DARK DAYS - ENEMY OF THE WEEK (YOU CHOOSE)

Here we go again. Or rather there they go again. Before we could round up the usual suspects, they rounded themselves up, threw themselves into a secure cell, locked the door, and tossed the key into the moat below their prison window. They intend to stay put until George W. Bush is impeached, defeated, and drawn and tie-dyed. The group comprises an ideal mix of Democrat Dems and Democrat hacks: Ted Kennedy, Paul Krugman, Dick Durbin, Paul Krugman, John Kerry, Paul Krugman, and Joe Commissar, Harold Meyerson, and, for sheer gall, Robert Scheer, that panty hose. Have we forgotten anyone? Oh, yes, Paul Krugman.

Though how could we overlook his new mentor, David Broder, who declared that if he loses re-election or is executed or exiled to Devil's Island, George Bush will look back on July 10, 2003, as "Black Thursday," a rather odd thing to say considering Bush was in Africa at the time. What Broder meant was that on that particular news day all the stories about Bush were negative, beginning an ending with WMD and Uranium. In conclusion, Broder emphasized all those stories can't be blamed on liberal media bias. Too true. Blood lust is more a psychological than an ideological condition. This lynch mob left bias behind many forks in the road ago.

Bringing up the rear in the Bush hunts was presidential hopeful Bob Graham. He thought he had his man dead to rights when he found Bush impeachable on the ground of "deceit," which he termed a "five-letter word." Bad mistake. More fuzzy math. Now Sen. Potatoe Head has demonstrated he's no better than vice-presidential material.

New York mayor Michael Bloomberg, a newcomer to this borough, continues to think big locally. In a compromise worthy of Missouri, he will permit wine-sipping at Central Park concerts but outlaw beer drinking at city beaches. Lest anyone suspect snobbery motivated the mayor, next summer he should have the New York Philharmonic perform at Rockaway Beach. And make sure it plays Debussy's "La Mer," which will profit from genuine oceanic acoustics.

Further evidence of spirited compromise was offered by three hopeless Democratic hopefuls, Lieberman, Kucinich, and Gephardt, who appeared on Thursday at the NAACP's Miami convention, three days after failing to passing up the event's Monday presidential forum and thus subjecting themselves to the sort of abuse normally directed at an umpire or referee whose call costs the home team a game. Why did it take them three days to show? Because that's how long it takes to crawl from Washington to Miami on one's hands and needs, provided there are no stops for food or rest.

Democrats on Capitol Hill were detected crawling out of the House chamber when British Prime Minister Tony Blair came calling yesterday. TV cameras did capture some of them in other guises as well during Blair's speech, most of it culled from past remarks by Ronald Reagan. There was Sen. Carl Levin, sound asleep in his easy chair, snoring and wheezing as if he were spending another evening with his wife at the Kennedy Center. Sen. Hillary Clinton did her best squirrel imitation. She's determined we think of her as a cutie. Sorry, ma'am, but you're no Nancy Pelosi, who just hated to stand up to join in the loud applause for Blair. But what choice did she have when the fellow next to her, Rep. Steny Hoyer, the man she defeated to become minority leader, led the way in knee-jerk patriotic reactions to Blair's cheer-leading? (Hoyer's show trial, presumably, will take place in camera.) However, no one could match the imperious disdain displayed by Rep. Maxine Waters as she stood and feigned applause. Poor Tony was never more overmatched in his life.

Judicial activism remains a constant thorn in the suffering Republic's side. It's so bad that a three-judge federal appeals panel last Tuesday gave taxpayers a bonus $3.5 million tax cut. That's the amount the Clinton ex-presidents demanded be paid to them to cover expenses they incurred obstructing and evading the law during their two glorious terms. No way, Josés, replied the panel, at least one of who members must have taken personally the mean things the ex-presidents had done to Kenneth Starr. What goes around comes around, evidently. As appealing as it is, the ruling cannot be appealed.

Meaning Clinton lawyer David Kendall, suddenly $3.5 million poorer, took consolation in the notion that the decision was "good news" by marking an end of the 12-year "partisan Whitewater smoke-and-mirrors investigation." Not so fast. If it were that, the papers would not have buried the story. Anyone see any "Clintons Vindicated" or "Clintons Exonerated" headlines? Sad as it sounds, the three-judge panel essentially found the Clintons' guilty on all charges. They've been fined $3.5 million.

My choice:

Good ol' Cap'n Ted. Commander of the SS Oldsmobile.

"On July 18, 1969 (or the wee hours of July 19), Ted Kennedy drove his car into the water and saved his worthless ass and left Mary Jo Kopechne to drown. Had he been one of us common people and not a member of the deified Kennedy aristocracy (The family that has had so many tragedies - Sob!) he would have been convicted of manslaughter at the very least. Think of this every time you hear this asshole pontificate about justice and the like. I once heard him say he was "morally outraged" at sumpin'. How can one be morally outraged when one has no morals whatsoever?" Expressed most eloquently by GROUCHYOLDCRIPPLE

Thank you very much!

That's the nicest thing that anyone's ever done for me.

It isn't every day

good fortune comes me way!

I never thought the future would be fun for me!

And if I had a bugle

I would blow it to add a sort

o' how's your father's touch.

But since I left me bugle at home

I simply have to say

Thank you very, very, very much!

Thank you for your donation!

Add Al Sharpton to the mix: he received a standing ovation at the NAACP convention for bellowing that he was the only Dem candidate who'd done jail time.

Kerry tried to compete, but his one night in the slammer for a Vietnam war protest came in a weak second to Al's rap sheet.

So here we have a party that wants to impeach a president because of the imprecise wording of one sentence in a speech, but revels in its own lawlessness.

Dark days, indeed.

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