I would contend that it could involve both.
Posted on 08/28/2003 8:21:30 AM PDT by 4mycountry
50 facts about Men.
1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
3. If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.
4. Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald."
5. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
6. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, you have to get off the phone in case they call him.
7. If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season.
8. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
9. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
10. All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.
11. The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
12. Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.
13. Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
14. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. Sleep with one under your pillow, instead of a gun.
15. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
16. Men love watches with multiple functions. An ideal one is one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.
17. All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf.
18. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
19. Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
20. All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact your local police for a list of names.
21. Men don't get cellulite. God must certainly be a man.
22. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
23. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, sleep next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
24. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."
25. Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.
26. If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.
27. If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr. Right," if he a)got older, b) got a new job, or c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.
28. Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
29. No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
30. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
31. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.
32. Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.
33. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
34. Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"
35. If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget... he didn't lose your number... he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.
36. Men hate to lose. A woman once beat her husband at tennis. She asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other."
37. Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of women.
38. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem."Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you... I want to marry you... I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.
39. Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: "Mitch,you look great." Mitch:"Thanks." On the other side:"Ruth, you look great." Ruth: "I do? Must be the lighting."
40. Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.
41. Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
42. Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
43. Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
44. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with superheros. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
45. When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
46. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause - you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.
47. Men forget everything; women remember everything.
48. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.
49. Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
50. All men would still really like to own a train set.
Always be sure to have an ignition source in the charcoal BEFORE you apply the liquid oxygen. Saturating charcoal briquets with LOX and then igniting is a one-way trip to the pearly gates.
--Boris
I would contend that it could involve both.
Correction. He will assume that his wife has shrunk his clothing.
There is a difference you know. Cuz us manly men don't do the laundry.
You could not have been raised by my mother and say that.
7. If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season.
ANY playoff season.
8. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
Can't help her here. I don't like phones, period. The less buttons the better and don't call me if you just want to talk. State your business and hang up.
9. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
Just the sports section and the crossword puzzle. If you get the paper first, just leave those two sections on the back of the toilet. I'll find them.
11. The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
I don't have to look in the mirror anymore. I'm married, my life is over.
13. Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
I wear them all the time, I'm far from bald and they are not "caps", they are "hats".
16. Men love watches with multiple functions. An ideal one is one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.
See #8. I just want it to tell me what time it is. I can find the day, month and year at the top of the sports section.
22. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
Men don't buy bathing suits. That's the wife's job. If he doesn't have a pair, he wears old gym shorts or cut-offs. Either of which his wife bought for him at some time or another.
23. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, sleep next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
Whatever, just leave the damn thermostat alone!
26. If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.
There are THREE types of lettuce?!
30. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
Or women other than their wives...
31. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.
Correction: They 'bi-itch' about men.
40. Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.
We "impulse buy" at Lowe's or The Home Depot. You don't have to pay for shipping and you don't have to wait two weeks for the UPS guy.
41. Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Only when they talk...
50. All men would still really like to own a train set.
I've had mine since I was 8 years old. Pressing my accountant for the okay on the garden railroad. ;-)
Not me, I can burn water. That is why I need to get that woman here. BTW, RD, I have my airline tickets in my hot little hands. I leave Oct 8th, for that island, the big M, the scariest place on earth. Not.
Well, a fancy salad wouldn't detract from the meal. But when it comes down to it, if there's limited space on the plate, jettison the green stuff. The parsely is just there for decoration.
To show his bravery.
Your correct. I was raised by my mother (God rest her soul) and she taught me how to do the laundry.
However, as soon as I got married, my wife (God bless her), informed me that if I ever thought about doing the laundry, that it would be grounds for divorce!
We have been happily married for over 19 years now!
Need I say more?
Concur. Spectator sports are the new opiate of the masses.
Hear, Hear. Men and good food are a harmonious - from the backyard BBQ master to the world's finest chefs.
Excellent graphic "double-O" RDB3!
[ by the way, the purple kind and the butter lettuce are bitter and taste really bad...you can just skip those ones! ]
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