Sharing the Blame for Fatherless Kids

CNSNews.com ^ | June 11, 2003 | Linda Chavez

[glory]

Amen to that from experience unfortunately!

[netmilsmom]

How are ya!!! Glad to see you on the thread!

[radiohead]

<My mother was awarded custody of us kids, but dad had visitation. He never bothered to take advantage of that. ...Dad never paid a dime.

this is the usual situation.

when i practiced, i handled my share of divorce and custody cases. i know that most women do not get anywhere near their full court-ordered support. men also, especially if they remarry, tend to forget the kids from the first marriage and visitation drops markedly.

also, at least for the women i dealt with, they were not married to drugged out losers, but to guys they were just tired of.

i know men get screwed, and i am often tempted to go back into practice just on behalf of men's rights (i'm a female). however, i have to state the truth, which is statistically, most women rarely see much support. after awhile, men's protests about ongoing court battles notwithstanding, the woman gives up, goes her own way and either goes on welfare, gets remarried, or gets a job, realizing that she's going to have to support herself and the kids.

if i were still in practice, i don't think i would handle divorces. no fault makes it too easy, too thoughtless, esp. where children are involved.

my own father was career air force. the only way my mother got any money was because the govt. took it out of his check. the few times that i saw my father (and for most of my life he lived in the same town), he complained about how my mother was 'stealing' all of his money and that my sister and i still had medical and commisary benefits, so that should have been enough.

stop me before i start sounding bitter...

[Orangedog]

this is the usual situation. when i practiced, i handled my share of divorce and custody cases. i know that most women do not get anywhere near their full court-ordered support.

To be fair, I think I wouldn't be going out on a limb to believe that you saw that as being normal because mothers with problems getting support from their ex-husbands would be a lot more likely to seek your services as a lawyer than those women who don't have that problem. Sort of like if a Urologist saw a lot of men coming to him with prostate cancer would not mean that the vast majority men have it.

Now that doesn't mean that there are not fathers who never pay what they are ordered to. But there are fathers who can can't afford to pay all of it. My next door neighbors' son had to move back in with them because with an income of $34,000 , after taxes and the $750 per month in support he was ordered to pay, he had just a little over $1000 dollars to live on.

[John O]

Whether moms want to admit it or not, soooo much of that depends on their Daddy (and their Daddy adores them). If a young girl does not have the love of a good daddy she will look to other men for that love.

This is one of the foundational truths of human behavior. Girls will seek men just like their father to marry and boys will seek to be just like their father. The father's role in raising healthy children (especially in their sexual identity) cannot be understated.

When I was a teen I always sought to date girls who's folks were divorced or who had bad fathers. They were always the easiest ones. (I know, I was pretty scummy back then. I've repented and gotten saved and learned a whole lot since then)

Likewise, 'homosexuals' seek to prey on boys with no strong father in the house as they are easy to seduce. (The boy is seeking some kind of attention from an adult male. He doesn't realize that he's being victimized until sometimes years later when he has to deal with the twisting that has been done to him)

As fathers, we need to protect our children, love them and teach them well. And the first step in loving your children is being married to and loving their mother.