The Pain of Celebrating Mother's Day

e3mil.com ^ | 4/29/03 | Annie Banno

[nickcarraway]

On Mother’s Day Weekend this year, something is going to happen that has never happened before. And it will happen in Hartford, CT, on the North Steps of the Capitol Building. Silent No More (now formally known by its original name, Operation Outcry: Silent No More) will hold the first of its Mother’s Day Press Conferences. Women who have had abortions and regret them will speak up publicly to share their personal stories and hold signs saying, “I Regret My Abortion.”

But we will do more than that. Each woman will commemorate her lost child in a brief memorial by announcing her aborted child’s name and placing a single red rose for each child in a decorated basket at the press conference.

You see, I became a mother for the first time — really — in February 1979. I should have first celebrated Mother’s Day that year. Unfortunately for me, I made the wrong “choice,” and by Mother’s Day, I was no longer pregnant with my baby girl.

The Elliot Institute surveyed numerous medical studies, and in applying these studies’ conclusions, it is safe to say that more than 17 million American women silently suffer each Mother’s Day because of their abortions. Or they are in complete denial about them.

All women in our region who regret their abortions are invited to attend this Mother’s Day Press Conference, even just to stand anonymously in the attending audience. Next year, there will be others like this, all around the nation.

I don’t know how many women will stand with me on Friday, May 9, 2003, from 10 a.m. – 12 noon. If I am the only one, I will still go. I will say to the media (if they show) that the reason is that millions of American women who have had abortions cannot acknowledge their pain. If a post-abortive woman tells anyone, some pro-life people — even some of the ones who stand outside the abortion clinic next to me, the ones with bullhorns — will condemn her. And the pro-abortion people will call her crazy for feeling regret! They’ll say she’s “unstable” and it’s all in her head! So she feels she can’t win. Both sides make it impossible for her to seek healing from her regret and pain. That’s why so many women don’t talk about their regret. It seems that no one makes it easy.

Still others are convinced that they are the only ones hurting. But the truth is that everywhere we go, everywhere we look, even when female phone installers come to our home offices and see the abortion recovery literature strewn on our desks, women cannot help but pour out their grief and their regret.

The Operation Outcry: Silent No More campaign tells the truth about abortion’s emotional, spiritual and physical consequences and reaches out to women suffering from their abortion experience. It also benefits women who feel ready to help others avoid the same trauma by allowing them to participate — even anonymously — in a considerable legal effort to overturn one of the first Supreme Court Decisions legalizing abortion, Roe v. Wade. Over one thousand women have submitted their stories in legal affidavits, to date. [ All affidavits will be available on the Internet for public viewing, but with contact and identifying information withheld if requested.]

Affidavits will be available at our Mother’s Day press conference confidentially to anyone who asks (even men and non-post-abortive women can complete one), but are not the primary focus of this event.

Pass the word. If you or someone you know would like to share in the rose basket memorial ceremony, please RSVP by Tuesday, May 6 so we will be sure to have enough roses on hand.

The more that women talk openly about their grief, regrets and hurts surrounding their abortions, the more other women will have the courage to speak up and find the healing they deserve.

For more information, contact me at 203-820-9898 or E-mail: smok22@earthlink.net. You may also visit the web site, call 210-614-7157 or E-mail:info@txjf.org

(Annie Banno is the Connecticut State Leader of SILENT NO MORE.To contact her or sign up to receive her free newsletter, E-mail: mailto:smok22@earthlink.net.)

[Brad’s Gramma]

Excellent. To say the least.

[zerosix]

Wow, what a message.

Now which TV outlet has the courage to show it during Prime Time?

[Mo1]

If a post-abortive woman tells anyone, some pro-life people — even some of the ones who stand outside the abortion clinic next to me, the ones with bullhorns — will condemn her. And the pro-abortion people will call her crazy for feeling regret! They’ll say she’s “unstable” and it’s all in her head! So she feels she can’t win. Both sides make it impossible for her to seek healing from her regret and pain. That’s why so many women don’t talk about their regret.

She is right .. I'll bet there are many other women that regret their decision .. Maybe if more women spoke out about the wrong choices that made in the past .. it will help women from making the wrong choices in the future

[ZinGirl]

Wow, what a message

my thoughts exactly.

[ohioWfan]

Bump for LIFE

[UlmoLordOfWaters]

This is excellent. My best friend years ago had an abortion. I'll NEVER forget the emotional wreck she was on the anniversary of what was to have been her due date. It was heartbreaking for me to see her grief. You never hear about that side of abortion from the "choice" people. Thankfully, she's doing much better now, but it took many years and the touch of God.

[firewalk]

Bttt

[zerosix]

Not all pro-life people or churches do that. My church sponsors counseling for such women.

[Mo1]

My church sponsors counseling for such women.

My church sponsors counseling also.

[Artist]

FYI ping.

[ValenB4]

This is fantastic! What a powerful message.

There are comparisons to euthanasia. For instance, when people claim that they want to die after a paralyzing accident, most of the time they don't really mean it. After a year or a few months of learning that life can still be lived and enjoyed, almost everyone has a change of heart. In such subjectively stressful moments, a person's autonomy should be superceded by those with a better perspective.

The average lifespan of a person living in the Western world is in the mid to late 70s. Isn't it selfish to deny someone 70-plus years of life in order to avoid a 9-month pregnancy? The government, on the other hand, doesn't hesitate in asking for people to sacrifice much of their incomes in taxes or to go fight and die in foolish wars. While I'm pretty libertarian, the government ought to do everything in its power to encourage people to not have abortions. The triumph of life and love supercedes any political theorizing.

[anniegetyourgun]

Another bump for life.

[mabelkitty]

I have a tale from a friend of mine. Seems this is the right place to do it, even though it is pretty personal. I am confident, however, that she won't recognize some of the details, as I've changed them:

Her mother had one. Father had just left the home, and mother thought it was the prudent thing to do. Happened five years after final living child.

If that child would have been allowed to be born, that child would have been the only child to remain at mother's home while they finished high school.

Said child would have known mother was very sick and could have either watched mother or alerted older children there was a problem so mother could be saved.

Said child was not born, so mother was very ill for two years and was able to hide it from her children until one month before death. Two of her children were in the military, one was living with new family in another state, one was overseas.

Friend did not put two and two together until many years later, and we both had hair standing on the back of our necks after reaching the same conclusion - there is a reason for each and every pregnancy, and the reason may not be immediately known, but it will present itself in the future.

Another friend did not have abortion even though she was an unmarried teen. Turns out boyfriend died before finding out she was pregnant.

I don't need to tell you how his parents felt about this.

[all4one]

Maybe I am old-fashioned, but the "choice" comes prior to the pregnancy. I find the Jerry Springer type victimization of everthing abhorrent. Maybe there should be a special section in the Hallmark store for Mother's Day cards for women who chose to murder their potential children.

We don't need another special interest victims group hi-jacking Mother's Day. Those of us who have always considered motherhood a blessing and an honor and not a "choice" don't need to see the pro-abortion crowd bo-hooing after they have murdered their children. I think of friends and relatives who are struggling with infertility seeing these women on the news looking for sympathy and recognition for Mother's Day..what an insult. My mother passed away 10 years ago, maybe I should start a media blitz for sympathy for daughters whose mothers will never know their grandchildren.

While I pray these women have support in their churches, families and professional counseling; their public display in wanting sympathy and consideration for Mother's Day is sickening.

[DryFly]

Your compassion is truly heartwarming.

[all4one]

I am a volunteer for an orphanage and at a hospital that deals with children who are born with drug dependency, AIDS, terminal illnesses, etc. I show my compassion with my heart and my time for children who are born and need love. I go on doctor's appointments with my niece who has been trying to get pregnant for three years. And I pray that she and her husband will soon know the joy of parenthood.

And I pray for the souls of children who are murdered by the pro-abortion crowd. I pray for the potential scientists, potential doctors, and all the potential that is being taken away from potential mothers and parents because of their choice. These people are not victims. While they deserve compassion and love; there is no reason to hi-jack Mother's Day for their cause. There are 364 other days in the year for them to seek public sympathy and recognition.

[votelife]

incredible step of courage by these women. I hope it helps other woman make the right "choice"

[Diver Dave]

...On a semi-related subject... You might want to grab a kleenex...

One of our daughters has been unable to carry a baby to term.

Last year as Mother's Day approached, she approached the pastor to let him know how painful it was to sit in the Mother's Day morning worship service and watch all the mothers and grandmothers being recognized.

On Mother's Day, as usual, the pastor asked all the mothers in the service to stand. He then asked all the grandmothers to do the same. His next comment was to ask all the mothers whose baby's first sight was Jesus to please stand.

May God Bless and Comfort.

[all4one]

I am sorry for you that your views are clouded by the "everyone is a victim and no-one is responsible for their own actions" crowd. Life must be a piece of cake for that crowd, it is always someone else's fault.