New NFL Team Slogans! (my title)

ESPN Online ^ | 7/31/03 | Eric Immerman

[TheBigB]

When NFL marketing personnel gather during training camp to plan for the upcoming season, one of their most important tasks is to come up with a catchy team slogan that excites the fans, spurs ticket sales, and accurately represents the direction the team is heading.

As luck would have it, Page 2 was leaked the official 2003 marketing slogans for all 32 NFL teams.

Arizona Cardinals: "At Least It Will Be A Dry 3-13."

Atlanta Falcons: "Helping Displaced Northerners Avoid Truck-Related Sports Since 1966."

Baltimore Ravens: "Are You Ready For Some Futbol-Like Scores?"

Buffalo Bills: "Knock, Knock? Who's There? Drew Bledsoe. Drew Bledsoe Who? Drew Bledsoe Much From A Hit In The Pocket That He Passed Out, So, Like, The Least You Could Do Is Buy A Four Game Ticket Plan."

Carolina Panthers: "Zero To 60 Points In 12 Games Flat!"

Chicago Bears: "Keep Telling Yourself Last Season Was Just A Fluke -- Just Like You Told Yourself You'd Travel For A Year And Then Go To College."

Cincinnati Bengals: "Only 367,200 Minutes 'Till We Make Our Selection."

Cleveland Browns: "You Don't Live In Cincinnati, You Live In Cleveland ... So Let The Potentially Crippling Projectile Objects Fly!"

Dallas Cowboys: "As Seen Last Year On The Popular HBO Series, Oz."

Denver Broncos: "Hey Look, We've Got Plummer's Butt."

Detroit Lions: "New Coach. New Beginnings. New Horizons Of Unfulfillment And Dissatisfaction."

Green Bay Packers: "Millions Of Animals Were Harmed In The Making Of This Team Nickname."

Houston Texans: "We Still Have That New Carr Smell."

Indianapolis Colts: "Remember: You Can't Spell Indianapolis Without 'No D.'"

Jacksonville Jaguars: "A Refreshing Break From Watching The Underarm Wattles Of Elderly Floridians Flail About As They Wave Their Bingo Cards."

Kansas City Chiefs: "Come See A Priest Run Wild --Without All The Catholic Guilt."

Miami Dolphins: "Seau! Seau! Seau! No, Seriously, 'Say Ow,' Because Our Inflated Ticket Prices Are Painful."

Minnesota Vikings: "Proud Home Of Several Defensive Players Good Enough To Play On Saturdays."

New England Patriots: "75 Rushing Yards Allowed The First Minute, 25 Rushing Yards Allowed Each Additional Minute."

New Orleans Saints: "Tired Of Watching Beautiful Coeds Take It All Off On Bourbon Street? Well, Check Out The Superdome's 'Shirtless Breasty Men Gone Wide,' Featuring Uninhibited, Bosomy Males With Perilously High Caloric Intake Baring It All!"

New York Giants: "Snap. Tackle. Flop!"

New York Jets: "What Happens In The Meadowlands, Stays In The Meadowlands ... Um, Right Up Until Dan Snyder's Helicopter Picks It Up And Transports It Back To Redskins Park."

Oakland Raiders: "Our Veterans Have Been Playing Since The Beatles Arrived On The Scene...Not The Band, The Life Form!"

Philadelphia Eagles: "Kids Under 12 Arraigned Free!"

Pittsburgh Steelers: "Ask Us About Our New Kordelless Service: Guaranteed To Result In Better Reception."

San Diego Chargers: "This Year's Theme Is Marty-Gras...And Our Defense Is Giving Up Big Pass Plays For Lent."

San Francisco 49ers: "Straight Guys (In Glorified Capri Pants) For The Queer Eye."

St. Louis Rams: "We Added Jason Sehorn To Spruce Up Our Defense-Which Is Kind Of Like Adding A Rear Spoiler To Spruce Up Your Geo."

Seattle Seahawks: "We're Okeafor Now, Thanks."

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: "Jon Gruden's Ego, Official Site of Super Bowl XXXVIII."

Tennessee Titans: "The Best Thing To Happen To Tennessee Since Arrested Development."

Washington Redskins: "J-E-T-S--Jets, Jets, Jets!"

[rockfish59]

They were probably both thinking; 'Let's break some records today!'

[rockfish59]

Oh, be nice, fella!

[baseballfanjm]

LOL, so true.

[mr.pink]

I can't quite explain it, but I've never seen anyone hit people quite the way Bell does. It's almost like his body mass is denser than everyone elses. The only person who gives me that same (what is this guy, made out of oak?) feeling is Steve McNair

I read that he gave Bettis an opening day greeting ;o)

[never4get]

For those of you either living in a cave, or for those so blinded by your love for the NFL, that you can cast this one aside, or for those of you who condone this... Diversity blackmail in the NFL Gary Coleman, the NFL wants you NFL Fines Lions $200G Over Coach Search Hey, why should the NFL change it's racist policies, when they have the support from sheeple people like you?

You my friend have a very selective paranoia. I agree that special interests incluisive of racisim is attempting to push their own interests in the NFL but that is happening everywhere in society...for you to solely make this only an NFL problem is very strange. No one condones it and in fact same is being contested by various owners etc. If such a thing like this truly upsets you to such a point you can not watch the NFL then being it is happening in all walks of life within this country how can you even live here in this country? It used to be called quotas and now masquerades as other employment and college recruiting nonsense...and yes, battles are being waged on that front as well. If I used your reasoning I should then choose not to educate myself or seek employment as well as not watching football. DON'T THROW THE BABY OUT WITH THE BATH WATER DUDE...CHILL AND ENJOY A GREAT GAME WHILE YOUR AT IT. You probably won't but at least I tried.

[mr.pink]

It was a great moment, anytime your team inflicts the type defeat that lingers with the loser for years and years and years, it's a great moment....but IMO Joe topped it in the SB against Cincy.

[DAPFE8900]

Yes that is true.... But what about Denvers upset against the packers pretty good to!

[rockfish59]

Ah, this one!

[DAPFE8900]

That is a fantastic site wow.... Bet that thing cost a bundle...Thanks Rock!

[rockfish59]

Heidi says; Greetings From New Zealand!

[Allegra]

Houston Texans: "We're named after the Houston FReeper Chapter"

And one of the members even has season tickets... :-)

[rockfish59]

Yer welcome!
Google rocks! =^)

[Allegra]

HOUSTON TEXANS: "So what if the Titans win games? At least we're not owened by Bud Adams!"

I picked the Texans to go 2-14 in their inaugural season and they went 4-12.

I'm going out on a limb and picking 8-8 for this year...they've got some experience now and have developed a bit of an offensive line.

You just watch us!! :-)

[Grando Calrissian]

Lighten up, Francis. It's billionaires taking pocket change from other billionaires.

[E Rocc]

The Cleveland Browns: Good seats still available for our game vs. the Bengals, in Cincinatti of course.

We chartered a bus and went to the first game in Paul Brown Stadium, won by Paul's original team (of course). There were so many buses from north of I-70 they ran out of places to park them. Our section was 2/3 Browns fans.

-Eric

[never4get]

Selective Paranoia Is Not A Pretty Thing...It is very suggestive of other ailments which speak more of a person on a personal level. I will not dredge the bottom of that barrel. People can choose to be miserable, and have their hatreds and insecurities fester to a point they develop selective paranoia. If one truly believes that such practices in the NFL deserve a boycott then at least be consistant and boycott everything else and live in your own misery...Please, stop the whining and the selective paranoia...truly pathetic.

[Wacka]

Miami Dolphins: Come see our patented late season swoon! (US Pat.# 7,777,777)

Watch out for the Bills this year!

[Grando Calrissian]

...until they lost by 3 TDs a week later :)

[E Rocc]

logos on both sides of the helmet would be extravagant.

-Eric

[DAPFE8900]

HAD TO BRING IT UP DIDNT YA LOL!