Three Reasons to Pause Before Taking Your Husband's Name

The Wall Street Journal ^ | Thursday, June 26, 2003 | TERRI CULLEN

[presidio9]

Like the first time you hear your new husband call you "my wife," or the first time someone refers to you as "Mrs.," signing your newly acquired married name is something some women look forward to their entire lives.

But there can be drawbacks to adopting your husband's last name, particularly if your hubby-to-be comes to the marriage laden with some unfortunate financial or legal baggage. As women enter marriages later in their lives, often with more established careers and greater assets, they are facing far more complicated financial choices than their moms and grandmoms. The decision to take your husband's name -- once a given -- is one of them.

[mikrofon]

My wife gladly took my name after our wedding -- in fact, she continues to take my name in vain at every opportunity...

Also, I thought that women were supposed to lose their hyphen when they matured (or something like that)??

[talleyman]

Thank you for clarifying the distinctions. We could do with a bit more of the "old-fashioned".

[Dead Dog]

The hyphen is like training wheels.

[Xenalyte]

Always happy to do what I can to advance the cause of gentility!

[lorrainer]

Camilla Parker Bowles

[Question_Assumptions]

I am so annoyed that I used to work in the Rutgers FAS Dean's office across from David Popenoe's office and I never realized he had such conservative views on marriage and family. I wish I had spent some time talking to this guy but when working in academia, I'd just assume that everyone was a liberal until proven otherwise.

[plusone]

LOL!!! I suppose another safe way would be, "I agree with you; idiots"... Then again, I wonder about myself even on a good day...

[M. Thatcher]

I find it odd that someone will get a divorce and then retain the last name of the man they divorced.

Not odd; practical. My two kids had his surname, and I had established a decade and a half professional reputation. Besides, the name I divorced was "Stupid F#cking B#tch," his name for me during the marriage. That, I got rid of when I booted the jerk. Don't miss it, or him.

[T Minus Four]

I find it odd that someone will get a divorce and then retain the last name of the man they divorced.

I did it. And not only that, I kept that name when I remarried. Yes, odd, but it had been my name for so long, I liked it, and I didn't want to go through the hassle of changing it.

My new hubby was a little weird with it at first, then decided it didn't matter. He was certainly well-assured that I wasn't clinging to my ex in some twisted way:-)

[jethropalerobber]

I find it odd that someone will get a divorce and then retain the last name of the man they divorced.

it does seem strange.
my mother-in-law did this and she explained that after 20 some years of being Jane Doe, she felt like Doe was just a big part of who she was. i suppose that she also was not all together confident that her second marriage would last 20 years.

[Saundra Duffy]

Hyphenate

[jethropalerobber]

I'm Janet Bosnia-Herzogovenia, this is my husband Jack Herzogovenia, and my children, Tommy and Susan Herzogovenia. People rarely think about how their names might later affect their kids.

there is another way:
Jack Bosnia Herzogovenia
Janet Bosnia Herzogovenia
Tommy Bosnia Herzogovenia
Susan Bosnia Herzogovenia

this is essential what my wife and i have done with our family. and on the surface, it appears no different than the traditional way - so people are not confused by it.

[jethropalerobber]

Last but not least are the women who P. Whip their husbands into taking the WOMEN's last name. This is the most pathetic.

i did that, or rather she took my name AND i took hers. but not because she demanded it - i just thought it was the best way to reflect our union. guess i'm not much for pointless traditions.

I just love how people pick and choose what is most convenient for them, instead of taking some responsibility, going the distance.

whatever - been married 8 years and going strong...

[autoresponder]

I thought that quote was made by Patty F. Heinz Kerryberg.....

[autoresponder]

Janet F. Shalala-Reno

[GrandMoM]

BUMP

[autoresponder]

Let's keep it logical and also add an F. middle initial to all libs and dems names for ID and humorous purposes:

THE EVOLUTION OF A NAME:

1946 - Miss Hillary Rodham
197? - Ms. Hillary Rodham Clinton
2000 - Mrs. Hillary Clinton
2003 - Sen. Hillary F. Rodham-Clinton

[William Terrell]

How long can a woman keep adding names to the hyphen until the result becomes absurd?

When Betty Jones married Bill Anderson, she became Betty Jones-Anderson. They had a girl, Alice. Alice got married to Bob Lester and became Alice Jones-Anderson-Lester. Their daughter, June, met Steve Madison-Stanhope and became June Jones-Anderson-Lester-Madison-Stanhope.

It must stop somewhere, which means it is labored and unwieldy to begin with, and incapable of becoming a societal custom. In my point of view, anything which has a natural future of unworkability and chaos if taken to it's logical conclusion is eventually destructive to some part of the balance of society.

Having a society provides security; women are security conscious to the point of not even questioning it's ultimate necessity. So, such practices are destructive to a woman's basic needs. This, to me, is crazy.

[jwalburg]

after 20 some years of being Jane Doe, she felt like Doe was just a big part of who she was.

Makes you wonder if women who decide to take their husband's name might grow into IT in a few years and have it become part of them if given a chance.