For Windsong: Sir, you say you have found a woman whose "price is above rubies," as the Scriptures say, but she is not the most attractive woman in the world physically. Let me ask, are you the most attractive man in the world? No? Then maybe it's a good match.
For Euro-American Scum: Sir, there appear to be a disproportionate number of she-puppies in your congregation. Yes, even though it's "the most evangelical, conservative, fundamentalist Christian church there is." I wonder why. Is it possible that there is something about the teaching that attracts people who are troubled, or who have a hard heart? Does it appeal to a particular demographic? I'm just throwing questions out because I asked the man who directs our church's family counselling ministry about what you said, and he doesn't have the same experience you did. There are nearly 5000 members in our church, and while there are some real witches, there are no more of them than there are very ugly and troubled men. Divorce occurs in our church, but not at the rate it does in the general population, and not with the rancor.
Tortoise: you are right.
Shekkian: you are right, too. The trouble is, none of us ever know how strong, stable, courageous, righteous, etc. our dates are until life throws us its big punches. That seldom happens during the dating process; it takes place years down the road. By that time, you're married and it's too late.
Bottom line: if you go to church you aren't guaranteed to find a gorgeous, godly, brilliant, cultured, simple-hearted lady who will support you through all adversities, hold down a great job, keep a flawless house, mother your children with sweetness and firmness, entertain your friends, and come after you every night like a mink in heat. But you are very unlikely to find this paragon of feminine virtues outside of church.
Pray.
Sir, there appear to be a disproportionate number of she-puppies in your congregation. Yes, even though it's "the most evangelical, conservative, fundamentalist Christian church there is." I wonder why. Is it possible that there is something about the teaching that attracts people who are troubled, or who have a hard heart?
You make a very insightful observation here. The men who pastor our congregations are hard men who have led hard lives. We have among our pastors former Hells Angels, hard-core drug users, armed robbers, wife beaters, thieves and even some murderers.
Now let me hasten to add, all are saved, and have been for years. They have credibility based on years of selfless service to God by teaching His word from the pulpit, something they are uniquely gifted for. Those who were convicted criminals served hard time, some for many years, and many came to Christ in some of the hardest prisons in the country. And don't think this invalidates them in some way. Ask Chuck Colson about the effectiveness of a prison conversion.
But, these men have a hard shell, and there's not an ounce of compromise in them. And that's a good thing. To paraphrase Barry Goldwater, I would say, "Extremism in the teaching of God's word is no vice. Compromise in the pursuit of self-esteem is no virtue."
But you're right. This type of hard-edged ministry resonates with people who are not unacquainted with violence and street people. Sad to say, there's plenty to go around. However, I would add that our church is national in its scope, indeed world-wide. And even the more sedate (for lack of a better term) congregations in more traditional settings report the phenomenon I described.
There are nearly 5000 members in our church, and while there are some real witches, there are no more of them than there are very ugly and troubled men.
We're at about 13,000 and growing. We figure to have more since we just opened a new massive sanctuary. At no time did I suggest all men were virtuous and saintly and all women were hissing, spitting harpies. This thread is about women so I confined my comments to that topic. Indeed, I would say 75% of the spousal abuse cases that I handled were men abusing women. The guy gets drunk, his wife says something, he belts her.
This was not tolerated under any circumstances, and no pastoral counselor would endorse it or rationalize it. But for those few men -- and they were very few, I'll admit -- who made a heartfelt attempt to reach out in the dark in faith and reform their violent tendencies, they were not strengthened by a wife who would never let them forget it, told everyone they knew long after the incident was passed, threw Scripture in their faces as a weapon to accuse and destroy, and actively sought the next marital candidate before they threw their husbands out of the house. And that did happen. And it happened very frequently.
Divorce occurs in our church, but not at the rate it does in the general population, and not with the rancor.
I don't know if we keep divorce statistics. Usually, the men who are divorced are accused by the ministry of failure to lead their family, blamed for the divorce, and while they are not cast out, they usually leave because the constant pounding they get from the ministry, their brothers and sisters in Christ and their ex-wives is too great to bear. It is heavy, and there is no let up. But the viciousness of the divorces I've been aware of are legendary even by secular standards.
You made some excellent points here, and you got me to thinking. I'm starting to believe that when Jesus comes for His church it may be as much because we've failed to be salt and light than it will be out of love and a fulfillment of prophecy.
We're suppoosed to be evangelizing the world, and we're too exhausted from tearing ourselves apart to do it.
Even so, come quickly Lord Jesus.