[piasa]

I dedicate this brand spanking new repost of Ronin's never ending sea stories thread to our great and gallant military, past and present, and to all those serving in the Coaltition of the Willing.

May God bless them, every one, even if they embellish their exploits a little now and then.

[piasa]

FYI - The FreeRepublic Sea Stories Saga continues- this time on a thread that actually works...

[freedom9]

Bump

[Vermonter]

As I returned one morning to my Destroyer (USS Robert H. McCard DD 822) tied up at the pier in Charleston, SC, I observed a young 'deck ape' sweeping the main deck up toward the bow.

When he reached the Bull Nose, he continued, without pause, to pitch his broom over the bow.

_________________________________________________

In a typical government employee action, on the same ship, we were having some type of spare parts audit. It was discovered that we had two spare Cyclotrons for the Fire Control Radar as opposed to the one spare we should have had.

The obvious solution to this dilemna was to pitch the excessive Cyclotron over the side. (These things were supposedly worth ~$25K in 1969 dollars)

[Poohbah]

Now set condition "This is no shit."

Once upon a time, my father was a naval officer. Another officer in his unit said "We should rename this unit to more accurately reflect our mission. We say we are Commander, Fleet Operational Computers, Pacific, but we REALLY are in charge of utility computers."

This was accepted, and they got as far as getting the new plain language address for their message traffic before realizing that they'd been had.

Commander, Fleet Utility Computers, Pacific translated to the following message address: COMFUCPAC

[dighton]

bttt

[Eastbound]

Well, the only one I remember is the one about the skipper who challenged the boatswain who never lost a bet. I can't repeat it here, but if any of you old guys remember the one about the candle maybe you can dress it up a bit and post it. On second thought, never mind.

[GATOR NAVY]

bump

[orlop9]

A bosun I worked with once told me a story about a crazy-a$$ Norwegian Captain he worked with once on an oil tanker. The crew was made up of Muslim Africans who pray towards Mecca at certain times of the day. Before prayers they would call the bridge and ask for the course being steered. This crazy skipper would wait till prayers start and then CHANGE COURSE. The Muslims obviously didn't see the humor and after a few times, stormed up to the bridge screaming, You Debil, You Debil.

Not to worry though, the Bosun told me, they got even. Somehow the crew got their hands on some Nair, (what they were doing with Nair on an Oil Tanker there's no telling) and replaced the Captains shampoo with Nair. When his hair started falling out by the handfull he got off the ship, thinking he'd caught some weird disease from the Africans.

[Diver Dave]

Bump. I'll be back later. Just marking the spot for now.

[Genesis defender]

Things that go BUMP in the night.

[NFOShekky]

Shipmates, the truth is stranger than fiction and after 22 years haze grey and underway, I could write a book. . . A good one that my dad, a Korean War Navyman, told me is as follows:

His carrier was conducting ASW (antisubmarine warfare) operations and tracking a Soviet sub when the war started. The Captain, wanting to motivate the crew gave a rousing speech that ended with "and now the hunter . . . may be the hunted!" General Quarters was then sounded and the brave crew (that went on to win seven battle stars in that war) proceeded to their abandon ship stations!

[PatriotCJC]

I'll never forget the time we were ulling to Pusan Korea and as we were pulling into port (I was conning Officer) a bloated body passed down the staroard side. When we pointed it out to the pilot he just shrugged his shoulders and said "huh". We kept on going.

[PatriotCJC]

I'll never forget the time we were pulling into Pusan Korea and as we were pulling into port (I was conning Officer) a bloated body passed down the staroard side. When we pointed it out to the pilot he just shrugged his shoulders and said "huh". We kept on going.

[visitor]

The Perfect Storm: an Intrepid night landing...rto

[RaceBannon]

In oredr to get mail at sea, we had a navy or Marine 46 drop off mail and whatever on the back flight deck on the USS Lamoure County, LST 1194.

When there was an aircraft coming in, we wouldhear the call over the 1MC, "Flight Quarters, Flight Quaters, man your flight quarters stations"

One day, we heard the call for Flight Quarters. 5 minutes later, we heard another call over the 1MC:

"Will the person holding the kyes to the Flight Quarters Gear Locker please lay the same?"

That sailor who had the keys for the locker with all the helmets and vests didnt show up for Flight Quarters!

[sit-rep]

Arriving to the U.S.S. St Louis LKA-116 in 82. I had the world by the ass... Fresh out of bootcamp, reporting to my first ship. It was grand to say the least. I did not care about much of the boat, all I wanted was to get to my job...the engine room.

The first week was educational and I'll never forget it. I walked up on some guys working on a pump. I watched as they tried to free it from it's mount. The taper pins in it's base were a clear cause for it's stubborness. They told me to go over and see BT1 and get a BT Punch. With my natuaral abilities with mechanical equipment, I thought that this indeed was the proper tool. A punch to knock the pins out of the base of the pump.

I finally found the BT1 and told him the guys sent me over for a BT Punch... ...the next thing I knew I was picking myself off the deck. I got my BT Punch alright, right square in the chest!!

Believe it, or not!!

SR

[75thOVI]

BubbleHead Bump for later. (Can't have all these skimmers and targets hogging the good stories.)

[AlaninSA]

Back in my enlisted days (I'm what the Marines would call a "mustang") I did basic and AIT on a "split option." That is, I went to basic one summer and AIT the next.

One of the nice bennies of this was that we went to basic as slick sleeve privates, but returned as PV2s or PFCs.

Now those of us with Army backgrounds know that cadre wore stipped pistol belts to mark themselves from the trainees. We decided to combine our "senior" ranks as PFCs/PV2s with the pistol belts we brought from home station and then mess with the real newbies while we were at the reception battalion.

We took PV2 "mosquito wing" pins and placed them on top of PFC rank (a stripe and a rocker). We then grabbed stripped pistol belts and waited for the time in the evening when most of the cadre had gone home.

Dressed now as "staff corporals" (a take on the SSG rank), we went upstairs to create havoc on the guys who'd been in the Army for all of a week.

We went upstairs, started yelling "I'm Staff Corporal ___ ."

We got away with this for about 20 minutes, got a bunch of guys to stand at parade rest and dropped several for pushups.

And then we got caught.

I spent the next hours "pushing up Fort Dix."

[11th_VA]

I had the brow watch once in Australia, and some Aussie Air FOrce officers came on board for a tour. The chief asked me to show them around the ship. Everywhere I took them (missile launchers, gun mounts, refueling stations), I'd explain our methods of operations, they would always remark, "That's not how we do it in the Air force". Finally I took them up to the bridge and tried to explain a little about how we steer the ship. When they answered again, "That's not how we do it in the Air Force," I said, "That's why ships don't fly."

(It was funny at the time, you had to be there)

[11th_VA]

USS CHICAGO - SEA STORIES, SCUTTLEBUTT, AND OTHER LIES