Limp 'Biscuit' [Review of 'Seabiscuit' with political shot at Republicans and conservatives]

Fort Worth Star-Telegram ^ | July 25, 2003 | Christopher Kelly

[willieroe]

Limp 'Biscuit' - 'Seabiscuit' pulls up lame, courtesy of a director who should have reined in the sentimentality

By Christopher Kelly
Star-Telegram Film Critic

[Review of movie snipped to avoid plot giveaway - last paragraph of review follows:]

Considering the heartless alternatives out there, I suspect this kind of big, sloppy treacle will probably go over big. All that proves is that no one ever went broke by pandering to white, middle-class audiences. Indeed, from its stately pace to its gleaming photography to the fact that the only African-American character seems to have stepped out of a regional theater production of Driving Miss Daisy, the movie has a neo-conservative undercurrent that dovetails a little too comfortably with the current political climate. Seabiscuit is deeply in love with a nostalgic, rally-round-the-underdog way of life -- a way of life that exists only in old movies and Republican stump speeches. This movie wants us to cherish "how things used to be," and it's made with so much elan that we may not notice that its version of the truth is nothing but hogwash.

[altura]

We need to kick you off the site for making us retch with your unacceptable "chick flick" references.

That phrase seems to be enormously popular with you; you used it several times. What do you mean by it?

[Steely Glint]

Seabiscuit was undersized, he had bad confirmation, he had a bad knee, and he still broke the all-time money-winning record for a horse. He beat the larger and healthier War Admiral, considered by most to be the greatest racehorse living, in a straight up race with no handicaps. And, aged and broken at age seven, he came out of retirement to be ridden by a likewise-broken jockey (who once said that he and Seabiscuit had four good legs between them) to win one last major race and to set that all-time record. There's only one way to do that: it's called heart.

I haven't seen the movie yet, but I will tell you this: it can't be much more inspirational than the truth about Seabiscuit is.

[altura]

That's interesting, I didn't know that, perhaps that's whence cameth the Lawn Jockey's?

[KarlInOhio]

As if every single movie about anything that happened before 1965 MUST either feature a black character, no matter how obscure or false

Oh, you're talking about Kevin Costner's Robin Hood.

[Drew68]

to the fact that the only African-American character seems to have stepped out of a regional theater production of Driving Miss Daisy,

There seems to be some rule in Hollywood that every film must contain at least one African-American character --preferably in the role of scientist, neuro-surgeon, police captain or the always faithful "Magic Negro" role (i.e., "Green Mile, Legend of Bagger Vance", and many more) where a helpless white dude is brought out of his shell by a mysterious black man who enters his life and makes personal sacrifices so that poor whitey can find his way.

But blacks are never allowed to be criminals. The refreshingly un-PC "Dark Blue" with Kurt Russell deviated slightly from this rule by having a criminal duo portrayed by a white and a black actor.

And if films contain no blacks? That could be big trouble. I honestly remember Spielberg taking heat because his epic "Saving Private Ryan" had no black actors in it. I've further read that Ted Turner will digitize some old films from Hollywood's "Golden Era" of the 1930's-40's. to add some black faces into the backgrounds and as extras.

[mountaineer]

This guy is critical of the movie only because he heard it was shown at the White House the other day. If Bush liked it, he seems to conclude, it's a schmaltzy, bigoted movie for rich Republican white men only.

[ShakeNJake]

That explains a lot. The Star Telegram has decided not to print the photos of the Hussein boys either citing editorial policy about sensationalized reporting.

[Eva]

It's always sad to see someone so full of hate.

I have been thinking that a lot about the liberals lately. They are so full of hate, anger and gloom that their lives must be very miserable. Someone should tell them that hate and doomesday predictions won't win them any friends and they won't win elections, either.

[ShakeNJake]

I did some research. No connection with black jockeys according to this site:

http://www.horseinfo.com/info/misc/jockeyinfo.html

[discostu]

Chick flick is a fairly common term, it refers to movies slanted towards a particularly soppy female demographic. Some "classic" chick flicks:
Bridges of Madison County (Meryl Streep's career is built on chick flicks)
most of Titanic
anything with Julia Roberts
Four Weddings and a Funeral (rescued by British humor, actually not a bad movie)
Jerry McGuire (which advertised itself as a sports movie, I still think they should be sued)
Anything with Barbra Streisand

Basically movies about love and crying and other soppy stuff that straight men don't want to think about especially in a public place. It's genre independant, but there's an overriding style and focus. And it's evil. It's even in the online dictionary http://dictionary.directhit.com/dictionary/search.php?qry=chick%20flick

There is a male equivalent (replace the "ch" with a "d") they tend to have lots of explosions.

[Prysson]

ROLFMAO

[SoCal Pubbie]

Actually, somewhere in Europe there is a medieval cathedral with a sculpture of a knight with clearly black African features, so it's not totally out of the question to have a black man in Robin Hood.

[Age of Reason]

This movie wants us to cherish "how things used to be,"

Oh, would that ever be a cardinal sin to cherish those things that made America great.

[MissTargets]

HOT TO TROT

That movie got reviewed, as one of the worst. I thought it was hysterical.

[dead]

Just reading that paragraph, I can tell with absolute certainty that this idiot LOVED that tired, trite "American Beauty" piece of crap.

[Spok]

It's the typical liberal mantra that the only facts of historical significance regarding America involve slavery and segregation, and every commentary on American history that does not center on those issues is a white wash. These people are absolutely obsessed.

[John O]

how could you have a list and miss the top two chick flicks?

Sleepless in Seattle
While you were sleeping

[discostu]

That was a hard list to put together, I try hard to forget that kind of movie even happens. That's basically a list of movies I wish I didn't know exist but I still do. I'd completely forgotten Sleepless and While... until some #$%^ went and reminded me! Thanks loads! ^&*(!

;)

[Pompah]

I kinda figured this little Tinker Bell didn't like the horsey movie.
Thanks for the confirmation.

If the movie is even close to the book it will be a big,big, hit.