Posted on 06/04/2003 10:10:37 PM PDT by tvn
Dave Letterman's Top 10-
Top Ten Things Agreed Upon at the G8 Summit
2. The summit's in France, which means "The New York Times" reporter is probably in Brooklyn
(Excerpt) Read more at cbs.com ...
The search continues for new NY Times slogan-
The Top 10:
1) All the News That We See Fit to Print
2) Some News, Some Fiction, You Figure It Out
3) All The News We Can Make Up or Steal
4) We Can Fool All of the People Some of the Time- That’s Enough for Us
5) What’s The Big Deal, It’s Not Like We Committed A Crime
6) You Want To Be Sure, Check With the Christian Science Monitor or Washington Post
7) "If They're So Smart, Why Didn't The Catch Me?" Jayson Blair, May 2003
8) Even the Stuff We Make Up Is Better Than Any Other Paper
9) Pretending To Send More Reporters To Cover More Stories Than Any Other Newspaper in the World
10) Countering the Country’s Conservative Course
The full list of 150 entries proposed so far:
1) ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT TO PRINT--NOT
2) LOTS OF NEWS THAT'S NOT FIT TO PRINT
3) ALL THE NEWS WE PRINT ISN'T FIT
4) All Our Views That's News to Print
5) All the News That We See Fit to Print
6) All the News As We See It
7) All the News, Fact or Better, Fiction
8) All the News, Well At Least Almost
9) All the News That We Can Dream Up
10) All The News We Can Crib From Others
11) Some News, Some Fiction, You Figure It Out
12) All The News We Can Make Up or Steal
13) All the News That's Fit to Print and Is Cleared by Our Lawyers
14) Lots of News We've Stolen From Other Papers
15) All the News Fit for a Plagiarist
16) All News Only a Plagiarist Can Love
17) All The News, Just Don't Check the Sources
18) All the News, Trust Us--Honest
19) Changing Fiction To Fact
20) All News, No Credibility
21) All the Lies Fit to Print.
22) Face it, We Just Like to Print!
23) Aside from the pervasive Marxist bias, multitudinous errors and mis-information, and Anti-capitalist/anti-American posturing, we ain’t that bad!"
24) "All The News That Fits Our Views."
25) All The News That’s Fit to Print, Except For the Stuff We Make Up
26) All the News And Then the Part We Make Up
27) Some Facts, the Rest Fiction
28) Reporting Fiction Stranger than Fact 29) Reporting Facts And Stranger Fiction
30) When It's Raines, It Bores
31) All the News Cribbed to Fit
32) Just the Facts and Some Fiction Thrown In
33) Some News, Some Fiction, You Figure It Out
34) We Can Fool All of the People Some of the Time- That’s Enough for Us
35) The Blair Filch Project
36) Nothing But the Truth (Except for the Part We Make Up)
37) Leading Nominee for Pulitzer Prize for Fiction
38) A Lie Told Often Enough Becomes Fact in the Times
39) Truth is Truth, Except in the New York Times
40) Transforming Lies into Truth
41) Weaving A Tangled Web to Deceive
42) When the Going Gets Tough, The Times Makes It Up
43) Give Us A Dollar, And We’ll Give You The World-- As We See It
44) The New York Times- We Try Harder, Then We Make It Up.
45) The New York Times, The Ultimate Lying Machine
46) When the News Absolutely, Positively Has to be Reported, We Make It Up.
47) We Answer to the Highest Authority- Ourselves
48) New York Times- Do They or Don’t They?
49) Hey, We All Make Mistakes
50) We Admit--When You’re Wrong, You’re Wrong
51) We Really Messed Up
52) We’re Really, Really Sorry—Honest
53) We Rarely Make Mistakes, But When We Do, They Tend To Be Lulus
54) What’s The Big Deal- We Usually Get It Right
55) Remember, The Washington Post Makes Mistakes Too
56) If You Don’t Believe Us- You Can Check The Facts on Google
57) We’ll Get It Right Yet
58) The Internet’s Replacing the Printed Press Anyway
59) What’s The Big Deal, It’s Not Like We Committed A Crime 60) What's the Big Deal- News Stories Are Like Subways—There’s A New One Arriving Every Few Minutes
61) We’ve Replaced the 5 W’s (Who, What, When, Where, Why) With the 5P’s (Pontificate, Proselytize, Persuade, Prevaricate, Persecute) and the 5 D’s ( Defraud, Distort, Deceive, Denounce, Dissemble)
62) When In Doubt, We Make It Up
63) Newspaper of Broken Record
64) All the News—And Then the Raines Came
65) Ethics—Who Needs “Em
66) We Have Nothing To Fear But -- Truth Itself
67) When the News Breaks, We “Fix” It
68) New York, New York, It’s A Wonderful Town—Just Don’t Rely on the Times
69) The New York Times would like to retract the following statement: "All The News That's Fit To Print" We have determined that this has been a daily lie for some time now, and we are diligently investigating how we can pin it all on Jason Blair. We appreciate your forbearance in this matter.
70) All the News That's Fit to Print, More or Less
71) "We decide, we report"
72) Maybe It’s True, Maybe it isn’t
73) Gray Lady down—and on her way out
74) We Always Knew What Was Fit To Print—Now We’re Really Not Sure
75) Neither Raines, Nor Sleet, Nor Dead Of Night Will Keep Us From Delivering Our Version of News
76) Raines’ Flops Keep Befalling On Our Headlines
77) Howell Raines’ Disdain Befalls Mainly Those in the Main
78) New York, New York- If We Can Make It Up There, We Can Make It Up Any Where
79) You Want To Be Sure, Check With the Christian Science Monitor
80) We Have To Find Some Way To Keep Our Circulation Up
81) All the news that fits....half is lies, the other half we made up.
82) All the new that's fit to print....(>>> anagram >>>).... That's it, then all profits went
83) All the news that's printed to fit our agenda
84) New York Times - The Novel .
85) All the News That’s Fit to Print- We triple guarantee it. There are no communists at the Times
86) We distort, you decide!
87) “Stuff We Heard From A Guy Who Says His Friend Heard About It"
88) Remember, Jayson Blair Got His Job Through the New York Times
89) The New York Times: Where Pinch Is Out To Lunch
90) Pinch- First Against the War, First Against the Peace, First in not axing lax newsmen
91) New York Times: Where Truth Takes A Holiday
92) New York Times: Where Affimative Action Begins and Proper Editing Ends
93) "If They're So Smart, Why Didn't The Catch Me?" Jayson Blair, May 2003
94) We Check It Twice, But Often Fail To Find Who's Naughty or Nice
95) Any More Screwups Like Blair And We Promise We'll Carry Cartoons
96) Pulp Fiction
97) We are lying (this time we are telling the truth)
98) Facts...Schmacts
99) A lot of words we figure we can print"
100) LIAR, LIAR, PRINT'S ON FIRE.
101) Call Us With A Tip, We’ll Make Up the Rest
102) All the news that's fixed to print.
103) All The News That Fits, We Print.
104) Covering the World From 44th Street and Broadway
105) Rewriting News From Across The Globe
106) Even the Stuff We Make Up Is Better Than Any Other Paper
107) We Never Let the Truth Stand Between the Times And a Good Story
108) Hey, At Least We Got The Truman-Dewey Election Right
109) We Know What Our Readers Want—So We Just Make It Up
110) We’re the World’s Largest Newspaper- We Can’t Make Everything Up
111) Research Shows Our Readers Usually Rate Our Made Up Articles Higher that The Real Stories Any Way
112) That's Newsertainment!
113) Pinch's Fiction
114) Darkest Ink In the Business
115) You Sayin' We're Liars?
116) We Prefer To Think Of It As "Reality Journalism"
117) More Than Equal Opportunity Employer
118) Ignore The Phony Reporting - Check out Those Hooters In Our Macy's Underwear Ads!
119) Thriftiest Traveling Reporters Anywhere
120) Printed On Real Paper Made From Actual Trees- Only Our News Is Recycled
121) Now 50% More Absorbent
122) Soy-Based Inks - Won't Spoil Flavor Of Your Fish!
123) So What If We Lie A Lot - We're From New York
124) Fact-checking? Why bother!
125) Ample Free Parking In Employee Garage
126) Pretending To Send More Reporters To Cover More Stories Than Any Other Newspaper in the World
127) Countering the Country’s Conservative Course
128) We Know What’s Right—Trust Us!
129) When Better Stories Are Reported, the Times Will Make Them Up
130) Us Lie? Never!
131) NY Times : Merging Facts and Opinion
132) Where Reporters Interpret the News
133) Once The Newspaper of Record
134) Please Believe Us
135) Reporting What We Think You Should Know
136) The New York Times Knows Best
137) Home of the Anonymous Source
138) In New York, Everyone Reads the Times—They Just Can’t Trust It
139) Where Today’s Scoops Become Tomorrow’s Retractions
140) We Get It Right, Or At Least Close
141) The Times they are a changin' - changin' the facts, that is!
142) When The Enquirer misses the mark....Turn to the NYTimes.
143) If it's beyond belief, you're reading the NYTimes.
144) Where Reporters'Opinions Count
145) New York's Leading Newspaper- We Drove All Our Competitors Out of Business
146) We Fired Our Fact Checkers Years Ago
147) Slanting The News THe Way We Like It
148) The Truth, The Whole Truth And Nothing But the Truth, Well Not Really
149) Reporting Opinion As Fact
150) We Know What You Should Know
Also--- Motto on Jayson Blair's Desk- The Lies Start Here
Motto on Rick Bragg’s Desk: I Never Met A Stringer I Didn’t Like
Motto on Howell Raines' Desk: (1) Don't Bother Me With The Truth, I Have A Paper To Run! (2) That’s Close Enough
Motto of the Washington Bureau: The Screw Ups Always Come Out of New York
Motto of the NY Staff: None of This Would Have Happened If Gore Had Won Florida
Motto on Pinch Sulzberger's Desk: (1) The Buck Passes By Here (2) I Got My Job By Inheriting The New York Times
Former slogan 'All the News That's Fit to Print' replaced with the trendy 'Don't Go There Girlfriend'
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