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"Where do you find such a woman? Well, not in a bar, Joe. There are millions of such women out there and most likely you'll find them in church. What? You say you don't go to church? Maybe that's half the problem. Maybe that's why guys like Fred end up in divorce court, sometimes more than once."Youre right of course. I found my 36 yr old in church...on a singles christian site of my own denomination, and she is all of those things you described and more. But there is a catch..although she is as virtuous as they come (and slender), she is not the most attractive woman in the world, but her spirit more than makes up for it. I have a sister who has been through 2 divorces (one more on the way) and she and I are like night and day...she almost never goes to church (even though she professes faith and was baptized). She likes to go to bars and "hangout" with her alcoholic yuppie girlfriends..and she wonders where her 28 years went.

But there is a catch..although she is as virtuous as they come (and slender), she is not the most attractive woman in the world, but her spirit more than makes up for it.

The face may get a guy's initial interest, but it's what's behind the face that will keep his interest. After marriage, a plain-but-sweet-tempered woman is your wife, while the beautiful-with-a-bad-attitude woman is just "that b---h I married".

You see all these news stories about guys being caught in infidelity when married or engaged to gorgeous celebrity women, and you hear people on talk radio going on about "why would he stray when he's got such a beautiful wife at home?" Well, the callers only see the face, and not what's behind it.

Gentlemen:

For Windsong: Sir, you say you have found a woman whose "price is above rubies," as the Scriptures say, but she is not the most attractive woman in the world physically. Let me ask, are you the most attractive man in the world? No? Then maybe it's a good match.

For Euro-American Scum: Sir, there appear to be a disproportionate number of she-puppies in your congregation. Yes, even though it's "the most evangelical, conservative, fundamentalist Christian church there is." I wonder why. Is it possible that there is something about the teaching that attracts people who are troubled, or who have a hard heart? Does it appeal to a particular demographic? I'm just throwing questions out because I asked the man who directs our church's family counselling ministry about what you said, and he doesn't have the same experience you did. There are nearly 5000 members in our church, and while there are some real witches, there are no more of them than there are very ugly and troubled men. Divorce occurs in our church, but not at the rate it does in the general population, and not with the rancor.

Tortoise: you are right.

Shekkian: you are right, too. The trouble is, none of us ever know how strong, stable, courageous, righteous, etc. our dates are until life throws us its big punches. That seldom happens during the dating process; it takes place years down the road. By that time, you're married and it's too late.

Bottom line: if you go to church you aren't guaranteed to find a gorgeous, godly, brilliant, cultured, simple-hearted lady who will support you through all adversities, hold down a great job, keep a flawless house, mother your children with sweetness and firmness, entertain your friends, and come after you every night like a mink in heat. But you are very unlikely to find this paragon of feminine virtues outside of church.

Pray.

she is not the most attractive woman in the world, but her spirit more than makes up for it.

In my years, I have found something: Beauty lasts about four months. I've gone out with incredible beauties, even married one. However, beauty lasts about four months. Thereafter, they are just "Sue" or "Tammy" or "Kimberly". The beauty is no longer important or even terribly apparant.

The same goes the other way. If you have a homely woman, the homeliness lasts about four months. Thereafter, they are just "Laura" or "Cindy" or "Tanya". Just people.

And then the goodness within is what matters.