That's handy... A combination toothbrush & marital aid.
Posted on 06/24/2003 7:16:01 PM PDT by UnklGene
As the old saying goes, "Ignore your teeth, and they'll go away." Here are some helpful hints for keeping that smile bright and healthy for years to come:
Maintaining an entire mouthful of 32 healthy teeth can be a daunting task. Instead, just focus on 10 or 12 of your favorites. Toothbrush technology has made remarkable leaps in recent years. Select a toothbrush so advanced, you have no clue how to use it. If, while flossing, your gums begin to bleed, give them at least six months to heal before attempting to floss again. Befriend a tiny African bird with whom you can develop a symbiotic relationship in which he picks fragments of food from your teeth. To reduce wear and tear on your teeth, stick to soft foods like pudding and frosting. Contrary what today's kids think, it is not cool to have Shane MacGowan teeth. Brushing should always be done up and down, not with violent stabbing motions. If you wear dentures, avoid soaking them in Coca-Cola overnight. Brush in the morning and before bed, as well as before and after every meal. Quit your job if necessary. Remember those red tablets they used to pass out at school that, when chewed, revealed the invisible plaque on your teeth? Those were so cool. Avoid patronizing dentists who received their degrees from the University Of Berlin Dental School between 1932 and 1945. If Toothopolis is threatened by the Cavity Creeps, immediately activate the alarm that shouts, "Cre-est!... Cre-est!" An electric toothbrush is an excellent choice if you are such a lazy schmuck that you can't even move a toothbrush up and down. Dentists have built an entire industry on the perception that they and they alone can provide dental care. Come on, use your common sense.
That's handy... A combination toothbrush & marital aid.
My dad (who is a dentist) says that the over-the-counter treatments are dangerous because leaving the whitener on your teeth too long allows the chemical to penetrate all the way through the tooth, which will cause some sort of weakening of the tooth structure, and that is the real problem with the whitening craze.
If he were isolated on a desert island, and could take either floss or a toothbrush, which would he take?
(After flossing for the last ten years, I'd take the floss. I've had ZERO tooth problems since I started flossing every day.)
Definitely, take the floss. You can build a toothbrush out of just about anything, while it is almost impossible to find strong, light cord in nature. You can use floss to tie a raft together, hang meat, build a shelter, etc.
Well, if you aren't the model of a modern Major General!
Well, I heard one day a gentleman say that criminals, who are cut in two, can hardly feel the fatal steel, and so are slain, are slain without much pain. If this is true, it's jolly for you.
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