BOB HOPE JOKES

THE LAST CHRISTMAS SHOW | 7/28/03 | SELF

[New Horizon]

In England, I was the youngest of five boys. After they had me, Mum and Daddy never spoke to each other again.
I was Mom’s favorite, though. She was always playing with me and tossing me in the air… What fun it would have been if one day she would’ve caught me.
There were so many in my family, I was eight years old before it was my turn in the bathroom.
In all there were seven brothers. That’s how I learned to dance . . . waiting for my turn in the bathroom.
We had the only bathroom in the neighborhood with a revolving door.
I wore hand-me-downs all my life. By the time the trousers got to me, they were so worn that I could sit on a dime and tell you if it was heads or tails.
And by the time my younger brother got them, he could do the same thing sitting on a dollar bill.
The seat of the trousers got so shiny, we’d hang them on the bedpost and they’d double as a night-light.
In those days, shoes were a status symbol!
I came from a very big family. Four of us slept in the same bed. When we got cold, Mother threw on another brother.
With so many boys, my father bought us a dachshund so we could all pet him at the same time.

[TomGuy]

FoxNews just reported that some 80,000 of his jokes will be in the Library of Congress files.

That is a lot of material he accumulated over the decades.

A lot of memories, for sure.

[wasp69]

As Hope and Vic Damone looked out the cockpit of the plane as it was approaching Pleiku, home of the 4th Infantry Division, Damone asked "What are those puffs of smoke down there? Artillery fire?" Bob answered, "No, they're just burning de Gaulle's picture."

Niiiiice!

[mass55th]

Thanks for the memories. He was one of a kind.

[Stand Watch Listen]

[nyconse]

Just heard on CNN that Bob Hope has died. Didn't hear the whole report. I have not heard it anywhere else.

[TomGuy]

FoxNews entertainment reporter just corrected himself:

It isn't 89,000 jokes that will be in the L of C; it is 89,000 PAGES of jokes.

WOW!

[wimpycat]

MSNBC was the first to break the story a little after 9:00 this morning (eastern time).

[Skyleader]

Ref your reply...

Q. What did Bob Hope get for his hundredth birthday?
A. Dead. [Get it?]

I DON'T THINK AMERICA SHARES YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR.

[woofie]

Thanks for the post

[Texas Mom]

FoxNews just reported that some 80,000 of his jokes will be in the Library of Congress files.

And all are fit for any audience. No four letter words or inuendo like todays so called commedians.

[Archie Bunker on steroids]

Is CNN still on the air?

[LibKill]

Don't quit the day job, you will starve.

[Moby Grape]

In his early twenties, Bob Hope tried a short stint as a professional boxer...he said that he did so much backing up in the ring that he had to wear rear-view mirrors......he said he could have won more fights if the referee had stopped stepping on his hands.

[nyconse]

I am so sorry to hear this. I love Bob Hope. I hope he's telling a few jokes to St. Peter and setting up for a round of golf with his buddies who went before him.

This is a little off topic, but did you hear Drudge last night? He says that CBS is doing a hit piece on Reagan that will hurt and embarrass Nancy Reagan (James Brolin as Reagan). He described the script as explosive.

[woofie]

I didnt like # 9 either....

[nyconse]

Yeah, I click by it sometimes: don't stop long. LOL

[Focault's Pendulum]

It isn't 89,000 jokes that will be in the L of C; it is 89,000 PAGES of jokes.

And according to BobHope...he stole 88,999 of them.

RIP Mr. Hope.