These are our rules girls. Deal With it!!

Unknown | 8-28-03 | Man's Mind

[WKB]

Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up; you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports.
It's like the full moon, PMS or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is considered blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

[WKB]

ping

[Centurion2000]

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

Amen, neve rdid undestand why women would want to cry on your shoulder and then get even more pissed off when you suggested a perfectly reasonable solution to their problem.

[Mr. K]

bttt

[Centurion2000]

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

Heliotrope is something we drive or shoot at, not paint on walls.

[bedolido]

Hear! Hear!

Thanks for the great post.

[G Larry]

The fact that I relate to this list may explain why I'm 50 & still single.

[goldstategop]

Men need a manual of womanspeak to make it through a marriage.

[Phantom Lord]

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

Does this outfit make me fat? It's not the dress!

Thats the answer I use. Feel free to try it with your women.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

I sleep on the couch every night and have since college. Its a habit I got into in college and continue to this day. My wife loves it because she gets the whole bed. I love it because the fridge with beer and snacks is only feet away! Plus I can leave the TV on and not be woken up and told to turn it off.

Sometimes I do sleep in the bed or wonder up early in the morning.

[RockChucker]

The author is, IMHO, angry at his mother. Maybe predisposed to homosexuality....

Don't like key traits of women? What are you going to do about it?

Remember the movie "Flash Gordon" with Queen doing all the great music? In the movie, there were these planets that were only inhabitted by men.

Great places to hang out.... a little bit too gay, though, for my taste.

No... I'll take the company of women, warts and all.

[Lil'freeper]

This thread is just calling your name.

[Phantom Lord]

Men need a manual of womanspeak to make it through a marriage.

No. They need to lay down the law!

[Phantom Lord]

Is that a whip I hear cracking?!?

[cjshapi]

Oh Laz - didn't see you on this thread yet. You should have some other gems to contribute.

[Conspiracy Guy]

I'm glad they are numbered in order of importance.

[Jonah Hex]

Comments, Laz?

[mhking]

Just damn.

If you want on the new list, FReepmail me. This IS a high-volume PING list...

[KarlInOhio]

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

It's like camping because if you're sleeping on the couch, you have an ill tempered bear only thirty feet away.

[RockChucker]

+ =

[steve50]

The fact that I relate to this list may explain why I'm 50 & still single.

Sounds like a cleverly disguised attempt by divorce lawyers to drum up business,LOL