Young men are running from marriage

Orlando Sentinel ^ | 07/02/2003 | Susan Reimer

[Tank-FL]

Other than a 29-inch waist and a full head of hair, there isn't much to recommend the twentysomething male.

He is footloose and fancy-free -- except for the fact that he is likely to be living with his parents. It takes him longer to leave home than his women friends, and he is more likely to return.

He is, of course, sexually active and therefore at increased risk of unmarried fatherhood, but he doesn't especially like kids. He considers them a financial burden and an irritant in any relationship with the mother.

He is openly suspicious that a woman would try to trap him with a pregnancy or that a one-night stand would result in a pregnancy and a long-term parenting relationship with a woman he doesn't care about and doesn't want to marry. This fear, however, doesn't keep him from regularly waking up with a stranger.

He has no biological clock because he can father children well past middle age, so he is in no hurry to marry. He is looking for a "soul mate," and he believes there is someone out there whom he is destined to love.

[Chancellor Palpatine]

We are all servants of Satan. We hold secret meetings in women's restrooms. Why do you think we go there in groups?

Your secret is out - I knew it! LOL

[stevem]

The ones my age all seem to be out drinking and acting up...not something that interests me. Maybe that's not true of every area, but it IS frustrating.

I think you WILL fine them in every area. I used to work with women that met guys in bars...G-d as my witness. I used to tell them if you meet guys in bars you are going to meet guys who like to drink.

My son lived in a dorm and later an apartment with different guys in college that were, in my estimation, starting to be drunks. He also had other roommates that were not.

Sometimes I think the test is what happens after you meet someone. I always thought it was fun to go to ball games...bowling...bike hikes...water skiing. And, yes, I would have your odd beer now and then, sometimes more than good sense allowed. I like to think my kids enjoy life along the same path, although I have stopped suggesting how they live their lives. I can only hope the wife and I did good work up 'til now.

This is incredibly trite. If you keep high standards, and keep living your life in exemplary ways, and keep moving about, there is a lad out there searching high and low to find you. It's inevitable you will find each other simultaneously.

[FrankR]

"If a woman doesn't locate a man to be her husband, it's because she sells herself cheap."

Exactly.

It's this cheapness and the decline in the number of women who have a little "class" about them that contributes to this phenomenon.

Women have traditionally been the "regulators" of civilized society. They have regulated the behavior of males by simply being a Lady. She didn't bow to the wishes of every male suitor that came her way.

Feminism told women they should be "...equal to men.". This is true, in job opportunity, equal rights, etc. But many confused "equal to" to mean "exactly like" men.

Now women prowl the streets looking for sex, which is nothing new, except now they're more bold and forward about it.

Feminism has backfired on women because of one little factor not considered...human nature.

No man wants a wife that acts like one of the guests (or audience members) on Maury Povich or Jerry Springer, where women are referred to, and act like, "Ho's".

I am well past dating age, but in this day of diseases brought on by perverted and unprotected sex, it would be a scary thing.

Women need to re-develop some self-respect. A man who would break up with a woman because she won't "put out", is (a) not a suitable candidate for marriage, and; (b) is not "in love", but "in LUST". So, this article doesn't surprise me much, if I was a young man today, I would probably not get married either. Women are the keepers of the future, and many of them are doing a pretty lousy job of it.

[A_perfect_lady]

Interesting how EVERYTHING is the fault of women. If men decide to be boys forever, it's the woman's fault. This is hogwash, because not all men remain boys indefinitely.

Yes. As I just told another poster (and am expecting flames any second), much of the angry wave of feminism circa 1960s was a result of the no-fault divorce, wherein men who had worked and had money dumped their long-time home-making wives (who had married them under the timeless assumption that he would provide for her all her life and in return, she would tend his home and bear and rear his children.) The term "trophy wife" precedes the term "pro-choice," guys. Men backed out on their responsibilities BEFORE women turned on them. This is not Eve's fault. Adam bailed on her first.

[ffusco]

Whats wrong with women selecting a man based on looks and material things?

Because that's shallow, vain and narcissistic.

[LiteKeeper]

SITREP

[A_perfect_lady]

How many 30+ guys do you know that are single or have never been married?

I know a LOT of them, and I'm here in fly-over country. Of course, it is a college town....

[Chad Fairbanks]

Actually, I like being married. Finding a woman I can annoy for the rest of my life is great!

[fooman]

You are right about the modern approach to sex.

Men know that they only have a 40% chance of success.

And mena and women are equal in all regards, except in divorce court where men are more equal.

[Chancellor Palpatine]

Ah - so they need to pick men based on flab, pale, zitty skin, and ability to spout rightwing rants at inopportune time and places?

And another question - are you inclined to seek out women based on looks, manners and styles of dress? Do you ever look at a woman on TV or in print and think "Wow! She's really hot!"?

[fooman]

You are right about the modern approach to sex.

Men know that they only have a 40% chance of success.

And mena and women are equal in all regards, except in divorce court where WOMEN are more equal.

[DanTheAdmin]

Okay, settle down everyone. This is just more drivel from Susan Reimer - a typical Baltimore Sun, very-far-left, commentator. She’s hates men, whines about family life and blames all her problems on conservatives. It’s a shame that Baltimore only has one paper and it’s such a blathering rag.

[cyborg]

Yes it is so... I am 29. I am of an average women's size between 12 and 14, and a meditterean appearance. I am very well educated. Men (more like boys) my age are divided into two camps. They want a skinny woman with no features, or they want a J.LO with the body and sexuality to match. When I tell some guys that I am saving myself for marriage, they go. 'oh that's great. wonderful.' then they take off. I live on Long Island, and if you do not either look like rap slut or a guido/jewish princess you cannot get a guy to look at you. New York City is even WORSE where the women dress like they're in Sex and the City, and they're thin.
Men do not seem to cut women any slack when it comes to appearance but we are supposed to overlook their potbelly. I blame this trend on women also, who are very loose with their sexuality trying to pursue some feminist crappy ideal (that many feminists do not adhere to themselves). Do men still pay for a woman on a date? Now that women are 'doing it for themselves'...

[bigeasy_70118]

If you are a man between the ages of 22 and 40, there is absolutely no reason to get married.

Women are a pain in the ass and they are so easy these days, that you can get some whenever you want. Women brought this on themselves.

Keep watching sex and the city, it really is a bell weather for the women's rights movement.

[Wilhelm Tell]

He is footloose and fancy-free -- except for the fact that he is likely to be living with his parents.

Kind of sounds like Peter Pan became a playboy. Isn't that what we are teaching young people -- that they can have the priviliges of adulthood but the responsibilities of children?

[rintense]

Ah! I *do* have 4 cats! LOL!!!! Finding a good man is really hard. The creepy ones are easy.

[A_perfect_lady]

Easy, church (or synagogue in my case). Although I met me wife at college...

Ah, one o' them Irish Jews, are ye? Top o' the mornin' to ye! ;^)

[ffusco]

I disagree-Men are men and have almost the same expectations as always- women have changed. They broke the social contract. Women have decided that they have all kinds of choices from traditional, to have it all. Men still are expected to be Men.

So far no woman has offered to pay my bills while I stay at home, No womewn has ever said "save the men and children first", and I don't know of many Men's victories in the Courts- Any women paying child support for another's kid?

[Drew68]

He is living an extended adolescence -- an adult-olescence -- and every immature, irresponsible, self-absorbed thing he does is reinforced by the latest issue of his favorite men's magazine.

I am this man and Susan Reimer of the Baltimore Sun can blow me.

Except I don't live with my folks and haven't fathered any children (none that I've been told about anyways).

[stevem]

Women need to re-develop some self-respect.

I guess I think the goal of men AND women is the same today as it was when Aristotle first tried to explain it: Happiness. While I think it takes supreme self confidence to go against the views of your peers, I think there have always been lasses in life that didn't accept the nonsense of Betty Friedan, or later, Gloria Steinam. I find it interesting that, in the end, even Gloria Steinam didn't accept the nonsense of Gloria Steinam.

Anyway, my advice to my son was the same as it was to my daughters (to the extent they were ever interested), that there is fine and decent young lady out there that will make a fine and decent partner. It's your job to go out and find her. The way to go about it is the same for both men and women.

There have always been women that don't come cheap. God willing, there always will be. Think of how great it is, though, when you capture one of your very own. The reason they don't come cheap is they were made to be a treasure.