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Why do we make good girls dress bad? - "Baby Porn Star" Fashions
National Post ^ | 08/11/03 | Barbara Kay

Posted on 08/11/2003 7:05:43 AM PDT by bedolido

In the style section of the New York Times a few weeks ago, a layout was entitled: "The Mirror has Two Faces: Fall fashion addresses that great cultural dichotomy -- good girl or bad?" An immigrant might be puzzled reading this. Does the Times give fashion advice to streetwalkers?

No, the Times merely deconstructs the cultural zeitgeist and dresses its models accordingly. The message we absorb is that a lot of women think looking "bad" is good, and the fashion merchants, non-judgmental to a fault, are exploiting the vogue for hookerwear to their enormous profit.

If only it were only women they were exploiting.

I stopped at a toy store to buy a gift, and lo -- since when do toy stores sell bustiers, stilettos and pleather pants? Since children started wearing them, that is when. I read that a Hollywood star's little four-year old girl has a T-shirt bearing the message "Baby porn star." How very ironic and postmodern. Ho Ho. You can't instill sexual self-consciousness too young, apparently.

Should we then be surprised to learn that -- and this is a recent Canadian, not Hollywood, story -- unmonitored summer campers, aged 12 to 14, supposedly playing "tent card games," were found engaged in group oral sex?

The other day in a local womenswear store I witnessed a scene worthy of intervention by the Children's Aid Society. A slim, very fit young mother was shopping with her pudgy adolescent daughter. The daughter sorted yearningly through the baggy cargo pants, but the mother and the eager saleswoman kept urging low-rise mini skirts and tops on her. Obligingly, if self-consciously, the girl tugged on a too-small crop top and a skimpy Spandex skirt, exposing a wide swath of doughy stomach. Her mother cried "Adorable!" at each new and raunchier change of clothes. I wished I could haul the girl off to The Gap and fit her out in cotton crew neck shirts, fleece cardigans and a floppy hat.

At her bat mitzvah, my daughter wore a simple empire waist dress with a white lace Peter Pan collar. We chose her outfit together on a shopping expedition for which she was kitted out in slimfit corduroys and a crisp rugby shirt. That was a compromise: Her real preference would have been baggy jeans and a fluorescent T-shirt. But whether dressed neatly or grungily, neither she nor I wanted her being looked at in a sexual way.

What happened in 20 years to change self-respecting adolescent girls into self-marketing sex kittens?

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Feminism was supposed to free women to be themselves, not chattels to men. Women would enter the marketplace with their husbands. Women would be competitors, not cheerleaders. Women would make the news instead of reading it in their kitchens.

Well, women did everything they were supposed to do. They work, they govern, they are tennis Terminators. They are disproportionately represented in some professions, and girls out-shine boys in school. All the feminists' dreams have come true. The mothers of today's teens learned their lessons well.

Even the one that is turning our young girls' lives into a nightmare.

And that lesson was that women, in order to be truly equal in value to men, must assimilate a man's sexual behaviours and instincts. Are men obsessed with sex? Great. We're there. Are men aggressive in pursuit of sex, promiscuous, and emotionally detached from their conquests? Enter Samantha from Sex in the City with a vibrator in her purse.

So women are "there" in many legitimate ways; but sexually, a strange thing happened en route to "centre court." They took a wrong turn. Women started acting out men's fantasies instead of realizing their own. Hookers dress like they do for a reason. It isn't what they think is attractive or fashionable, it's what -- when men are paying for sex -- men want to see.

If women are finally sexually equal to men, why was everyone obsessed with little-girl icon Britney Spears' virginity and not Justin Timberlake's? Now Britney and Christine look and strut like pole dancers. Compliant women servicing hungry men. Some role models. Some feminist progress.

Deviance has been defined so far down that narcissistic, sexualized childhood is part of mainstream culture. You can delete your spam, avoid the tabloids, resolve to watch Nature and Masterpiece Theatre. But you still have to walk into a toy store occasionally. And what you are seeing there, and in the streets and schools, is the overt sexualization of little girls for the delectation of men and boys. Seduction-obsessed mothers today are complicit in this phenomenon by encouraging or at least doing nothing to stop it.

We are all wading through bathwater and there are babies drowning under our eyes. It is time to shut off the taps.

bkay@videotron.ca

© Copyright 2003 National Post


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: baby; bad; clintonlegacy; dress; fashions; girls; good; itsjustsex; porn; star; why
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1 posted on 08/11/2003 7:05:44 AM PDT by bedolido
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To: bedolido
nobody "Makes" anybody wear anything. it's a matter of choice. if a girl feels the need to dress like a slut, nobody's pointing a gun to her head...
2 posted on 08/11/2003 7:08:22 AM PDT by camle (dis blondes in MY presence willya?!)
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To: camle
Its the "Britney Spears" look.
3 posted on 08/11/2003 7:09:37 AM PDT by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives On In My Heart Forever)
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To: bedolido
Excellent article! Can't think of anything.
4 posted on 08/11/2003 7:11:13 AM PDT by CCCV
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To: camle
A matter of choice?...what about the 5-6 yr olds who show up looking like they belong on a street corner, who bought they dang cloths.
5 posted on 08/11/2003 7:12:33 AM PDT by boxerblues (God Bless the 101st, stay safe, stay alert and watch your backs)
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To: bedolido
"Does the Times give fashion advice to streetwalkers?"

No, it takes "fashion" tips from them.

6 posted on 08/11/2003 7:13:52 AM PDT by theDentist (Liberals can sugarcoat sh** all they want. I'm not biting.)
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To: bedolido
I am sick of trying to find my 6 year old daughter decent clothing. We are raising her to be a lady not a tramp.

All of you moms and dads who are dressing your preteen daughters to look like hookers and then shaking your heads when they start having sex before they are old enough to drive, get a clue.
7 posted on 08/11/2003 7:15:17 AM PDT by mikesmad
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To: mikesmad
I have found appropriate clothing for my girls at Lands End. They seem to be the last place to find such old-fashioned things as tights, slips, Mary Janes and play clothes that can be handed down through numerous children.

Also, if you don't like it or find it just does not work for you, they will take it back. As an example, I bought a navy fleece coat for my daughter and found that it attracted every piece of lint and dog hair within 5 miles. It was unwearable. They exchanged it without question.

Hope this helps.
8 posted on 08/11/2003 7:20:23 AM PDT by HowDidIGetHere? (Faithful lurker for years and years...)
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To: bedolido
It wasn't supposed to be like this. Feminism was supposed to free women to be themselves. . . .

People are quirky -- sometimes you give them freedom, and they don't use their freedom in ways they are "supposed to."

I have a theory that with the threat of sexual harassment lawsuits and other threats to curb male sexuality, women have to dress more and more provocative to get a reaction.

9 posted on 08/11/2003 7:20:43 AM PDT by 68skylark
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To: camle
nobody "Makes" anybody wear anything. it's a matter of choice.

The problem is that the choices are increasingly fewer.

A few weeks ago, we took our 12 year-old daughter to JC Penney to buy her some shirts. My wife spent almost an hour going through the Junior's section trying to find something decent.

She came out with one nice shirt. Literally everything else had some vile message on it. It was absurd. She actually complained to the manager, who told her that Penney had to compete with the other stores in the mall and that was their way of doing it.

We would have bought many other shirts if we could have found some without the "I Am a Young Teen Slut, Do Me Now" messages on them.

10 posted on 08/11/2003 7:20:55 AM PDT by Skooz (Tagline removed by moderator)
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To: camle
Are you a parent? If so, then quit being a part of your childrens peer group and act like a parent. There is no "choice" between dressing like a slut or dressing like a lady in my house. My daughter may pick the colors (with input from her mom and dad) of the lady like clothing we select for her.

My children don't have a choice to act like ladies and gentlemen, they don't have a choice to be polite, they don't have a choice to show respect, they don't have a choice of who their friends are, etc. Once they are adults and move out of my house then they can choose what to do. With our teaching and daily examples they should turn out to choose to continue to be ladies and gentlemen, polite, respectful, and have friends that are like them.
11 posted on 08/11/2003 7:25:10 AM PDT by mikesmad
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To: bedolido
My nieces say that, in some department stores they have no choice in the girls department; it is all provocative. They say their solution is to shop in the boys department. So on a trip to the local Wal-Mart, I walked through kids departments and I want to know who is trying to give our kids a message in fashion that I don't like at all.
12 posted on 08/11/2003 7:26:59 AM PDT by Lady Jag (Googolplex Star Thinker of the Seventh Galaxy of Light and Ingenuity)
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To: HowDidIGetHere?
Yes, we can find things also. But, it is like trying to find that gold nugget surrounded by tons of trash. When we finally find something decent that fits her it is almost a reason to celebrate with a party.
13 posted on 08/11/2003 7:27:24 AM PDT by mikesmad
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To: Skooz
No kidding. I was recently in New York City and we went to a street fair on Madison Avenue. There, right in the shadow of Bergdorf Goodman, was a merchant selling t-shirts for teenage girls. They had some of the raunchiest slogans I have ever seen. And of course the girls, many accompanied by their mothers, were snapping them up!

I have talked to some of these "progressive" parents who say that this stuff actually "breaks down the taboos" so that kids are freer to explore their identities (i.e. their sexuality). Perhaps that is true, if you hold off until their teenage years and raise them properly until that time. But I seriously doubt that is what is happening.

I have a 6-year-old daughter and I also have had some trouble finding decent clothes, especially for church. She is attracted to some of the sluttier stuff she sees in the stores but is still obedient when I refuse to buy them. But I worry about the future when she is not so obedient.

14 posted on 08/11/2003 7:30:45 AM PDT by Dems_R_Losers
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To: bedolido
At her bat mitzvah, my daughter wore a simple empire waist dress with a white lace Peter Pan collar. We chose her outfit together on a shopping expedition for which she was kitted out in slimfit corduroys and a crisp rugby shirt. That was a compromise: Her real preference would have been baggy jeans and a fluorescent T-shirt. But whether dressed neatly or grungily, neither she nor I wanted her being looked at in a sexual way.

But I'll be willing to bet she had to look far and wide to find that simple waist dress with a white Peter Pan collar.

I have been on three shopping trips with my 10 year old granddaughter for school clothes and have wanted to have the guy by the throat who is designing and manufacturing these clothes for children. I got so tired of saying, "No you can't have that" three days and we got two pair of slacks a scort, and two shirts with a simple collar. I finally told her Mom I couldn't handle it anymore.. I bought her underware and left the clothes shopping to mom and the other grandma. I thought it would be fun to take he shopping. Boy was I mistaken.

15 posted on 08/11/2003 7:31:55 AM PDT by Texas Mom
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To: Dems_R_Losers
But I worry about the future when she is not so obedient.

We explain to my 6 year old that we want her to grow up to be a lady like her mom. We constantly reinforce that what being a lady really means. Even at 6 she is pretty astute at what is acceptable and what is not. I am confident that if I control who her peer groups are she will turn out fine. This is one of the reasons we homeschool. I know it would be a lot harder if she was in public school.

16 posted on 08/11/2003 7:38:00 AM PDT by mikesmad
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To: HowDidIGetHere?
I have found appropriate clothing for my girls at Lands End. They seem to be the last place to find such old-fashioned things as tights, slips, Mary Janes and play clothes that can be handed down through numerous children

I bought my daughter's clothes there as long as I could, and then she turned 9.

My daughter is cursed with genes that make her long-waisted, short-legged, long-armed and given her an apple-shaped figure. Trying to find decent GIRLS clothes (not slut-wear) for her was already a nightmare, and then the trend went crop tops and hip-hugger. I did find a new "Torrid" store at the mall -- thank God -- that had clothes that would fit her and COVER her too. I paid through the nose, but it was worth it.

My daughter is outgoing and has a wonderful personality. I don't want to quash that by putting her in dowdy clothes, but both she and I AGREE that she's going to dress decently.

17 posted on 08/11/2003 7:38:13 AM PDT by Kieri
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To: bedolido
Feminism was supposed to free women to be themselves, not chattels to men.

Young women don't feel like 'chattel to men' when they dress provocatively.

They feel giddy with the power to turn heads.

18 posted on 08/11/2003 7:42:16 AM PDT by StatesEnemy
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To: bedolido
Just wait until Victoria's Secret starts a children's line.

I can just see it: "Vickie's Secret (tm)"...

--Boris

19 posted on 08/11/2003 7:50:50 AM PDT by boris (Education is always painful; pain is always educational.)
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To: Texas Mom
I was at a mall (Ugh, I absolutely hate having to shop at one) the other day looking for a dress shirt for my fifteen-year-old son. A gaggle of adolescent girls (none looked older than my son) strode by wearing low-rise sweats and skimpy crop tops. One girl's pants had the word "juicy" plastered on her wiggling behind.

My son likes girls and will sometimes look them over, but even he thought that the "juicy" advertisement was really gross and out there. (He actually pointed it out to me!) Thank goodness he has a lovely girlfriend who dresses and acts like a young lady--emphasis on lady.

Any mother or father who allows their young daughters to wear garments with the words "Baby Porn Star," "Juicy," "Sex Kitten/Princess" and other bad taste phrases should be arrested for pimping their child.
20 posted on 08/11/2003 7:55:43 AM PDT by demnomo
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