Sorry, You're Nobody's Type -- Dating Sites Now Reject Some Applicants Upfront

The Wall Street Journal ^ | Wednesday, July 30, 2003 | JANE SPENCER

[TroutStalker]

Nik Bosyk considers himself a decent catch. The six-foot-four, blue-eyed voice-actor makes great calamari, likes sappy movies, and never forgets birthdays. But after a recent dating dry spell, the 25-year-old swallowed his pride and turned to the refuge of the semi-desperate: online dating. "It seemed like you were guaranteed to meet someone," he says.

[dead]

"I was stunned," says Mr. Bosyk, who apparently failed the personality test. "Is that even possible?"

Loser.

On so many many levels.

[RockChucker]

This cannot be real..... Onion.com joke?

[Huck]

[PBRSTREETGANG]

"I was stunned," says Mr. Bosyk, who apparently failed the personality test. "Is that even possible?"

Does he live in his parents' basement and drive a Segway to work, or something?

[Alouette]

Who is running these websites, Simon Cowell?

[bedolido]

I am soooo glad I'm married... I'd hate to try and sell this old body to some unsuspecting and equally old female.

[Ronin]

Hello.... you have reached the suicide prevention hotline... all of our operators are too busy to talk to a loser like you... If you plan to use a pistol, please replace the receiver before you commence firing, and don't forget to unlock the safety....

[Sam Cree]

I have an acquaintance who owns a dating website. Funny thing is, he himself has never found that "right" one.

[StriperSniper]

who apparently failed the personality test.

Nah, I'd bet it was the backround check.

[Semper Paratus]

Should not have given his address as "In a trailer down by the river".

[connectthedots]

eharmony.com rejects approximately 20% of the applicants. I know a woman who was rejected.

[ClearCase_guy]

Should not have given his occupation as "Impeached President of the United States".

[CJ Wolf]

Kind of like all those pyschologists that are nuts and the teachers who can't get a job in the field they teach, eh?

[HEY4QDEMS]

A cyber version of Studio 54, who'da thunk it.

[capt. norm]

It's like th eold joke:
"I sent my picture in to the 'Lonely Hearts Club' and they wrote back: We're not THAT lonely!"

[Snuffington]

Actually, I think the interesting thing about these sites is that they seem to have found viable business models. They aren't trying to appeal to everyone at once and capture 100% market share. They're trying to turn a profit, and are apparently succeeding.

[js1138]

Friendster is really hot with the 20 something crowd.

[N. Theknow]

Hello.... you have reached the suicide prevention hotline...

And there is also the Psychology Hotline.

"If you are egotistical...press 1.
If you have multiple personalities..press 2..3...4 and 5.
If you are manic-depressive just hang up the damn phone Loser.
If you are obsessive-compulsive...press 6...press 6...press 6...press 6.

If you are paranoid Schizophrenic, stay on the line while we trace the call and send someone to destroy your house, your family, your friends, your pets and leave you totally alone and vulnerable.

[Pukin Dog]

Kobe Bryant's application:

Occupation: NBA 2-Guard, LA Lakers.
Response: Failed.
Reason: Unstable Career

College Education: None.
Response: Failed.
Reason: Our applicants prefer college educated men.

Status: Recently divorced single parent.
Response: Failed.
Reason: Single parents have different relationship priorities.

Type of woman desired: White, young, flexible.
Response: Failed.
Reason: Most of our applicants are darker, older and stiffer.

Personality type: Aggresive, potentially violent, very generous when under stress.
Response: Failed.
Reason: One should be generous prior to stress.

Financial Status: Net worth; 50Million +
Response: When can you sign up, handsome?
Reason: We are idiots.