Cover versions from hell

The Sydney Morning Herald ^ | May 13 2003 | Elaine Kelly

[presidio9]

Sometimes it's unfortunate that the beat goes on. Sometimes it's necessary to say, "Enough is enough." We have reached that moment.

The first time this dawned on me, I was at the gym. Generally speaking, the gym is a haven for terrible, long-forgotten music. A session won't pass without the emergence of a bad early 1990s dance track, my favourite being Mr Vein.

Anyway, on this particular occasion my tolerance was stretched beyond breaking point. Roger Waters would have been cringing, surely. Hell, I was physically convulsing and it wasn't even my song to get protective over. I let it go: after all, I was at the gym, the only place that could possibly get away with playing a butchered version of Another Brick in the Wall, right? Evidently not. The second time I heard it was on Nova 96.9, wedged between Ja Rule and Justin Timberlake. It couldn't be. Someone had seriously released a dance remix of Pink Floyd!

I took several deep breaths and convinced myself that it wasn't the end of the world; it was just, well, another brick in the wall, really.

It has often been remarked that we are living in the era of the remix. It seems that just because we have the technology, there is a justification to mess around with an original and create something "new". In the case of dance remix, there has been a significant exploitation of the equipment, more than an exploration.

We have just come out of a summer that saw our airways flooded with remixes. Most drew on 1980s and early 1990s pop tunes, a bizarre, unexpected twist leading to the conclusion: it was actually better back then! DJ Sammy is the most obvious.

Listed on the bill of last year's Rumba concert, DJ Sammy was on constant rotation all summer, first with Heaven, then with Boys of Summer. Nova also chipped in with a version of Time after Time. Such examples epitomise the uselessness of the remix, each tune altered to slip into the generic commercial dance slot, assuring them of instant success and a boatload of cash. We can only hope that other gems, like Icehouse's Electric Blue, escape from this trend unscathed.

But it doesn't end there. I recently stumbled on a "trance" mix of John Lennon's Imagine. Lennon's voice simply sang, naked of the raw emotions contained in the original. The words lost their meaning against the repetitious beat. Like the original, it did bring tears to the eyes, but for all the wrong reasons.

Something must be done. These aren't just covers - a cover at least shows some promise. These represent a whole new ball game.

Invariably, the remixes and the artists are forgotten, beaten by their own use-by-date, so it is useless to whinge. But, at the same time, it's hard not to, especially when you see the commercial advertising an entire CD of all our favourite oldies remixed. Cover if you will, but please, give us something different. Explore, don't exploit.

[js1138]

I kind of like the Muppet Beach Party CD.

[Wolfie]

I nominate Mariah Carey's version of "Bringin' On The Heartbreak". Be afraid, be very afraid.

[Tennessee_Bob]

"Dance of the Cucumber"

Veggie Tales Rocks!

[Hatteras]

Like, do you know "Stairway to Heaven", dude?

[SamAdams76]

Country music has been putting out a lot of cover songs of pop hits from the 1970s in recent year. Some that come to mind include "Desperado" (from The Eagles and done by Clint Black), "Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia" (from Vicki Lawrence and done by Tanya Tucker) and "Angel Of The Morning" (done by Juice Newton and covered by I don't know who). Some of these covers sound so much like the originals that I didn't even realize it was a remake until the DJ announced it.

[SamAdams76]

"Key Largo" by Bertie Higgins is screaming for a remake. Ditto for "Seasons In The Sun" by Terry Jacks.

[borkrules]

John Lennon's "Imagine" is the most pernicious song written in the english language.

[presidio9]

Shudder, don't forget that Fleetwood Mac song that the Dixie Sluts covered for the MTV awards.

[amused]

Better keep William Shatner's version of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" far away from this guy.

[discostu]

So is this the "innovation" copyright is suposedly preventing?

[circles]

I remember that Waylon Jennings had a cover version of Macarthur Park. He actually won a grammy for it. I've never heard it, but how can it not be hideous.

Then again, how could he have made it any worse.

[weegee]

Some of these covers sound so much like the originals that I didn't even realize it was a remake until the DJ announced it.

Such was the case with Chubby Checker's cover of Hank Ballard's "The Twist". Hank's song had been out for quite awhile when it started to climb up the charts again and was in the top 50. It was then that Chubby's sound-alike version hit the top of the charts and Chubby debuted the dance on American Bandstand. Dick Clark had a hand in seeing that another performer released a version of that song. Even Hank himself was fooled the first time he heard it.

[rogue yam]

Like, do you know "Stairway to Heaven", dude?

Dude! Have you ever heard Dash Rip Rock's "Stairway to Freebird"?

It's so awesome you'll need two lighters.

[lorrainer]

Whinge?

[Fabozz]

Pshaw, Shatner's "LSD" was nothing compared to Leonard Nimoy's "Proud Mary." "Big wheel, keep on toinin', Proud Mary keep on boinin'..."

[weegee]

For those who missed this thread:

William Shatner's dubious honour May 05,2003 (worst Beatles cover of all time)

[ThinkingMan]

"Barbara Manatee" is far and away the best of the Veggie Tales tunes!

[weegee]

Of course the single worst rendition of anything would have to be Rosanne Barr singing the National Anthem. Tone deaf I could handle, she was deliberately off pitch, off beat, and screaming the words.

She meant it as a joke. William Shatner has always held that his "singing" (more spoken really) is just a gag (he even sang the movie nominated songs for an MTV movie awards ceremony). William Shatner's gag recordings are at least listenable. Miss Barr's are not.

[blam]

"Some that come to mind include "Desperado" (from The Eagles and done by Clint Black)"

Desperato was recorded by Linda Ronstadt back in 1971 when the guys who were to becone the Eagles were working for her.

"April 1, 1971 Linda Ronstadt recruits Glenn Frey, Don Henley, Bernie Leadon and Randy Meisner for her touring band from among a pool of musicians centered around the Troubadour, a Los Angeles club that is the center of the nascent country-rock scene."