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New NFL Team Slogans! (my title)
ESPN Online ^ | 7/31/03 | Eric Immerman

Posted on 07/31/2003 9:40:12 AM PDT by TheBigB

When NFL marketing personnel gather during training camp to plan for the upcoming season, one of their most important tasks is to come up with a catchy team slogan that excites the fans, spurs ticket sales, and accurately represents the direction the team is heading.

As luck would have it, Page 2 was leaked the official 2003 marketing slogans for all 32 NFL teams.

Arizona Cardinals: "At Least It Will Be A Dry 3-13."

Atlanta Falcons: "Helping Displaced Northerners Avoid Truck-Related Sports Since 1966."

Baltimore Ravens: "Are You Ready For Some Futbol-Like Scores?"

Buffalo Bills: "Knock, Knock? Who's There? Drew Bledsoe. Drew Bledsoe Who? Drew Bledsoe Much From A Hit In The Pocket That He Passed Out, So, Like, The Least You Could Do Is Buy A Four Game Ticket Plan."

Carolina Panthers: "Zero To 60 Points In 12 Games Flat!"

Chicago Bears: "Keep Telling Yourself Last Season Was Just A Fluke -- Just Like You Told Yourself You'd Travel For A Year And Then Go To College."

Cincinnati Bengals: "Only 367,200 Minutes 'Till We Make Our Selection."

Cleveland Browns: "You Don't Live In Cincinnati, You Live In Cleveland ... So Let The Potentially Crippling Projectile Objects Fly!"

Dallas Cowboys: "As Seen Last Year On The Popular HBO Series, Oz."

Denver Broncos: "Hey Look, We've Got Plummer's Butt."

Detroit Lions: "New Coach. New Beginnings. New Horizons Of Unfulfillment And Dissatisfaction."

Green Bay Packers: "Millions Of Animals Were Harmed In The Making Of This Team Nickname."

Houston Texans: "We Still Have That New Carr Smell."

Indianapolis Colts: "Remember: You Can't Spell Indianapolis Without 'No D.'"

Jacksonville Jaguars: "A Refreshing Break From Watching The Underarm Wattles Of Elderly Floridians Flail About As They Wave Their Bingo Cards."

Kansas City Chiefs: "Come See A Priest Run Wild --Without All The Catholic Guilt."

Miami Dolphins: "Seau! Seau! Seau! No, Seriously, 'Say Ow,' Because Our Inflated Ticket Prices Are Painful."

Minnesota Vikings: "Proud Home Of Several Defensive Players Good Enough To Play On Saturdays."

New England Patriots: "75 Rushing Yards Allowed The First Minute, 25 Rushing Yards Allowed Each Additional Minute."

New Orleans Saints: "Tired Of Watching Beautiful Coeds Take It All Off On Bourbon Street? Well, Check Out The Superdome's 'Shirtless Breasty Men Gone Wide,' Featuring Uninhibited, Bosomy Males With Perilously High Caloric Intake Baring It All!"

New York Giants: "Snap. Tackle. Flop!"

New York Jets: "What Happens In The Meadowlands, Stays In The Meadowlands ... Um, Right Up Until Dan Snyder's Helicopter Picks It Up And Transports It Back To Redskins Park."

Oakland Raiders: "Our Veterans Have Been Playing Since The Beatles Arrived On The Scene...Not The Band, The Life Form!"

Philadelphia Eagles: "Kids Under 12 Arraigned Free!"

Pittsburgh Steelers: "Ask Us About Our New Kordelless Service: Guaranteed To Result In Better Reception."

San Diego Chargers: "This Year's Theme Is Marty-Gras...And Our Defense Is Giving Up Big Pass Plays For Lent."

San Francisco 49ers: "Straight Guys (In Glorified Capri Pants) For The Queer Eye."

St. Louis Rams: "We Added Jason Sehorn To Spruce Up Our Defense-Which Is Kind Of Like Adding A Rear Spoiler To Spruce Up Your Geo."

Seattle Seahawks: "We're Okeafor Now, Thanks."

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: "Jon Gruden's Ego, Official Site of Super Bowl XXXVIII."

Tennessee Titans: "The Best Thing To Happen To Tennessee Since Arrested Development."

Washington Redskins: "J-E-T-S--Jets, Jets, Jets!"


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: football; nfl
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To: DAPFE8900
Sorry. As a 49er fan who inflicted much damage to his lungs smoking three cigarettes simultaneously during Montana's drive in the Cincy Super Bowl, I had to bring it up.

Look at it on the bright side. You could be a Seahawk fan.

161 posted on 07/31/2003 1:03:13 PM PDT by Grando Calrissian
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To: Spruce
ROFL!!!!!!!!!

Purple Pride (HA!)

162 posted on 07/31/2003 1:04:05 PM PDT by Johnny Gage (God Bless President Bush, God Bless our Troops, and GOD BLESS AMERICA)
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To: Grando Calrissian
Oh i know that is true...At least denver has made up for there losses! LOL
163 posted on 07/31/2003 1:04:24 PM PDT by DAPFE8900
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To: dubyaismypresident
"It's a rumor, who knows."

If it's not true it should be.
164 posted on 07/31/2003 1:04:52 PM PDT by Lee'sGhost (Crom!)
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To: DAPFE8900
That was a very impressive win. The team that backed to back was excellent.
165 posted on 07/31/2003 1:05:58 PM PDT by mr.pink
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To: Grando Calrissian
Lighten up, Francis. It's billionaires taking pocket change from other billionaires.


166 posted on 07/31/2003 1:05:58 PM PDT by al_c
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To: LIBERATENJ
PHILADELPHIA EAGLES-New Stadium, Same old fans.

No hoagies.

167 posted on 07/31/2003 1:06:31 PM PDT by Constitutionalist Conservative (http://c-pol.com)
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To: mr.pink
Yes and who would have thought it with the nfc dominance for 13 years...Was a happy broncos fan...
168 posted on 07/31/2003 1:06:47 PM PDT by DAPFE8900
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To: DAPFE8900
Denver put a stake through the "Brett Favre is the next Joe Montana" myth. Sixth greatest Super Bowl off all time.
169 posted on 07/31/2003 1:07:19 PM PDT by Grando Calrissian
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To: al_c
Perfect.
170 posted on 07/31/2003 1:08:55 PM PDT by Grando Calrissian
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To: Constitutionalist Conservative
No Hoagies, No Peace!

SD

171 posted on 07/31/2003 1:13:28 PM PDT by SoothingDave
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To: Wondervixen
Hey! Lay off my Bengo's!

Um... Shouldn't they lay themselves off? And then maybe hire the local high school all-star team in its place:-P

Seriously, I'm a long suffering (is there any other kind) Jets fan, so "I feel your pain".

172 posted on 07/31/2003 1:25:06 PM PDT by MortMan (Tag - Does this mean "I'm it"?)
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To: never4get
What in the hell are you talking about?

I showed a sheep because I saw the word 'sheeple!'

173 posted on 07/31/2003 4:30:18 PM PDT by rockfish59
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To: TheBigB
Some logos to go along with your theme . . .

174 posted on 07/31/2003 4:44:13 PM PDT by BraveMan
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To: rockfish59
Well, if we're talking about favorite players of all time, I have to go with The Diesel!

Down 17-13 in the fourth quarter of Super Bowl XVII and needing a big play, the Redskins turned once again to running back John Riggins, who had been making big plays for them all season. Washington faced a fourth-and-1 from the Miami 43. After taking a handoff, Riggins broke through the line and rumbled all the way for a touchdown to give Washington its first lead of the game. The Redskins went on to win 27-17.

The 43-yard run by Riggins, the game's Most Valuable Player, was immortalized in one of NFL Films's most memorable images. Coming straight toward the camera, the rugged running back fills the screen for several seconds as he chugs to a place in Super Bowl history. While helping Washington win its first NFL title since 1942, Riggins set a Super Bowl record with 166 yards on 38 carries.


175 posted on 07/31/2003 4:52:50 PM PDT by COBOL2Java
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To: COBOL2Java
I like rugged knockem' down runners, Riggins, Czonka, and one you may not remember, Jim Taylor.
Taylor was one mean dude. He usually blocked for Paul Hornung of Packer fame.
I once saw Taylor break in the clear, a rarity, and actually turned away from the goal to run over a defensive back.
And when he was tackled, the tacklers better turn loose instantly or he got up swinging.
176 posted on 07/31/2003 5:12:48 PM PDT by Vinnie
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To: Vinnie
I'll never forget the film of Earl Campbell going full speed and hitting a Ram right in the chest with his helmet!
The shock wave was heard round the world!
177 posted on 07/31/2003 5:18:31 PM PDT by rockfish59
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To: COBOL2Java
Ah yes, the strike year!

I don't think he used the 'Jake Brake' either! =^)

178 posted on 07/31/2003 5:19:40 PM PDT by rockfish59
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To: Vinnie
I remember Jim Taylor! Here he is in 1968 (my Sophomore year in HS).


179 posted on 07/31/2003 6:48:13 PM PDT by COBOL2Java
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To: dubyaismypresident
NYJets. "Dying to see how that Tight Salary Cap fits on Little Danny Snyders Fat head." (2 years.)
180 posted on 08/01/2003 5:36:21 AM PDT by hobbes1 ( Hobbes1TheOmniscient® "I know everything so you don't have to" ;)
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