Posted on 05/20/2003 1:45:34 AM PDT by Cincinatus' Wife
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I was a music critic.
In fact, I spent 18 years reviewing and interviewing everybody from Gladys Knight and Dolly Parton to Paul Simon and Stevie Wonder. I left the beat (no pun intended) almost 10 years ago, driven by the realization that music had become defined by attitudinal young men cursing into the microphone and exceedingly fit young women whose only recognizable ''talent'' resided inside their bra cups.
My radio is usually tuned to the news station these days, so it was pure happenstance that I came across a singer named Kelly Price last week. She was singing something called He Proposed and it stopped me, for reasons that were not at all musical.
I mean, if I were to bring to bear the standards of my prior profession, I'd say Price has a nice, though not terribly distinctive, voice and a slight tendency to over-sing. She's not somebody whose music I'd ordinarily rush out to buy. The fact that I did rush out to buy it had less to do with the singer than the song. In it, Price weaves a rapturous tale of how her man took her to ''a special place'' and told her to close her eyes. ''When I opened them up,'' she sings, ``he was on one knee reaching for my hand. That's when he proposed to me.''
A FANTASY
What struck me then and strikes me now is what a fantasy that image has become. Particularly in the African-American community. Black people are, to put it plainly, not marrying like they used to. That's probably due in part to the same changes in social and sexual mores that have swept the nation as a whole over the past 40 years. Probably also due to the tragically high rates of incarceration that have shrunk the pool of marriageable African-American men.
Whatever the cause, the effect is clear in Census Bureau figures tracking the decline of black marriage. Indeed, according to a report issued just last month, blacks are significantly less likely than their white non-Hispanic counterparts to be currently married (57 percent versus 35 percent) and are similarly less likely (43 percent to 25 percent) to have ever been married. Forty-three percent of African-American families are headed by single women, 48 percent by married couples. By comparison, 13 percent of white families are headed by women, 82 percent by married couples.
And at this juncture, I know someone out there is screaming for me to acknowledge that the lack of a marriage license does not always equal the lack of familial stability and that one can be whole without being hitched. Consider these things acknowledged.
But the point here is that African America's reluctance to embrace marriage is symptomatic of a larger dislocation in the black family. That dislocation is seen in the aforementioned crisis of incarceration -- one in three young black men in prison, on parole or on probation. Seen in the almost 60 percent of black single mothers left to subsist on under $25,000 a year. Seen in the fact that the majority of African-American children are born out of wedlock and raised separately from their fathers. Seen in the pain of high-income black professional women who cannot find black men of similar achievement with whom to share their lives.
`MANLESS'
And it is seen, too, in an Essence magazine cover that once wounded me and now haunts me. ''Manless,'' it said. Manless.
It would be foolish to suggest that everything that ails black folk can be found at the marriage altar. But it would be equally foolish, I think, to underestimate the family and community stability that might be created, the financial burdens that might be eased, the children who might be saved, if more of us were willing to take a shot on forever.
Until we find that willingness, it will be difficult to listen to He Proposed without hearing something unintentionally wistful in its words. The picture the songwriter paints seems less a reality than a mirage.
And, also, a painful reminder. The woman in the song is getting married, after all. Many black women never will.
"I would just provide that every person in this country is given a certain minimum income. If he wants to work in addition to that, he keeps what he earns."--Senator George S. McGovern
Between LBJ's statement in 1964 and McGovern's in 1972, American liberals radically transformed their welfare philosophy from one founded on opportunity and hard work to one advocating automatic entitlements. Gareth Davies' book shows us just how far-reaching that transformation was and how much it has to teach anyone engaged in the latest round of debates over welfare reform in America.
When Lyndon Johnson declared a "War on Poverty," he took great care to align his ambitious program with national attitudes toward work, worthiness, and dependency. Eight years later, however, American liberals were dominated by those who believed that all citizens enjoyed an unqualified right to income support with no strings or obligations attached. That shift, Davies argues, was part of a broader transformation in political values that had devastating consequences for the Democratic Party in particular and for the cause of liberalism generally.***
In spite of? "Largely because of" makes more sense. Give boys/"men" an easy out and they will take it.
The Hispanic population has a much lower rate of abortion primarily due to the Catholic influence and values. No idea about Indians.
For those who profit from misery, but not for those who would prosper.
I maintain this statement is not factually correct. A large percentage of this 43% is headed by grandmothers.
The girls pop out a kid and the grand mother raises it. The grandmothers fend off the young bucks from direct family participation until age has mellowed and responsibility begins to take hold.
I maintain this statement is not factually correct. A large percentage of this 43% is headed by grandmothers.
The girls pop out a kid and the grand mother raises it. The grandmothers fend off the young bucks from direct family participation until age has mellowed and responsibility begins to take hold.
Remember also, it is the responsibility of the village to contribute to the maintenance of the grandmother.
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