Move on, they said, but the Clintons didn't

Star Tribune ^ | June 16, 2003 | James Lileks

[presidio9]

If the attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon truly changed the world, why are we talking about Bill and Monica again?

Nothing sums up the curdled frivolity of that bygone reign of abasement like the tale of the thong-snapper and the priapic narcissist she loved. Move on! we were told. Move on! they cried. Well, we have. But look who's still trotting alongside singing me me me me me.

One can't blame Hillary for wanting to tell her story -- and to get it out of the way now. But who expects to hear the entire story? Of course she isn't going to tell us everything; you'd be appalled if she did.

Nevertheless you cannot help wondering if her descriptions leave something out -- when she says that his late-night admission of the affair left her gasping for breath, you think: Well, yes, if you're out of shape, thrashing someone within an inch of his life is going to leave you a little winded.

So no matter what she admits, questions remain. If you're inclined to care. The real issue her book raises is the extent to which the Clintons still polarize the nation.

The reason is simple: They are the ultimate boomers. They're embraced by those who regard the '60s generation as the finest manifestation of humanity. And they're cursed by those who read the demographer's description of the "pig in a python" and rooted for the python.

To the former group, hearing Hillary and Katie Couric giggle about the sensuous nature of Bill Clinton's hands is proof of their generational bona fides. You wouldn't hear Mamie Eisenhower talking about Ike's cute butt, after all. To the boomer-haters, hearing the senator from New York simper about Bill Clinton's elegant digits is slightly preferable to having cottage cheese dumped down your trousers.

It is difficult to reconcile these two reactions. And that's why Hillary Clinton probably won't be president. It's not that she's not smart enough, or tough enough. But too many people just plain hate her guts. To many, her smiley, kindly book-tour persona is a Botox mask, a meek and mild cookie-baking Hillary who says "my goodness" and "gosh."

Plus she has baggage. Six-plus feet of steel-haired, sax-playing, intern-grabbing baggage. As she once remarked, buy one, get two -- but now the equation works in the other direction. Does America want Bill Clinton back in the White House?

For that matter, does Bill Clinton want Bill Clinton back in the White House? He wouldn't get to sit in the big chair. He'd be down the hall with nothing to do, drumming his fingers on the desk. Paparazzi would freeze every moment he looked wide-eyed at a sweet young thing. Those high-buck speaking fees? Forget about it. One can easily imagine him putting the kibosh on Hillary's presidential bid: Honey, it would just plain cramp mah style.

Her reaction to that remark will be in her second autobiography, "On My Own," by Hillary Rodham, published in 2029. If the interviewers ask why she no longer appends "Clinton" to her name, the longtime, much-loved senator from New York will issue a steely smile -- and kindly suggest that we all just move on. After all, she did, when she legally shed his name in 2014.

She can still see his hands signing the divorce arrangement. Those long, lovely hands.

[buffyt]

Great read! Thanks for posting it!

[martin_fierro]

the sensuous nature of Bill Clinton's hands

Spare me. He's got flaccid, sissy hands.

[presidio9]

It's not that she's not smart enough, or tough enough. But too many people just plain hate her guts.

DING-DING-DING!!! We have a winner!

[moneyrunner]

bttt

[jjm2111]

I don't even think that she's that smart. Cunning, perhaps. She's very cunning. But she is no genius and neither is Billy Jeff.

[FastCoyote]

"It's not that she's not smart enough, or tough enough. But too many people just plain hate her guts. DING-DING-DING!!! We have a winner! "

---

The other inciteful thing is that Hillary has to run with Bill as baggage, stealing the limelight. No way she gets elected (though she will get nominated). I breathe easier.

[presidio9]

Never turn your back on a growling dog, and never underestimate a Clinton. She got herself into Yale Law School. She's smart. And evil.

[Eric in the Ozarks]

Sometime in the next 12-18 months, another awful (but true) story about the Clintons will slither out for public consumption. There are too many publishers with plenty of advance money, and too many people who've been burned by the Clintons who have stories to tell.

[ricpic]

The point about the drag weight Bubba would be if she were to run in 2008 is a good one. Divorce in 2005 or 2006?

[Pan_Yans Wife]

Divorcing him now is too little, too late.

Besides, she can't divorce him... the two of them have too many secrets to hide.

[Publius6961]

If you're inclined to care.

I'm not. I don't.

I just wish they would go away.
Ans stay away.

I have no value whatsoever for anything dealing with them.
If FR had a filter deleting anything having the words Hilary or Clinton, I would be very happy.

Why do we have to keep reading this crap?
Pro or con?

[CyberAnt]

This is such a great point. People try to equate intellectual smarts with practical common sense.

I will give her the intellectual smarts though because she can rattle off legislative points like they were just ordinary parts of her speech. That takes study and comprehension of what you're studying.

However, Hitlery has NO common sense!! If she did, she would never have allowed her LYING husband in a court room.

Also ... Hitlery is still unaware she doesn't own the media anymore. The latest flap over her book proves that. A member of the staff of her publisher has now admitted they DID NOT PRINT 1 MIL BOOKS - reason: no where to store them. The leak that they were printing 300,000 more was probably just to add to the 25,000 or so they printed initially.

A few years ago, this information would never have surfaced - but today, there is no way Hitlery can get away with this. She may be able to win the nomination (because the dems are power hungry and they will mistake her ability to get it for them), but I agree with Susan Estrich that Hil will cause a counter movement on the right such as the world has never seen. James is right - people just plain hate her.

[beckett]

Lileks is fantastic. Never heard of him until the internet came along. He is a great humorist and surveyor of the culture. And an astute political observer.

But I do disgree with him about Slick Willy. The Sinkmaster would enjoy another go-round in the WH, even if Hillary was the titular head of the show. Willy just loves those cameras, and all that attention. His self-absorption can't get the fix it needs in Chappaqua. Only the big house at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave can provide that.

[foreshadowed at waco]

Anything is better than those flabby thighs.