Three Reasons to Pause Before Taking Your Husband's Name

The Wall Street Journal ^ | Thursday, June 26, 2003 | TERRI CULLEN

[presidio9]

Like the first time you hear your new husband call you "my wife," or the first time someone refers to you as "Mrs.," signing your newly acquired married name is something some women look forward to their entire lives.

But there can be drawbacks to adopting your husband's last name, particularly if your hubby-to-be comes to the marriage laden with some unfortunate financial or legal baggage. As women enter marriages later in their lives, often with more established careers and greater assets, they are facing far more complicated financial choices than their moms and grandmoms. The decision to take your husband's name -- once a given -- is one of them.

[dark_lord]

For a young woman, refusing to take her husband's name is in effect the same as choosing to take her father's name. That said, for an older woman who uses her name in business or a profession there are good reasons for retaining that name for that business and profession.

[Prof Engineer]

But in divorce -- and let's be practical, it's a possibility in any marriage -- it's often the woman who gets the shaft, even if she was more careful with the family's money than her husband.

Barbara Striesand

[LizardQueen]

I kept mine when we got married. I got married late, had so much stuff to change (student loans, auto loan, small business registrations, credit cards, etc, etc, etc) that it was just too daunting. Plus, it was *my* name. I'm happy I kept it, and hubby didn't care one way or another.

LQ

[bourbon]

My cousin got married two weeks ago, and she decided to keep her maiden name "professionally." I thought this was pretty funny considering my cousin is 24 years old and unemployed.

Oh, well. I guess the upshot is that nobody will ever have to ask if she's a feminist.

[Phantom Lord]

While I didn't see it mentioned in the article, I will use this opportunity to state my #1 rule in life...

NEVER, EVER, Under any circumstances trust a women with three names or a hypenated name. NEVER!

Some Examples...

Hillary Rodham Clinton
Carol Mosley-Braun (who is now Carol Mosley Braun)

I will let you add some of your own.

[presidio9]

Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Joyce Kerns Goodwin

[presidio9]

Oh, and how could I forget:

Sandra Day O'connor

[jwalburg]

Danielle Crittendon pointed out that by refusing to take your husband's name, you often cut yourself off permanently, by word anyway, from any future kids.

The kids usually take the father's last name. So you're Janet Smith and you introduce your kids as Tommy and Susan Jones. Then you have to explain every time.

Or you hyphenate. I'm Janet Bosnia-Herzogovenia, this is my husband Jack Herzogovenia, and my children, Tommy and Susan Herzogovenia. People rarely think about how their names might later affect their kids.

[over3Owithabrain]

What name would you give the children? Just curious, no offense intended.

[doc30]

Some women I went to college with decided to keep their maiden names. This was primarily for professional reasons since all the papers they published as grad students had their maden names in the author lists. WHen applying for jobs, many employers will use a citation index to look up how often the person's work was cited. Changing names causes a mismatch that causes more hoops to jump through. My wife, who is Japanese, kept her maiden name because of the hassle changing her passport and visa with BCIS (formerly known as the INS).

[labowski]

It seems like almost every woman I've met lately that is divorced and has not gotten married again has chosen to keep their ex-husbands last name. I find it odd that someone will get a divorce and then retain the last name of the man they divorced.

[LizardQueen]

Any kids would've had his last name, no big deal there other than some likely confusion on the part of people we'd meet. But due to an accident of biology we never had any, so it's not an issue.

LQ

[NeoCaveman]

Ruth Bader Ginsberg

[Dead Dog]

It's indicitave of a woman afraid of "losing her sense of self". It is a public statement of selfishness.

[LizardQueen]

It's indicitave of a woman afraid of "losing her sense of self". It is a public statement of selfishness.

So you'd be ok with changing yours, then?

LQ

[goodnesswins]

The MAIN reason I believe a woman (95% according to this article) takes her husbands name is for the CHILDREN....which this article does not mention (I realize it had a bent toward financial issues). But, that's a fact. I did NOT take my husband's name...and it has been interesting, and advantageous at times....but it was NOT for financial reasons, that's for sure. (We have no children between us.)

I have, at times suggested that I take his name, but he's against it now...for numerous reasons. He finds it hilarious to be called Mr. "Smith" (my maiden name) by some...but it does NOT bother him at all. And, his mother always addresses us as Mr. and Mrs. "Jones"....by his name....and I do NOT care one bit. I use my maiden name for business/professional things....and married name for personal/family things (drycleaners, vet, etc.) and....when I don't want my neighbors to know EVERYTHING about me....LOL. (For instance...Those letters to the Editor.)

[RMDupree]

An easy explanation for that is if there are children from the failed marriage, it is better to have the same last name as they do.

[goodnesswins]

I think that is VERY odd, also....when I divorced, and remarried, I went BACK to my MAIDEN name.

[Tall_Texan]

For women who marry the wrong guy, this is good advice. But a lot of women are only too eager to change names, not for love, but in order to *hide* from old debts, old boyfriends, old reputations, etc.

Changing surnames is, for some, like changing hair color.