The Urban Species Renewal Act

Fearless-flyers.com ^ | August 1, 2003 | Matthew B. Rogers

[Fearless Flyers]

The Urban Species Renewal Act

By: Matthew B. Rogers

The time has come for urban dwellers to step up to the plate and put their lives and livelihoods on the line. Over the last ½ century, country folk have been sacrificing their personal and economic security to appease the passions of city folk who haven’t a clue about rural culture, the time has come for them to do the same for their country cousins.

If city people have a right to their barbaric desire to feed farmers and ranchers to the lions, country folk have right to feed city folk to rats, rabid dogs and cats, giant cockroaches and bats. There is no difference between the two causes.

Sure city people will complain and may correctly point out, that an Urban Species Renewal Act could cause health problems and create the possibility of greater loss of life, than could ever be accomplished by the reintroduction of wolfs, mountain lions, and bears into the environment. But the damage of reintroducing the rodents would more than likely be equal in ratio to that of the damage done by the reintroduction of predators to the environment. We now have the technology to combat most health concerns so the occasional urban death should be of no great concern and would be balanced by the satisfaction that we can preserve these species for future generations to experience.

City people won’t understand the value country people see in rabid urban rodents, actually they don’t see any value in them, but country people don’t understand the fact that city people see a value in dangerous predators.

In California, farming and ranching communities are daily facing the threat of dangerous predators, because of a referendum introduced to ban the hunting of mountain lions. The fact that such a decision was given to a populous where the majority of voters reside in large urban populations is just as absurd as the idea of the Urban Species Renewal Act. But we should not allow this to stop us from introducing the legislation. Since the urban residents believe they can encroach on the culture of the rural residents, turnabout is fair play.

It is obvious that nothing short of a smack upside the head is going to awaken the voting population, to the dangers they have allowed to be placed on the lands of farmers and ranchers and in the neighborhoods of small rural towns, unfortunately such violence is illegal. The introduction of the Urban Species Renewal Act into their neighborhoods may be just the smack upside the head, which is necessary to awaken the minds of the ignorant majority, to the damage they have allowed to be done to our rural communities.

Economically there may be no difference between a candy factory loosing four months of its production, because it becomes contaminated by rat droppings and a rancher loosing ¼ of his stock to predators. Except, the candy producer is likely to find a market for his contaminated product somewhere in America, considering the stupidity we see in our Nation today and the propensity for many of our citizens to actually eat….., well you get the point. But once a ranchers stock is lost to a predator there is no chance for him to reclaim his loss.

During the year 2002, there were over 1,500 complaints of close encounters with Bears in the State of New Jersey, seven years earlier the complaints barely amounted to 300. This was caused because animal rights activist refused to allow the bear population to be properly controlled and used their propaganda campaigns to play on the heart strings of the ignorant majority, who allowed them to accomplish their agenda.

Supposedly Americans respect others’ cultures and should know their place within those cultures. Today rural populations are being culturally cleansed and those that manage to survive are not being allowed to make the decisions which only they have the knowledge to make. We do not allow them to be secure in their environment because the voting majority and their representatives in Congress, have the arrogance to believe they have the knowledge to make decisions on matters they can’t possibly understand.

The time has come to turn the tables, the decisions of the ignorant majority we find living in our urban areas have proven, they are too stupid to make decisions for themselves and for their own sake, it is time we introduce them to the Urban Species Renewal Act. We can feel good about preserving disease carrying rodents for the generations to come and this is just the smack upside the head the people need and deserve.

[concerned about politics]

We got tired of the city folks dropping off their cats in the country, so we took a whole load of Banny roosters into the city one night and let them go. They woke up the whole city at the break of dawn every morning.
(Bannies are really hard to catch. They're small, they like to hide in trees, and quick flyers.)
We wanted to see how they liked it. They went into a total tizzy.

[eldoradude]

What about the Stupid Human Interment Treaty? Details posted at http://www.darwinawards.com/