7. If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season.
ANY playoff season.
8. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
Can't help her here. I don't like phones, period. The less buttons the better and don't call me if you just want to talk. State your business and hang up.
9. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
Just the sports section and the crossword puzzle. If you get the paper first, just leave those two sections on the back of the toilet. I'll find them.
11. The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
I don't have to look in the mirror anymore. I'm married, my life is over.
13. Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
I wear them all the time, I'm far from bald and they are not "caps", they are "hats".
16. Men love watches with multiple functions. An ideal one is one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.
See #8. I just want it to tell me what time it is. I can find the day, month and year at the top of the sports section.
22. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
Men don't buy bathing suits. That's the wife's job. If he doesn't have a pair, he wears old gym shorts or cut-offs. Either of which his wife bought for him at some time or another.
23. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, sleep next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
Whatever, just leave the damn thermostat alone!
26. If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.
There are THREE types of lettuce?!
30. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
Or women other than their wives...
31. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.
Correction: They 'bi-itch' about men.
40. Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.
We "impulse buy" at Lowe's or The Home Depot. You don't have to pay for shipping and you don't have to wait two weeks for the UPS guy.
41. Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Only when they talk...
50. All men would still really like to own a train set.
I've had mine since I was 8 years old. Pressing my accountant for the okay on the garden railroad. ;-)
ROFL! Your revisions are 100% correct!