Posted on 04/18/2003 1:42:49 PM PDT by Pokey78
Drats, I really liked that album!
I wonder how long this illusion will last. Probably until the next time they need defense...again.
<===Mash ThisFrench Army to Market "Ultimate Surrender" Video Game
Paris - Inspired by the commercial success of the United States Army’s "Boot Camp" video game, the General Staff of the French Army has announced plans to market "Ultimate Surrender," a video game based upon the proud military traditions of the Gauls.
In the game we follow the exploits of Lucky Pierre, an apprentice garlic salesman from Marseilles, as he joins the French Army and begins a rigorous course of combat training.
The First Level of the game is called "Survival School," and the players have to help Lucky Pierre survive 24 hours without red wine or crème brulé.
The Second Level is "Capitulation," and the goal here is to see which player can have Lucky Pierre surrender the fastest without firing a shot or getting his uniform dirty.
Level Three is "Collaboration." Here the players battle to see who can collect the largest numbers of pairs of nylon stockings and packages of chocolates by having Lucky Pierre perform sexual favors for members of the occupying forces.
Level Four is "Be Ungrateful to America for Rescuing Your Sorry French Ass Once Again." In this extremely challenging part of the game contestants vie with one another to see who can make Lucky Pierre behave in the surliest manner when the United States inevitably comes to the rescue of the defeated French.
The Final Level is "Pretending to Have Been in the Resistance." Here contestants compete in a battle of tall tales and whoppers as they try to protect Lucky Pierre from treason charges.
Marketing tests show that "Ultimate Surrender" is a big hit with French teenagers and young adults who are too young to have experienced France’s lightening surrender to the Germans in 1940 or its defeat by the Vietnamese in 1954 at Dien Bien Phu. "Zees is a great tool to inspire ze patriotism in ze youths, n’est ce pas?" said General Jean-Jacques Loseur, Commander-in-Chief of the French Army, during his weekly press conference. "Since ze end of ze Cold War we French have not had many opportunities to surrender or to show great cowardice in the face of much weaker opponents."
When questioned about comments made in the French Chamber of Deputies that "Ultimate Surrender" makes the French Army look like a bunch of gutless mama’s boys, General Loseur pulled out a white handkerchief, put his hands over his head and said, "Oh heck, I give up."
I can forgive Canada because many Canadians who didn't vote for Cretien made their support for our position loud and clear, holding pro-U.S.A. demostrations and writing letters saying they were ashamed of their government's backstabbing. Quebec and Ontario was behind all the weasely stuff. Mexico, on the other hand, was 99% against us and our "best friend" the "conservative" Vincente Fox was ringleader.
With Germany, I didn't really expect anything else from that socialist scumbag Schroder, and I expect his adminstraton will be going bye-bye soon. The opposition party (Christian Democratic Party?) made their support for us clear. I suspect this also might be part of the old divide between East (communist) and West (capitalist) Germany that is still years from fixing, but we'll see if there is an attitude change.
I was PREPARED to forgive Russia until I found out that Putin was probably sharing information with Saddam and that Russia seems to be interested in restarting the cold war again. Now, I'm leaning towards retaliation, and I don't see why Negropointe didn't vote to condemn THEIR "unilaterial, pre-emptive" actions in Chenynea.
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