We all need to do better by our families and our society as a whole.
"There is little information on gay and lesbian domestic violence for several reasons. First, only since 1987 have statistics regarding gay and lesbian domestic violence been collected. The San Francisco Police Department reported no fewer than 100 calls per month for gay and lesbian domestic violence in 1987. The
New York City Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project reported that 12-15% of their clients sought services there for domestic violence. Others report figured as high as 39% (Schilt et al., 1990). Second, as most types of abuse are under reported, these figures are probably the result of either under-reporting as well (Island & Letellier, 1991).
Further, there is a great reluctance in the gay/lesbian community to acknowledge battering. It makes gays look "bad" in an already homophobic society and takes efforts away from fighting homophobic elements of society.
It goes against most feminist beliefs as well -- that a lesbian woman, a woman most likely holding feminist ideals that women should be treated with respect and that domestic violence is largely a gender issue, that such a woman should hit another woman is unbelievable.
Third, this kind of violence may be misreported as well. What is really gay domestic violence is often recorded in police logs as "mutual combat." If society refuses to acknowledge the relationship, it is impossible to acknowledge the domestic violence.
The only known statistic, according to Island and Letellier (1991), regarding gay male coupling, comes from the 1989 San Francisco Examiner, which after a national study of gay men reported that 60% of gay men coupled. Island and Letellier cite Yollin (1989) reporting that 64% of heterosexuals couple, so the coupling rate between homosexuals is very close to that of heterosexuals. Island and Letellier argue that the rate for domestic violence in gay couples should be at least the same as in straight couples, as there is no evidence that gay men are any less violent than straight men.
owever, it is also possible to argue further that the incidence of gay domestic violence is probably greater that heterosexual domestic violence because;
1) there are two men in a gay couple, and either could be a batterer (Island & Letellier, 1991);
2) there is still some social norm not to hit a woman and there is no woman in a gay relationship (Island & Letellier, 1991);
3) there are the social norms that combat between men is always mutual combat and men should fight to resolve differences; and
4) there are additional stressors of gay and lesbian relationships not present in heterosexual relationships."
My bet is that the incidence of gay on gay violence is MUCH greater than heterosexual domestic abuse.
Problem is, theyll probably get their way.