types of lettuce. They involve three types of meat.

Only three? You obviously have never heard of Fogo de Chao, a south Brazilian restaurant. If you run accross one in your travels or live near one and haven't been; I highly reccomend it.

Fogo de Chão operates with a whole new steakhouse concept. There is not a traditional menu. The restaurant features a fixed-price continuous tableside service where the guests can choose any or all of the fifteen finest selections of beef, lamb, pork and chicken.

[discostu]

Notice there's no active verb in that sentence. I love a phone with lots of buttons, don't expect me to ever use the damn thing, but I do like how it looks sitting on my desk gathering dust.

[kidd]

51. Farts are funny (Keilor)

52. Women: use sex to get what they want. Men: sex IS what they want (Seinfeld)

[Michael121]

Liquid Oxygen or you can sit all day with a can of fluid trying to get the charcoal hot....

LO all the way POOFFFFFFF!!!!!!

[mugsy]

When women meet at the mall, the first thing they discuss is where to have lunch. When men meet at the mall, the first thing they discuss is who found the closest parking space.

I only go to the mall if I know what I want and where to get it. It get it, and get the hell out. I can't stand all the noisy slobs and people walking around like they're on drugs. Surprisingly, though, the kids and teenagers don't piss me off. I think they're funny.

[jwh_Denver]

16. Men love watches with multiple functions. An ideal one is one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.

Piano my arse. Try rocket launcher.

[Michael121]

thought this thread could use a picture hehehehehehe

[JoeSixPack1]

46. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause - you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

YeeeeHHHAaaaaaaaaa

[Vinnie]

Some of us just know how to prepare really good meals.

You are correct, Spring Mix with fresh spinach is my favorite.

[Oztrich Boy]

That's the only one I specifically recognise, but they all sound like Rita Rudner.

[4mycountry]

Piano my arse. Try rocket launcher.

Sounds like a James Bond thing to me.

[jwh_Denver]

Just my luck - I married the East German judge...

How would you rate his belching? A 10 is long deep one that he can actually communicate with it.