[hellinahandcart]

I'm asking this question to you and to all the men. Why would you want a woman to "consent" to sex if she didn't really want to have sex with you?

Not "a woman", his wife. And he doesn't really want her to "consent when she doesn't want it"---he wants her to want it. That is what makes him feel loved.

Pretty simple concept. Flies right over the heads of a lot of women, though. The man's sexual interest in her was an essential part of the romance, before the marriage; whether she realizes it or not, it is also a major part of what made *her* feel loved.

Ironically, when a woman who is no longer interested in sex gets her way, and the begging, wheedling, and cajoling for lovemaking finally stop altogether-- she'll die on the vine a lot faster than he will. And her resentment may be even greater than his.

I am a woman, btw, so please don't tell me I know zip about female sexuality.

[honeygrl]

Ironically, when a woman who is no longer interested in sex gets her way, and the begging, wheedling, and cajoling for lovemaking finally stop altogether-- she'll die on the vine a lot faster than he will. And her resentment may be even greater than his. I am a woman, btw, so please don't tell me I know zip about female sexuality.

You know about yourself but not all women! I can go a lot longer than my hubby. Not because I don't love him or love sex, but after having a baby my interest is just gone for like a year. Do you have any kids? They give new meaning to exhaustion!

[William McKinley]

Wheedling and cajoling are a healthy thing, and are a sign of a healthy marriage.

Begging never is. (Well, other than playful begging that is really just cajoling)

[Lorianne]

The point I'm making is not about people who lose interest in sex, but who never had interest to begin with.

[watchin]

So much insight into the male side of things, and you're a woman? I never would have guessed from that thread! If your husband understands women the way you understand men, you must have a dynamite marriage.