Young men are running from marriage

Orlando Sentinel ^ | 07/02/2003 | Susan Reimer

[Tank-FL]

Other than a 29-inch waist and a full head of hair, there isn't much to recommend the twentysomething male.

He is footloose and fancy-free -- except for the fact that he is likely to be living with his parents. It takes him longer to leave home than his women friends, and he is more likely to return.

He is, of course, sexually active and therefore at increased risk of unmarried fatherhood, but he doesn't especially like kids. He considers them a financial burden and an irritant in any relationship with the mother.

He is openly suspicious that a woman would try to trap him with a pregnancy or that a one-night stand would result in a pregnancy and a long-term parenting relationship with a woman he doesn't care about and doesn't want to marry. This fear, however, doesn't keep him from regularly waking up with a stranger.

He has no biological clock because he can father children well past middle age, so he is in no hurry to marry. He is looking for a "soul mate," and he believes there is someone out there whom he is destined to love.

[stevem]

Although I met me wife at college (evening classes, where people who actually want to be at college are there -- day college folks are usually there because Mom and Dad are paying).

I guess I went to college on the GI Bill, although I was married at the time. I think you have hit on a couple places where you meet folks...church...school...

It might help to nudge things along by engaging in extra-curriculars, volunteer work, committees and so on. I was always sort of an independent cuss so I stayed away from fraternities and such. You can also meet people at work, although caution is in order these days in that venue.

The thing is, you have to be places to meet people. You have to be open to friends and friends of friends...and relatives. That's the way it's always been. Then you can start the most pleasurable of any experience in life. You can get to really know another person.

[MalcolmS]

>>>So why use a condom at all then? <<<

Good question. From a personal point of view, 90-97% is offers some protection, particularly over the short term.

However, from the point of view of the community, 97% effectiveness leads to a great many 'surprises'.

>>>My point is, if guys were truly scared about becoming fathers, they'd make sure there was no chance in hell it would happen until they're ready. The same thing with women. <<<

Good point. However, as far as I know, the only way to ensure this is abstinence.

A couple of years ago, some friends were surprised with a pregnancy. Why the surprise? Well, after 3 kids he'd had a vasectomy five years previously. He said he was told the chances of this happening after so long were 1:20,000. He should have bought lottery tickets that day.

[Noumenon]

Note to feminists: when what you're marketing is crap, don't be surprised if no one's buying.

[Paleo Conservative]

If men do not band together to object to the constant humiliation from TV commercials, and corporate favoritism, they will end up being second class citizens slaves for life.

[Rudder]

There used to be good reasons for men to marry...before my time, however.

[MissAmericanPie]

You have listed three guys that you know, not a big sampling, yourself included. Give some thought to the population of your city/town. Or even to the class you graduated with. How many are now married, how many single.

I think you know more married people from your graduating class than you do single, depending on your age. If you just graduated sure there are still many singles. If you are 25+ most of your friends are married now, I'm willing to bet.

[Scenic Sounds]

When I was younger, men did (on the average) get married at a younger age. I don't see a lot of teenage marriages anymore, but having kids early can sure "grow you up" quickly. On the other hand, having kids early can free up time for parents in their forties.

I was married at nineteen and finished having my two children when I was twenty. My older brother started having children when he was 47. So, as it turns out, his two kids are about the same age as my grandson.

My brother's happy with the way he did things and I'm very happy with the way I did things. So, who knows what's best?

[Abogado]

Unfortunately, in today's society, males do not have many positive reasons justifying marriage. On the other hand, there are significant reasons justifying males avoidance of marriage. I.e. costly divorce, continued promiscuity, casual sex, encouraged lack of responsibility (females encouraged to either abort and/or to raise and support children without relying on males), etc. Not to mention the attacks on the institution of marriage itself attempting to redefine marriage as only a temporary legal contract.

[Ta Wee]

If men do not band together to object to the constant humiliation from TV commercials, and corporate favoritism, they will end up being second class citizens slaves for life.


Do you have any idea how whiney and UNMANLY this sounds???

Go review the presentation of women in the 1950s and 1960s on tv and in movies. They were portrayed commonly as witless, prone to tripping during a chase scene, and incapable of defending themselves even if they were holding a loaded gun.

Somehow, a lot of girls grew up seeing that and realized it was entertainment BAD ENTERTAINMENT, and they did not take it to heart.

[A_perfect_lady]

One thing feminists failed to take into consideration - man can make choices too.

In fairness, we should remember the no-fault divorce, wherein a man could dump his wife of 20 years for a new, young, trophy wife, and leave the aging homemaker twisting in the wind with no job skills. This phenomenon precedes the truly angry twist that feminism took in the 1960s and contributed to it substantially. In other words, one thing that men failed to take into consideration when trading in Betty for Jennifer: women can make choices too.

[MattAMiller]

Somebody got dumped.

[trisham]

What is the answer, especially if the 20- and 30-year-old male is such poor marriage material? Popenoe is cautiously hopeful.

"We are beginning in this nation to talk about marriage more. . . . And there is agreement that living with two biological married parents is the gold standard for the well-being of children.

"We can only live with so much turmoil, and people may wake up and realize we have to work harder toward family stability."

Above are the closing paragraphs of this article, which are much more hopeful than the opening one.

There are plenty of nice men out there, who are willing to make a commitment to nice women.

[Iris7]

I'm proud of you, cousin.

Respectfully,

Paul Callahan

[Farnham]

Interesting how EVERYTHING is the fault of women.

Yes it is.....Why do ya'll do that?

[A_perfect_lady]

Now, as a single gal, this article scares me.

I've seen your picture. You have nothing to fear. (Plus, you have a dog. Men like dogs. Try finding love with 4 cats, boy, you weed 'em out quick, let me tell ya.)

[Ta Wee]

Interesting how EVERYTHING is the fault of women.

Yes it is.....Why do ya'll do that?


We are all servants of Satan. We hold secret meetings in women's restrooms. Why do you think we go there in groups?

[Abogado]

"What SANE woman would want to take on one of these prizes and be his caretaker for him the way his mama was???"

Those same "sane" females who primarailly select a male based on looks (or material things) - i.e. the majority of young females in America today.

[Chancellor Palpatine]

Looks like another meeting of the FR he-man, real man women haters club has convened.

Enjoy!

[Chancellor Palpatine]

Whats wrong with women selecting a man based on looks and material things? Should they pick ugly, underachieving losers?

[ffusco]

Very few women worth marrying IMHO. The good ones are taken, The ones that date are tramps.

Find me a virtuous woman- I already have the ring.