Posted on 04/26/2003 4:53:14 AM PDT by sarcasm
If nothing else, the SARS outbreak in Canada's largest city has at least given the world a chance to do what the rest of the country has been doing for years: make fun of Toronto.
Canadian officials appear to be fighting a losing battle as they scramble to repair the damage to Toronto's reputation from a WHO travel warning.
In a report entitled "SARS Attacks!," the U.S. television news parody show The Daily Show took a few jabs at Toronto on The Comedy Network this week. Host Jon Stewart interviewed "Senior Viral Analyst" Dr. Stephen Colbert, asking him: "Are the people there going to panic?"
"Hard to tell, Jon," the masked actor replied. "Torontonians are an incredibly reserved people living in a crushingly dull place. Panic? I'm not sure they're awake!"
The show's "expert" called the city "surgically sterile" and said: "I say bring on the SARS. An epidemic might give this place a little zippity zing."
The online humour magazine Slate posted an article yesterday noting the SARS outbreak "requires American newspaper readers to adjust to the novelty of seeing the words 'danger' and 'Toronto' in the same sentence."
The article said Canada, in general, is "a famous underperformer in the creation of interesting news," and scoured U.S. news databases for stories including the words "Toronto" and "danger."
Only 75 such stories turned up, compared to "the alluringly noir" Los Angeles and Miami, with 690 and 479.
Mayor Mel Lastman's efforts to help his city shake off the SARS label may have done more harm than good, particularly his befuddled appearance on CNN.
In a five-minute interview, the flustered Mayor misstated the facts about the city's outbreak several times, and was unable to say how many Torontonians have contracted the disease, though he did say 8,500 people had been quarantined.
Mr. Lastman grew apoplectic on the topic of the World Health Organization, repeating his line that, as Mayor of the country's largest city, he had never heard of the high-profile UN agency.
"We would have been much better off if we had put the Mayor under quarantine before the [CNN] interview," Howard Moscoe, a Toronto city councillor and vocal critic of the Mayor, said yesterday.
However, Mr. Lastman's office praised his efforts, saying the "little fireplug of a Mayor" had reassured the world that Toronto is safe to visit. "So this little guy isn't perfect," said Scot Magnish, a spokesman for the Mayor. "In 48 hours, we've changed a Toronto story into an international story, and people around the world are now talking about Toronto."
Not always in a good way, however. The Mayor did not, for example, impress the British newspaper The Guardian, which said yesterday Mr. Lastman "exploded with anger" after the WHO "blacklisted" Toronto.
It compared him to Liam Fox, the British Conservative health critic who challenged the advice of medical experts, and supported the WHO warning about Toronto.
Jean Chrétien, the Prime Minister, was only marginally more helpful, flying back to Canada after taking a 12-day Caribbean holiday during the height of the outbreak of the deadly respiratory virus.
Mr. Chrétien offered $10-million to improve Toronto's image in the wake of the WHO warning and scheduled a Cabinet meeting there on Tuesday to demonstrate it is a safe city to visit.
"I will be staying at a Toronto hotel Monday night and I will sleep very, very, very well," he said from Ottawa.
Much of the impact of the Prime Minister's announcements were lost, however, when the latest SARS deaths were announced soon after he spoke.
"There is no SARS within a hundred miles of Baghd....er...Toronto! Lies! The WHO mercenaries...I hit them with my shoe!"
How can this be, isn't the WHO part of the UN? Surely no one, especially a Canadian government official would even think of disagreeing with the UN.
Surely no one, especially a Canadian government official would even think of disagreeing with the UN.
Mel Lastman is a bit excitable, to say the least. He would "explode with anger" over bird droppings on his car.
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