The End Of The Deep End - The swimming pool as you know it is no more (MORFORD)

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 7/9/03 | Mark Morford (the man Freepers LOVE to HATE!)

[MikalM]

So it's not exactly the end of the divine luminous world and it's not exactly as bitterly dire as BushCo smirkingly reaming this nation and gutting schools and the economy and the environment and sex and joy, all slathered with his bald-faced lies about war. No, it's not quite as bad as that.

[ArrogantBustard]

Good Heavens. Save for the gratuitous Bush-bash at the beginning (and the cloying and obnoxious writing style) Miss Morford really nailed this one. Spot on, dudette. Particularly the significance of swimming in the deep end. It meant one had come of age, to a certain extent; it was the dividing line between between "little kid" and "big kid", which means a lot the the 7 year old. Or it did to me, anyway.

[Nick Danger]

Behold the next Andrew Sullivan! The light bulb's gone off, this guy has started a journey that will leave him writing hit pieces on Hillary Clinton before it's over. Right now he's still writing what's popular on Polk Street, but he isn't even going to be able to live there in another five years. He'll think they're all nuts.

Here's a cosmic joke: what if it turns out to be homosexual males who finally blow the whistle on the feminization of America? It could happen. They're about the only ones who have as much clout in the media as the frigging feminists. Cultural war between the gays and the lesbians! Damn, I'd better stock up on popcorn, this could be fun to watch.

[Desdemona]

You've piqued my curiosity. Just what is "deep water disrobing" and does everybody really get to then touch the bottom?

Well, it's best to do it in at least 8 feet of water to simulate the conditions of being stranded in open water. Obviously, have a bathing suit on underneath, but we teach disrobing by having the students jump in the water off a board fully clothed - shoes, belts, pants, button down shirts - and we basically show them how to make floatation devices out of clothing. I.e., blow air into your shirt with it buttoned all the way up and with wet fabric (cotton works best) the air will hold you up. And then we do a whole thing with pants and tying off the legs and gathering the waist and blowing air into it. It's survival stuff. If you can touch the bottom it defeats the purpose of the exercise.

[Dimensio]

Bleh.
Here in Louisville, there's a "Lakeside Swim Club". Very, very large pool, size of, well, a lake (not a great lake, but it's a formiddable size as it is). I have to wonder what might have become of it as a result of all of this crap.

[ClearCase_guy]

either way, they are deep-sixing the deep ends all over the country ...

I think Barney Frank is behind this whole thing.

[NeoCaveman]

Mordford ping.

Believe it or not if you editted out the 'Bushco' stuff it wouldn't be a half bad article.

[SoothingDave]

Interesting. And not nearly as kinky as I was imagining. :-)

SD

[Constitution Day]

Wow, I just read it and you're right!
S/he is 'spot-on' in this one except for the obligatory sneering at the GOP.

Even a broken, screamingly gay clock is right on occasion.

[goose1]

Ban pools save the children

[Desdemona]

Interesting. And not nearly as kinky as I was imagining.

Considering we teach it to kids from 8 years old to lifeguarding class, no, it's not kinky.

[Republicus2001]

it's because no one will insure homes with diving boards...

[Sender]

LOST: Small mangy yappy dog, barks 24/7, not very bright, can't see very well, often seen humping other dogs. Answers to the name Morford. Reward if you keep him.

[snooker]

Hatred is a disease. This guy needs professional help.

[martian_22]

The author is a good example. See what happens when you go jumping off the deep end?

[tet68]

I guess they still teach drownproofing in the services.
At Parris Island to pass you had to stay in the pool
(ALL DEEP END) for an hour, (at least it seems like an hour in my memory) fully clothed and with a handy piece of steel pipe slung around your neck. (in case of emergency you could pretend it was your rifle.) The helpful instructors
had long poles to help you stay away from the edge.

Almost as much fun as learning to board a landing Craft.
Just remember to keep your hands on the verticals and you'll be alright.

[ccmay]

making them into born-again Republicans.

How ironic, given that the dirty filthy trial-lawyer parasites did this to America, and they are virtually all Democrats.

-ccm

[Brett66]

He mentioned sex in the first sentence. I don't really care about reading his weird columns anymore, I just like to see how long he can go in his columns before he mentions something about sex or orgasms. So far his record is two sentences.

[A_perfect_lady]

... schools and the economy and the environment and sex and joy... foreboding and scary and magnificent ... magic and dark and transformative and ...

Oh, lordy, worse even than usual. Repetitive and mannered and pedantic and pretentious and... I've never yet made it through one of his columns.

[ccmay]

Catering to the insurance lobby is absolutely KILLING this country.

They are pikers compared to the trial lawyers, the greatest threat to liberty and economic progress this country has ever seen. The plaintiff's bar are filth that must be destroyed.

This has to happen not just on a societal/legislative level either, but on a personal level. It must be seen as a source of shame for a family if their kid goes to law school, just like in Asian countries.

My kid met another kid at school whose dad is a plaintiff's lawyer, and it gave me great pleasure to tell the dad that my son would pick up the wrong values at his house and couldn't come over to play. Scumbags. God Almighty do I hate the b*st*rds.

-ccm

[Coleus]

Saw something similar in the news the other day, they are doing this all over the country expecially in the inner cities. White man can't jump, black man can't swim.

And, lets face it, with more swimming area available, you can fit more people, look at any inner city municipal pool, most are in the shallow end and the deep end is relatively empty. Now they can use the entire pool for cooling off, play and swimming. So much for advanced swimming and lifeguard lessons. I hope the Y's don't change.